📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

12952962983003011136

Comments

  • Waves_and_Smiles
    Waves_and_Smiles Posts: 5,263 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 14 June 2016 at 3:00PM
    Penguin to Lambyr I do think you will see some positive progress in your lifetime Lambyr, things have changed so much in the last 30 years. When I was in a relationship with a woman we could really only show affection to each other in our designated places such as gay clubs and pubs. We had it slightly easier than our gay male friends who had to be very careful because society expected woman to hold arms going down the street and hug sometimes, our male friends couldn't do that at all and it was dangerous for them to express how they felt.

    The phraseology at the time was horrid with jokes about 'gay-bashing' everywhere and it was very much seen as a sexual perversion rather than loving relationships. I grew up with many people believing someone chose (yes, chose) to be gay for the sex, not that you could actually fall in love with someone who was the same sex.

    Even some of my closest female friends wouldn't join me when I had lesbian friends visiting in case my friends were attracted to them which they found disgusting. I lived a double life for a while, appearing completely straight with one group of friends and open with my gay friends. Sadly, that was pretty much the norm back then for a lot of us, it was common for us to ask each other if our other friends knew before we met them so that we knew whether to discuss it in front of them or not.

    I know I felt a lot of shame when I accepted that I was bisexual because it was seen as wrong across the board, I used to feel like I had to keep it hidden and it could really influence things like whether you were offered jobs back then. It is still a struggle for young people to come out but it is better than it was, so progress has come quite a long way even though it has a long way to go.

    Many of my friends were beaten up, named called and spat at for being gay after leaving night clubs, it wasn't even publicised back then because it was just something everyone knew could happen. I remember a man spitting on my girlfriend and I whilst calling us ugly que.ers, all we had done was walk hand in hand out of a club. It wasn't a hate crime back then, we just had to get on with it and be very careful at all times.

    Then HIV was recognised and things became even worse. It put any progress made far, far back to what it was. When I was working as an HIV therapist I spent so much time trying to help people cope with the hatred and fear others showed, suddenly people didn't see being gay as just disgusting but also as life threatening. Hate crime went through the roof and one was forced to keep one's sexuality even more hidden. It took over a decade to get back to where we were previously.

    Don't lose heart though, things are improving slowly and are much better than they used to be. I truly believe you will see far more acceptance in your lifetime but at the same time I know what an uphill struggle it is and how insurmountable it feels sometimes. Big hugs for you and E.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • Happy happy birthday Solar!
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    Ooh happy birthday SJ! :D:D
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 7,171 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tea_lover wrote: »
    Yes, as Pyxis says, we (as a society) are getting there.... but it doesn't feel like it at times. I was so happy when gay marriage became legal, it just staggers me that it took so long. How can anyone else's marriage have an impact on anyone else (if that makes any sense - ie. if I was married, and the rest of the world was married/not married/gay/straight/in relationships with micro pigs or whatever, it wouldn't have the slightest impact on my marriage).

    I completely agree with you, I'm a long standing supporter of equal marriage, which we now almost have, so was delighted when the law was finally changed to the way it should have been when civil partnerships were introduced.

    That said, in the lead up to it, there were plenty of prominent figures in the CofE and other Christian faiths (and some other religions as well) on the news and in the print media stating that marriage is the union between a man and a woman and they opposed the legislation for this reason, wanted exemptions so they wouldn't have to perform ceremonies and so on. While I knew they didn't speak for everyone, the message didn't effectively get out that there are plenty of people that supported equality in marriage within the churches that they led.


    More generally, I feel that people as a whole are more accepting and tolerant than a generation ago. Perhaps not so much in the older generation who use the Internet less or not at all, but in general the greater availability of information and exposure to different ways of living it provides I feel helps to promote understanding of the differences between us all, rather than the fear of what we don't understand (or perhaps I just hope for some kind of utopia of understanding and acceptance, I don't know!)
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • I agree, ono it is much,much better than it was particularly in comparison to the early years when HIV was discovered. I threw myself into working on the frontline as an HIV therapist back then and the fear and hate my clients suffered was unbelievable. It was largely based on fear though, not so much people meaning to be horrible but people not understanding and thinking standing next to a gay person could give you HIV (I'm not even joking). Education worked there, it was slow progress but teaching people was the key to further acceptance and it likely still is.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    Thing is ono, there are many, many prominent vocal Christians shouting just that message. But that doesn't fit the media image so it doesn't get seen.

    In the same way that I'm sure the vast majority of muslims are absolutely appalled by any violence apparently carried out in the name of their religion - but again, that's not what the daily mail wants people to think so it's more of a struggle to get that point of view heard.

    The press really do have a lot to answer for in the way they seem insistent on spreading hate and division.
  • I agree with you tea, I met a lot of Christians, Muslims, all religions who have had no problem with gay and lesbian people at all. Again, back in the HIV days a lot of churches helped out the HIV charity I worked for without any judgement whatsoever.

    On a personal note Milliefleur is about as Christian as one could be and has been her whole life but has never judged me in the slightest despite knowing I am bisexual since the first year we met.

    We don't hear about those who accept though because that doesn't sell papers or keep us fighting one another while who knows what goes on in the background while we are occupied and don't notice. The media has always been to blame for increasing hatred going back decades, they have their own agenda sent down from above and it is rarely about acceptance and tolerance.

    I considered working in media psychology for a while and studied it in depth, it is very, very scary and manipulative and in the end I decided that I had far too many morals to consider it.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    Aargh - have got loads to do today and the database I need for absolutely all of it has stopped working. This does not help the already-lacking motivation!
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 14 June 2016 at 2:43PM
    Ok! We all need cheering up!

    Your next post has to be something funny! :rotfl:

    I'll kick off with these......


    4e1ca2df4eb3054a6e989a7ac9e0d462.jpg



    funny-cartoons-pics.jpg
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    #
    Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
    He would stop at nothing to avoid them.


    #
    What's the best thing about Switzerland?
    Not too sure, but the flag is a big plus.






    #
    After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

    “But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

    “I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.3K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 244.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 599.4K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.1K Life & Family
  • 257.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.