Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Waves_and_Smiles

Thinking of you and your mum today, Georgie.

Thinking of you too, Code. I hope today is better.

Well done on the turtle conversation, Pyxis! You get double points for that!

Thank you everyone, you are all correct. The hospital did say this will take Milliefleur a while to get over, I suppose what we are struggling with is the sudden change even from her being in hospital two weeks ago. Hopefully she just needs time but we are very worried. I did send her an enormous bunch of flowers and a big box of chocolates today.

I am going to penguin this bit because it is my honest emotions about her health and the future.

Pyxis, what you said about Milliefleur giving up is my deep down fear. She is 93 in November, that is a very long life. I am the last person to resent her if she has decided 93 years is long enough and she doesn't want to take part in the world anymore, I am certain she is aware that her health will only get worse from here. I am also sure she is scared and tired. WaSp will be heartbroken when she dies, they have always been extremely close so I am worried for him too. He avoids any discussion about her death although we obviously both know it isn't far away, he prefers not to even consider it.

Sometimes I think her family are the same. Since she has come home her sister is talking about getting her a brand new kitchen and new carpet for the living room (which she can't even see as she is almost blind), I am just thinking leave her be and let her spend her money on whatever she likes at this point, no matter how frivolous it seems. She loves flowers and chocolate, I would be making sure there were flowers everywhere and a huge box of chocolates next to her bed rather than planning what new freezer she should have and expecting her to choose one. WaSp was talking yesterday about helping to put in her new kitchen units next spring and I am just biting my tongue and accepting that her family need to think this way for their own sakes. I admit I get a bit frustrated with them all because at this point I would stop planning for more than a few weeks ahead and let her have whatever she wants in the present.

I feel like they are all running away from the inevitable and Milliefleur is getting lost somewhere in the middle of that , she is exhausted as it is without thinking of builders working on her home. We don't even know if she will be able to live independently for much longer.

End Penguin

Izadora

Georgie - I hope all goes well with your mum today and I'm sure she'll be fine. I was worried about being claustrophobic when I had an MRI on my stomach but it was absolutely fine, the hardest thing was not laughing at some of the music they played me to drown out the sound of the machine - who wants to listen to Chesney Hawkes!!

Code - I'm sure today will be better. I know how badly organised we sometimes are with new starters and people must sometimes wonder what they've done by coming here but, despite how much I moan about it, it's actually not a bad place to work. I've been here 15 years so it can't be too terrible...

WaS - how you're feeling is totally understandable. I'm sure she'll love and appreciate the chocolate and flowers.

Pyxis - very well done!! Especially for being able to explain in Italian why you were saying it.

Hugs to all xx

Georgiegirl256

Izadora wrote: »

Georgie - I hope all goes well with your mum today and I'm sure she'll be fine. I was worried about being claustrophobic when I had an MRI on my stomach but it was absolutely fine, the hardest thing was not laughing at some of the music they played me to drown out the sound of the machine - who wants to listen to Chesney Hawkes!!

Me! I love that song! :rotfl:

She was so nervous this morning. She never usually is regarding medical procedures, I've never seen her like this before.

With me, it isn't so much the procedures that bother me, but what the results will show, and that's why I worry....my stomach is churning so bad

Thanks WaS Totally understandable you feel that way. When my Dad was ill and would say things about events in the future, I couldn't help thinking along similar lines to you, and I felt so bad and negative and that I jinxed things (I am NOT saying that you are, please don't think that, just my way of thinking at the time , but I realised that people think that way, planning for the future, looking positive etc because it's their way of dealing with things and it gives them hope. I am also very much in the same way of thinking as you, just give her what she wants now.

Hope today is better for you code

whitewing

Builders around us have an 8 week lead time at least at the moment.

Sounds like you all have different needs (which is normal).

Maybe millefleur trusted the hospital to look after her and felt that it was their job so she felt more confident about having a go.

Or maybe there is more chance to quieten down and sleep at home and she is simply wrung out.

I'd only worry if she doesn't look forward to Christmas. Up until Dec I would think she is just getting used to her lesser mobility.

Flowers is lovely, WaS. What a kind person you are.

elsien

Interesting segment on this morning's radio (woman's hour) about a women's mental health service as opposed to one that just has women patients.

Not sure if I need to penguin but can't on my phone so I'll leave a big gap. Mentions abuse and suicide.
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As in, apparently a very high percentage of women with acute MH needs have abuse in their past, so it was talking about the impact of being checked during the night by male staff. For example. The figures surprised me, as did the knowledge that there is a higher suicide rate among men than women.

Waves_and_Smiles

Penguin reply to elsien

There has always been a higher suicidal rate among men than women, it was the same back when I was working. From a psychologists point of view it is thought to be that even today there is a belief that "big boys don't cry" so where a woman may ask for help or confide in their friends when distressed men are far less likely to do so amongst themselves. There was a study I read years ago that said men who have sisters and female friends are less likely to suicide than those who have all brothers and purely male friends, men are often reluctant to share vulnerability with each other. This has always been something that needs to be worked on throughout society, it is very sad.

End penguin

jobbingmusician

Hello all! Sorry to be so quiet - I was away at the weekend and haven't stopped running since!

WaS - you need to tell bubbly bulldozer NOW about Millefleur. My theory is that she may be dehydrated, or be in pain, and have a personality change because of that. Please nag everyone you can to pay her attention!

Yes, I heard the women's hour thing as well and immediately started thinking about gender specific services and how to plan them. Castles in the air, unfortunately!

*waves to Pyxis* - have a great holiday!

Squishes to all! xxxxx

onomatopoeia99

WaS, I agree with everything in your penguin. That phrase was used to me by teachers at infants and primary school. Objectively I know better now, but that doesn't help very much. Showing vulnerability to other people is still really difficult.

mellymoo74

codemonkey

Today, I cried in the toilets, spent all afternoon trying not to cry again and then cried immediately when I got home.