Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello Katiie! This thread is for anyone who might be having any mental health problems, their carers or anyone generally interested. For mental health problems that can be anything from depression, anxiety, more complex difficulties, or simply someone who is feeling upset right now and needs somewhere safe to vent. Really, absolutely everyone is welcome if they would like to be heard! You are more than welcome to talk here and we will be happy to listen.

Waves_and_Smiles

After a very bad night for me- Tiny penguin explaining, not pleasant- (catatonia and stuck in a world I couldn't get out of with animals burning to death which was my fault) I have been crying to my american friend about what one can do when one feels this awful. She simply said "You keep on living until you feel alive again". I had to share that, it is so simple but has helped me so much. Yes, you do just that.

Pyxis

The thread etiquette...........

Pyxis wrote: »

(The thread etiquette will be reposted every ten or so pages.)
........:starmod:......................................................................:starmod:.....................
Here is the suggested THREAD ETIQUETTE. By following this etiquette, all posters, whether new or existing, will feel safe, unpressured and respected..

!!!But first...............please be assured..................................................................******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. (See below about penguins). In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******


- This is a thread for support. We have discovered some good friends on here, but we promise always to welcome and include new people, and not to be cliquey.

- People may make suggestions to help each other, and might even ask if the suggestions were helpful or have been carried out, but we'll really try not to nag each other or put too much pressure on.

- The normal board rules about sexism, racism, homophobia etc. apply, but if we are careful we should be able to discuss almost anything without breaching board rules - so far we have discussed subjects ranging from child abuse to incontinence!

-If someone thinks that too much pressure is being applied, they can post the trigger word PENGUIN and flag up the fact that they believe there's a potential for someone feeling too nagged to do something. ANYONE could post PENGUIN if they felt there was a danger that suggestions were being enforced too much.

Similarly, if they want to discuss something that might be a trigger for some people, then posting PENGUIN would be a warning that what follows in the whiteout might be a trigger.


- So, if you think something might be a PENGUIN, please post something like the green bit which follows.

"Possible penguin about.........(Type of Trigger)" The trigger might be:- child abuse, marital abuse/violence, paranoia, stalkers, death, etc. (It's important to indicate the type of trigger, so that people can avoid reading it if they need to).

Then, when you post, repost the word PENGUIN above the discussion. Then post the penguiny bit in white! And the phrase END OF PENGUIN when you have finished.

It will look like this. You will be able to see the white text if you highlight it or if you quote it, (so please don't 'quote' a post containing a penguin onto the thread!)
(Harmless example follows here):-
PENGUIN

This is a penguin. A nasty, crotch biting penguin (CBP).
It isn't really! So you can look. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozGTv0hxhpc[/url]


END OF PENGUIN

(NB on a tenth-page repost of the etiquette, you can see these penguiny words because they are white against the green 'quote' background. On a normal post, they will be white against white, and so won't be seen on the thread.)

IMPORTANT: It has been ascertained that some posters to this thread have found that there are certain subjects which act as triggers, precipitating a worsening of their condition.
To protect these posters, you are respectfully requested NOT to discuss these subjects on this thread:-

Religion. (Please note: it is recognised that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and we respect those beliefs. It is only because of the fact that religion does act as a trigger for some posters, that we exclude it from discussion.)
N.B. Please don't even mention the name of the religion.

The afterlife. The reason for this is explained in this thread by one poster, and there will be others for whom this is a trigger.

We ask and thank you for your co-operation in this matter.


.........:starmod:.....................................................................:starmod:................

!!!So, to reiterate..............******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******

- More suggestions please.............We stress that we are suggesting that we AGREE some Thread Etiquette to HELP people who might feel anxious about posting, we are not trying to IMPOSE rules, just relating this to facilitating groups, so that people feel safe and able to participate as fully as they can.

...............Thread Motto...............
Nos Omnes Ad Audiendum Parumper

seven-day-weekend

Hi all, still lurking.

Sorry faerie that you are having such a bad time right now but glad you are able to take such positive action

WaS, your friend is right, that IS all you can do, awful as it is Hope you are now in a better place.

My husband is not too good at the moment with his anxiety, BUT he put some prints of his landscapes/seascapes on the FB site for where we have our static caravan and he has sold about ten!! So sorting all this out is actually very therapeutic and of course knowing that people want to buy them.

