Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Izadora

Morning all and massive hugs to those who want/need them.

Code, could you please PM me a picture of your costume. It sounds fabulous and I'm glad you had an okay time.

I'm tireder than a very tired thing this morning. Working killed any chance of a lie in on Saturday and then I got a silent call at 7:45 yesterday. I was starting to panic, especially seeing as IzHe had been to a friend's party on Saturday and was staying there the night, when I got a text from the same number apologising for the fact that their son had got hold of their phone and managed to random dial me. It calmed me down a little bit but I still had a nagging worry that there was something wrong so there was no chance I was getting back to sleep. It meant I had time to bake lovely things and go to the cinema before going for lunch/dinner with IzHe and friends though.

If anyone needs me look for the steaming hot mug of coffee, I won't be far away from it!!

tea_lover

I'll be near Iz with the coffee...zzzz.....

Am annoyed at my sister again (this is definitely a recurring theme this year!) Yet again she's let me book leave from work then decided that she's not available for the things we had planned. She's done this a number of times this year now and it's getting VERY annoying.

We were supposed to be going out on either tues or thurs next week. I already had plans for Monday, and liked the idea of a break from work so booked the week off. Now apparently she can't make any of those days (she's not working). I know I can do other things with the time (like sleep!), but it's really hacked me off. At the moment I'm thinking I may as well keep Monday as leave and just go to work the rest of the time, otherwise I'm just wasting those days.

onomatopoeia99

While I have in the past booked time of work for the specific purpose of turning off the alarm and sleeping in :rotfl: it does sound like canceling some of the leave would be sensible unless you have stuff you particularly want to do. I find it frustrating being off work for more than a day and not achieving anything with the time.

Yesterday I spent digging in the garden to remove unwanted stuff, so am worn out today *yawns*.

Izadora

Tea, I'm not surprised you're annoyed by that. I might be badly mis-remembering this but does your sister also have a habit of making you feel bad for not seeing her enough?

Unless there are things that you can do instead or you've got a mountain of leave left I'd say you're probably best off cancelling it otherwise there's every chance you'll end up really resenting having wasted it if there's something you want to do at a later date but haven't got the leave to be able to do it.

Have you tried to tell her how unfair it is that she's treating your life and time as though they're unimportant and that she can't expect you to organise your time around her anymore if she's going to be that unreliable? I know it's a lot easier said than done but she should know how out of order she's being.

Pyxis

Code....:T :T :T :T
Beeeee - ooooooo - tifullllllllllllll!

The wonderfullest squid in the ocean!

I hope there weren't any other squids there - even if there were, I bet you were the bestestest!


Do tell us more about the do! Were there fun things going on?



By the way, where did you get the wig? I need a deep red wig, a similar one, for a thing I'm doing quite soon.



Am in bed with a chest infection.

whitewing

I planned to do paperwork today, but somehow find myself sitting with a glass of alcohol, wrapping up C-word presents and greatly enjoying myself while I suspend adulthood.

I have stashed enough through the year that the stocking is sorted for littlewing and mostly sorted for DS (who is far too old for a stocking but insists he ought to have one to not destroy the magic for his sister).

None of us have much money this year, but we are working from a wish list so everyone is getting something they need but a prettier version or better value version (looking out for special offers). Littlewing is so excited about xmas already. Her eyes sparkle.

faerielight

Thanks Tea for te hugs.. sending some cyber ones back.
WW I call it the C word too.. not my fave time of the year! thanks for the reply, I guess with your work, I don't know what your line of work is , but I guess they given you a clear boundary. I think maybe I needed that with the agency, but I think because I'm the 'service user' they can't really but I would have appreciated some guidance.
I feel a bit better, I had a double does of support today.. I've been asking my keyworker for ages if I can have it weekly til I stablilse, but she always said no, but today she has agreed to it and I feel relieved, and a tony bit more hopeful that I will have a chance to work on some of my BPD stuff. She has also agreed to contact the agency to explain what BPD is like and also to support me getting my care in the evening so that it doesn't creep back down.
The carer was back this eve, it's such a rollercoaster, we both managed to keep to chit chat which was a lot less stressful, but I still don't feel like it's a workable situation really. I had no message from the manager, I was dreading one, so maybe the carer didnt tell her our conversation, I don't know.
I hope I don't come accross to anyone that I'm blaming any of this on her.I just think that sending 2 people who are ill with siilar issues was not a good idea s we were bound to trigger each other as it was like looking into a mirror. I want to understand my side of things, as to why, I can set boundaries, but if the other loses theirs, then I loose myine and I become unable to stand my ground.

Something did demoralise me, I called the disability charity that direct payments goes through, I asked if people ever get any direct payments for mental health, or can you advertise ofr someone who has a basic awareness of mental health and she really snapped at me, and she said to me how do I think I will ever be able to be an employer with mental illness and it did upset me, as that is ultimately what I think will give me back a sense of control and autonomy, rather than being at the mercy of the confinement of a care agency. I drove there today and I asked if I could make an appnt to go over the whole direct payments thing, but I said that I didn't want to see the lady I spoke to, as I don't want to rule it out before I know the full picture, but she seemed a bit funny with me, so I now regret that. I'm too impulsive for my own good.

After that, I went to the trauma therapist and it was a really good session. I think it will be a good therapeutic relationship. I feel comfortable with her, she seems to be very skilled . I just wish I clicked with my key worker, but the rapport isn't there. I really hope by having it weekly for a bit, I start to feel differently, but t's been 4 months, and I still feel that the rapport is missing. Don't get me wrong, I am really lucky to have noth at the mo, but hey ho, I think erven if you don't have a rapport, there is still stuff to be learnt.

mellymoo74

Elsien
Clear some pm''s please........
X

jobbingmusician

faerielight wrote: »

Something did demoralise me, I called the disability charity that direct payments goes through, I asked if people ever get any direct payments for mental health, or can you advertise ofr someone who has a basic awareness of mental health and she really snapped at me, and she said to me how do I think I will ever be able to be an employer with mental illness and it did upset me, as that is ultimately what I think will give me back a sense of control and autonomy, rather than being at the mercy of the confinement of a care agency. I drove there today and I asked if I could make an appnt to go over the whole direct payments thing, but I said that I didn't want to see the lady I spoke to, as I don't want to rule it out before I know the full picture, but she seemed a bit funny with me, so I now regret that. I'm too impulsive for my own good.

Don't regret asking for a different person. This is simply appalling, and anyone who works for a disability charity should know better. Of COURSE people with MHP are just as entitled to a direct payments, or a personal budget, as anyone else is!

(Sounds like the local authority I work in. Hardly anyone has a personal budget for mental health, in my experience, although they do talk about PBs with fine words.... )

Actually I think it's really difficult. It seems to me appalling that people who are ill, and so qualify for DP/PB, suddenly need loads of expertise to meet the really complicated legal requirements of being an employer. But the only alternative seems to be being in thrall to a (probably horribly underpaid) agency, as you are. But of course there is no reason why someone with MHP should be less entitled to DP than anyone with any other sort of illness.

Pyxis

faerielight wrote: »

I feel a bit better, I had a double dose of support today.. I've been asking my keyworker for ages if I can have it weekly til I stablilse, but she always said no, but today she has agreed to it and I feel relieved, and a tony bit more hopeful that I will have a chance to work on some of my BPD stuff. She has also agreed to contact the agency to explain what BPD is like and also to support me getting my care in the evening so that it doesn't creep back down.

After that, I went to the trauma therapist and it was a really good session. I think it will be a good therapeutic relationship. I feel comfortable with her, she seems to be very skilled .

A couple of very positive things there, Faerie! :T That's good.