Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Lambyr

Fear is why I tried so hard for so long to not be gay.

I live in a "tolerant" city with a number of gay bars and clubs. There's still violence in that district. Some people go out of their way to harass others.

I've babbled on about my family before and their views.

All I can conclude is that some people's lives are so empty, so meaningless, that the only way they can give their life any meaning is to judge others.

PENGUIN (Bad language, terrorism)
I saw someone say after the attack in Belgium that every single person who was lost lived more in the five minutes before their passing than the indoctrinated, hate-filled tools lived in their entire life. That to live your life guided entirely by what someone else tells you is not living.

I doubt I'll ever be "out and proud" but if my happiness with another woman offends someone so much that they would see me dead... well, all I can say to them is get a f'ing life because it's your life that is empty, hollow and meaningless. Not mine.
END PENGUIN

System

Lambyr, you shouldnt ever feel like you have to try not be be gay Its who you are. And if people cannot accept that then the problem is not yours, its theirs.

It saddens me that people get abuse just for being who they are. You should never have to live in fear. To me, if someone is gay that does not affect my life at all. Al i want is my friends and loved ones to be happy. Be that woman, man, both, neither etc that makes them happy then go for it. Be who you are and love life. !!!! anyone who tells you different. :mad:

Torry_Quine

Penguin reply to Messed Up and Lambyr. As you know I am a Christian but I totally abhor the violence shown in Orlando at the weekend. I do not understand why someone can use their faith to justify killing someone for expressing love for someone of the same sex. I am not going to talk of my personal view on same-sex relationships as I don't think that is helpful here.

I am praying for those caught up in these terrible events. End penguin

Pyxis

Lambyr, well said.

System

Torry i understand it may go against certain religious beliefs, but you;re right, its not about that. It cannot be used to justify what happened, likewise ive seen reports his ex wife has said hes mentally ill and that too cannot be used to justify his actions

Lambyr

Sorry, I'll PENGUIN the whole thing... I don't know how much of this may or may not be a trigger but !!!!!exuality/lesbianism, hatred... rambling.

I do hope that one day everyone is free to be themselves, but I doubt it will happen in my lifetime.

There's still too much tribalism in the world, with people fashioning artificial constructs to order the world as they see fit; determining that anything outside the walls they have built is somehow a threat of sorts.

I don't feel comfortable sharing affection with E in public, because I know that there are still many with negative feelings towards lesbians and I don't want to risk the time we spend together being marred by some uncouth troglodyte loudly voicing his/her unwelcome opinion.

It's sad really. If someone dislikes my same-sex relationship, it shouldn't matter. I'm not inviting them to participate or watch (although I dare say if I did, some of those who are anti would suddenly become very interested... :whistle:).

I've had relationships with men. I've never felt like they were something special. I've never loved a man and I've never been upset when a relationship ended, except with my last boyfriend and that wasn't because the relationship itself ended but because I felt bad because I couldn't be the girlfriend he deserved.

I do love E though, and I probably always have. I've always missed her when I haven't been able to see her for a while, I've always been jealous when she's been in a relationship. I couldn't see her this weekend because she's poorly, and I missed her so I've sent her some flowers and chocolates and I know since she was here on Weds night, I'm almost certainly going to be getting whatever lurgy she's got and I don't care, even if sick me leads to an inherently embarrassing problem that even penguining would be TMI! :rotfl:

And people hate me for this?

Honestly, as much as some will blame religion for this, I'll blame governments and the media for using fear as a form of social conditioning. Fear is a cheap but effective tactic at getting and maintaining power and selling ideologies, but the consequence is that fear also breeds hatred and when your fears are directed at the "different", the "different" become the victims of hatred. And when you've got some loud public figures spouting their hate-filled rhetoric, you'll find those most susceptible to fear feel somehow more justified for their hate.

I dunno though, I'm rambling. Thing is, I guess, if someone had offered me a "fix" a year ago... a magical solution where I would be 100% straight and where I'd never have a "gay" thought ever again, I'd have taken it.

Offer me that today, and no, I won't. I'm happy... for the first time in my entire life I am in a healthy, romantic relationship and I am with someone I actually love. And if that somehow offends someone else, then I'm sorry, genuinely, but why should their happiness trump mine? I'm not hurting anyone... and honestly, I can't think of anything more gay than a woman getting upset about what I do with my body, or a man getting upset about what another man does with his. Seriously, I can happily go without thinking about what anyone else gets up to in the bedroom... baffles me that others can't!

END PENGUIN

Torry_Quine

Lambyr I think you are an amazing daughter, girlfriend and all round person and I wish you happiness in all you do.

tea_lover

Yes, as Pyxis says, we (as a society) are getting there.... but it doesn't feel like it at times. I was so happy when gay marriage became legal, it just staggers me that it took so long. How can anyone else's marriage have an impact on anyone else (if that makes any sense - ie. if I was married, and the rest of the world was married/not married/gay/straight/in relationships with micro pigs or whatever, it wouldn't have the slightest impact on my marriage).

One thing that really saddens me is when intolerance is seen to be the same thing as religion I'm a Christian and have been my entire life. I go to church every week and am very involved in church life (just to give a bit of background there). I've never been the slightest bit interested in what other people do in their relationships (same sex or otherwise, it's just none of my business). I can honestly say that I've never heard a church leader/vicar, etc. express anything other than acceptance. Yet all you hear in the media is that all churches are against gay marriage - which is such a shame as a huge amount of us are all in favour and are just waiting for the legalities to catch up. I have every confidence that that won't be far behind.

Solarjunkie

I'd like to invite you all to join me in the fort where I will be serving elderflower cordial, a local speciality, deliciously refreshing on this hot June day and totally free of allergens, calories, gluten, and everything else that people have to avoid!
Those of you who like it cooler, enjoy the actual weather, but for me the sunlover, I'd like a bit of yellow on my birthday please! It is a virtual fort, so I'm sure the weather can be tweaked a bit. Meanwhile, I have already had a good laugh, I have had a picture of a birthday card, sent from a friend who took it on holiday but forgot to post it. I guess that's a virtual card! Enjoy your day everyone.

Pyxis

Happy Birthday
Solarjunkie!




I really like elderflower cordial, so cheers!