He is however, thinking again about 'the apocalypse' and collecting tinned food and taking other emergency measures for when it happens. Whilst I think this is a good idea in moderation (never hurts to have a storecupboard), I have to be really careful he doesn't get too obsessed with it. I just tell him when he is, and he does accept what I say (whilst not believing it).

Have as good a day as you can, everyone x

katiie

Thanks guys.
I think I'm doing this right, I'll keep it brief.

PENGUIN because it includes relationships and anxiety possible trigger.

Okay, I'm more annoyed with myself as again I didn't learn my lesson.

I've recently come out of a 2 year relationship (my decision) because it was making both me and him I'll staying.

I say learnt my lesson because now he has gone my friends have gone with him. This happened in my first relationship to.

In reality I'm glad they have gone as it shows who they were blah blah. I'm now left to start again trying to make friends which is hard enough because of my social anxiety which prevents me from interacting with people "normally," my age doesn't help either. I'm 25 and most people my age are either out drinking in clubs etc or going on drinking holidays. Don't get me wrong I'm not against drinking but can't handle those situations.

END OF PENGUIN

whitewing

Katiie,

As I was getting better, I found that internet threads were better than real life people in terms of emotional support. It would have been too much to expect of casual acquaintances and would have put new friends off.

As you feel lighter, newer friendships in real life will start to come more naturally, provided that you make the effort to go out in the world and let them (ie do new classes etc). Also, don't expect instant friendships when you do do something new.

codemonkey

Hi katiie. Welcome. The old losing custody of the friends in a breakup is something that's happened to everyone I think. Certainly happened to me - broke up with someone after he cheated on me and our friends decided he was more fun and dropped me. Nowadays I don't have many 'couple friends', my friends are just friends with me but not Mr CP and although I'm friendly with Mr CPs friends, they're not actual friends of mine, so should we split up, he keeps his friends and I keep mine. Did that make any sense? I am hung to the over.

So the party went OK. My costume was fabulous. Not very comfortable with posting a huge photo of me on here for the world to see but if you want to see it, PM me and I'll send a photo.

I have a dilemma. So as we all know from my constant whining, the new job is proving stressful. However, that's settled down a bit as I get more comfortable, but, the air con situation is causing pain, I have been in lots of pain for 3 weeks now, and although they've done their best to make it more comfortable for me, I'm still struggling and the combination of the pain and the painkillers dulling my brain is that I can't focus on learning the new job and I'm not picking anything up at all. So part of me thinks I should tough it out and the other part thinks that despite how humiliating it will be, that I should ask for my old job back in the non air-conditioned place as I'm not doing myself or them any favours by generally being useless. Any words of wisdom?

whitewing

code, please, please pm me your photo.

We are off to see ER this afternoon. I took littlewing to the park earlier so she should be worn out enough for the old folks home.

ER was in pain last time I saw her. They had not been putting her gel everywhere they should. It is really important that someone who knows them well keeps going in - too many times I have heard that the staff will pick things up. Yes, they do eventually but it is because we know her so well we can pick things up so much earlier to check.

elsien

Code - are there any more adjustments they can make? More working from home on a temporary basis, anywhere else you can sit or work?
I generally tend to the belief that going back is a mistake because the reasons that made you want to leave in the first place will usually still be there.
As we head towards colder weather is the heating system still going to be an issue - presumably it'll be less air conditioning and a bit more heat? Or is it any sort of draught? And how long is it till the potential office move - too long to wait?
Have you told the new people that you think the pain and the pain killers are affecting your performance?

calleyw

Evening my Lovelies,

I have been around reading since I got back on friday. Had a lovely time and ate and spent far to much I don't have oh well LOL!!!

Yesterday I did do a little bit in the garden. Got some weed fabric down. But before I can re-use the gravel have to sieve it has it has dirt and stuff in it.

I still have my lodger. But I swear I am not sure if he is just stupid or there is some more serious there or not.

Not sure if mentioned this before but he owns a lot of money and has taken out £3k in car finance but its ok its not a loan!!!! And he seems to be spending more and more time again with his ex!!!!

Anyway how hard is it to put recycling out. We have blue lidded bin that clearly states cardboard and plastic. So what do I find in it a radio alarm clock among other stuff that can't be put in it. He does not seem to get that it makes the bin and lorry contaminated.

Our local garden centre has opened its C word department. I think I will end up going about 3 times. once with a friend, once with husband and once with my mum LOL!!!!

Well hugs and handshakes and squishes all round. Hope you are feeling better today WaS.

Take care

Yours

Calley X