Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

onomatopoeia99

Tea, thank you for sharing that, and to code for your honesty yesterday. My circumstances are different, but as far as someone can that hasn't been through what you have, I do get it. There was a lot in the article that resonated, and even I have been told "You're not a parent, you wouldn't understand" in the past.

tea_lover

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Tea, thank you for sharing that, and to code for your honesty yesterday. My circumstances are different, but as far as someone can that hasn't been through what you have, I do get it. There was a lot in the article that resonated, and even I have been told "You're not a parent, you wouldn't understand" in the past.

Yes, it's the attitude of a large part of society (not all, of course) towards non-standard families (in their many forms) that grates. There are so many different situations that seem to be dismissed out of hand - those people who would have liked children but weren't medically able or chose not to, those people who didn't find themselves in the right circumstances, those people who made a choice not to have children and are perfectly happy with that..... but all of them seem to be looked down on by society and the almost cult-like status of the 'traditional family'. Don't get me wrong - I have absolutely nothing against children, or families with children! But there are perfectly valid alternatives to that set up that are still families.

I would imagine that very few people with children have ever been asked why they had them. Or, if they have, it's unlikely to have been by a stranger attempting small talk. But for some unknown reason it seems to be perfectly acceptable to expect strangers to justify their reasons for not having them to all and sundry.

To torture an analogy.... I love my cat , think he's the best thing since sliced bread. But I wouldn't dream of asking everyone I meet if they have a cat, and then asking them why not if they said no....then saying things like "as a cat-parent" when stories about animal cruelty were on the news. That would be weird.

tea_lover

There is a chance I have had a bit too much codeine and got even more rambly than usual.... I will now step away from the keyboard :o

Pyxis

The really, really ironic thing is that I have heard couples who choose to be childless being told they are selfish, but I have also heard single people who choose to have a child by sperm donor as being selfish as well!

God only knows why people just can't be allowed to do whatever suits them, without all this social judgement.

Izadora

No need to step away Tea, the ranty-ramblings are fun. I might have to start being sanctimonious about "as a cat-parent" though and seeing what people's reactions are. Especially when I tell them what a heartless person I am that I abandoned them and left them at my parents' house (where they have a very large garden, the complete run of the house and very doting cat-grandparents) when I moved into a 1st floor, rented flat with IzHe.

onomatopoeia99

Booked a couple of days off so going to London for the exhibition, and going to see my friend as well

Waves_and_Smiles

I am still alive! I am currently frantically cleaning the flat and decluttering - tidy house, tidy mind right? Probably not but I'm trying anyway and it's stopping me thinking too deeply. I feel a little better and should be back soon. I miss you all!

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I am still alive! I am currently frantically cleaning the flat and decluttering - tidy house, tidy mind right? Probably not but I'm trying anyway and it's stopping me thinking too deeply. I feel a little better and should be back soon. I miss you all!

Yey! WaSsie! :T :T :T

:kisses3:

When you've finished yours, you can start on mine! Hahahahahaha!




Have a lovely time, Ono! And it'll be good to see your friend!

whitewing

And mine, WaS!

DH had an early shift today, so I was up early and ready for action. Now a 5 min coffee break before I dash into the shower.

tea_lover

Brrr!! Winter has arrived!