Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello Studentcarer, what a worry for you, you must feel very overwhelmed. First of all is your mother receiving all the benefits she should? Is she claiming PIP? ESA? ESA is a passport benefit that can open the door to other financial help if your mother is receiving income based, even more so if she is in the Support Group. Flats in London are very expensive, I used to rent there myself so I know how ridiculous it is. Could your mother pay anything towards the cost? If she receives a passport benefit she may be able to claim LA towards rent and Council Tax benefit which in turn would help both of you.

I would recommend a trip to Citizens Advice to make sure you are claiming all you can and to see what help is available for you both. You could also call Shelter who are very helpful in reference to accommodation, especially in London. It takes a while to get through but it is worth it. As far as furnishings a flat there are charities that will help, one helped me furnish my flat for silly prices like £10 for a second hand but really good sofa. Again, ask CAB about this.

I really admire you for wanting to study and care for your mother. Please keep posting and offload here as much as you need to. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Georgiegirl256

Sorry to hear about millefleur WaS I think tea has got it spot on. A big operation like that (and especially at her age) is a massive thing, and her lack of mobility etc is bound to be affecting her both mentally and physically. Here's hoping she perks up soon x

Georgiegirl256

Will penguin this next bit as it's about medical issues and procedures

So, my Mam has had this lump below her ear for quite a while now. She's had tests, scans etc and they've found nothing wrong. Lately her hearing hasn't been as good, so they thought it might be connected to that, but a hearing test points to it just being old age.

Anyhow, she got an appointment through the other week which she thought was to fit her hearing aid, but it wasn't, it was another check up n that lump, and they also put a camera up her nose. With that they found a lump up her nose and so started to wonder if the two lumps were connected in some way and so they organised a CT scan.

Well, of course when I heard this, I got myself in a bit of a state and started to think the worst. I started to think back to when my Dad was ill and what he and we went through, and started panicking.

The scan is tomorrow, and I'm terrified.

Penguin end.

elsien

WaS, I think sometimes when people have been in a protective bubble - in hospital, respite, or whatever, with no pressure to do anything, no need to plan the practicalities, they lose confidence in themselves and it's much more of an effort to go back to the old routine. People become used to being "looked after" and even though they might say they want to be independent, their actions might indicate otherwise.
Millefleure needs time, but I also think mentioning it to your SW if it carries on might be a sensible idea. Are any of her club people willing and able to do visits to her at home, even if they're just short ones?

codemonkey

Penguin reply Georgie
Try not to worry. A lump doesn't always mean something bad. It may be just a small thing. The important thing is to be there for your mum and not worry too much about losing her. You'll know more soon. Is there something you can do tonight to take your mind off it a bit?
End penguin

WaS, I second (third? Fourth?) what everyone else has said about telling the social workers. Millefleur doesn't intend to be harmful but she is being that way and you both need to be protected.

First day was rubbish. Hope tomorrow is better.

elsien

First days can be horrible, Code. Had the odd one myself but the job turned out alright in the end. Hope tomorrow's better for you.

Georgiegirl256

Thanks code I'm trying to watch some tv etc but just can't concentrate. I just worry, especially after what happened with my Dad. I know it's a different person, different thing, but still, I can't help it. Poor thing is so nervous of going in the machine as she gets clostrophobic. She said if she can't face it then she's not going in.

Sorry to hear your first day was rubbish. Any particular reason? Obviously if you don't want to say you don't have to of course I suppose in the early days you'll be comparing things to your old job, and so things might seem bad (even though your other job was bad), but hopefully they'll start to improve soon

codemonkey

CT shouldn't be too claustrophobic if it's just her head. I had one a few years ago and I stood up while the cameras whizzed about but aside from the cameras it was all open. It wasn't like an MRI where you have to go into the tube.

People seemed OK, everything felt really positive at first but then there was no computer for me and everyone was too busy to show me stuff and I just spent the afternoon awkwardly sitting at an empty desk by myself, trying to look busy. It was just miserable. And I don't think the job is going to involve much of the stuff I thought it would so that makes me a bit sad. I guess once I'm fully up and running it will be a bit better but I just felt lost.

Georgiegirl256

It's understandable you felt lost, everything will feel so alien to you right now. Hope tomorrow is a lot better for you.

:rotfl: at my spelling of claustrophobic lol! I knew it was wrong, but I just didn't care! I'm usually not bad at spelling, but I just couldn't think how it went!

Pyxis

WaS, re. MIL, the first thing is that, don't forget, she's had a major physical trauma, and by that I mean the op.
That takes some getting over.

Secondly, she will have been on very strong painkillers, probably morphine-based, and if she is no longer on them, or on less, she may even be experiencing a withdrawal effect manifesting as depression.

Plus, she is extremely old, and will not get over a serious op in anything like the same way way as someone who's even 70.

There is also the sad possibility that due to the latter, she may be starting to 'give up'.








Code, you will gradually start to find your feet. Not sure why they've employed you and then not given you a computer, though, seeing as how your work is , erm, computers. That does not compute!

On another note, you have cause to feel very proud of your fellow Turtle-Club member, because I have said, to a native, ja niejsam kornjača, which means......guess! In Montenegrin!

It was funny, because I said it to a lady who couldn't speak English, but knowing that a lot of Montenegrins speak Italian, I asked her if she spoke it and she did, more or less, so I was able to explain to her in Italian, why I was not a turtle! :rotfl:

I am picking up a few basic words in Montenegrin.....just the usual sort of stuff, but it's something!


Yey! Go me!


Must go sleepy-byes now.........me very tired!