Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Lambyr

Pyxis wrote: »

No need to 'hate to say it'. It's true and makes me livid! :mad:

Makes me rather angry too. I'm a carer almost all day, every day - a lot more than 35 hours per week.

That some bumface (nicest thing I can write...) would fraudulently claim the little amount of money we get for a day a week winds me up.

It's guff like that which is why I'm treated as a second-class, dole-dossing layabout by people who don't care to find out what it is I actually have to do.

/rantover, sorry I'm not fond of your BiL, WaS. You're lovely though

calleyw

I was a carer and worked full time. Not my choice but had to keep a roof over our heads. As had a mortgage and husband did not get the correct DLA for me to claim carers.

According to my Dr's surgery because I don't claim carers allowance I was not a carer and could not have a free flu jab.

My argument is that I come in more contact with people everyday than a carer who was at home. As I dealt with couriers and had colleagues who had children. So more likely to pick up bugs.

But thats life.

Yours

Calley

Pyxis

Lambyr wrote: »

Makes me rather angry too. I'm a carer almost all day, every day - a lot more than 35 hours per week.

That some bumface (nicest thing I can write...) would fraudulently claim the little amount of money we get for a day a week winds me up.

It's guff like that which is why I'm treated as a second-class, dole-dossing layabout by people who don't care to find out what it is I actually have to do.

/rantover, sorry I'm not fond of your BiL, WaS. You're lovely though

BiL's got a long history (see other threads) of doing very little except drinking himself into a stupor on the carer allowance. Even when he was going there more often, he did very little, and WaSp was still having to go up there a lot.
He even didn't want MiL to go into hospital when she was very ill in case he lost his allowance, and didn't want her to have care visits for the same reason.

In fact, it was due to his negligence that she ended up in hospital, if I remember correctly.

faerielight

Cally and Pyxis.. The support worker told us that she's a psychotherapist in her other job and feels embarrassed when her tummy rumbles during sessions, so a lady service user sitting next to me, started telling us that she is on the waiting list for gastro surgery, I asked her,what it was, and she said it was a polyp on her bowel, and Sympathised, and said that I'd had a lot of bowel surgery, and the worker told me off for the subject matter of bowel surgery, and that it was ruining the vibe of people getting their names done.. I got told off, but not the lady who started the convo. I felt really rubbish after that and wanted the ground to swallow me up, for having non existent boundaries. I think the worker was wise to stop it, as she could probably sense I could have gone into my hospital trauma rant , but she could have been more tactful the way she told me off, I think, seeing as it was my 1st week.. She could have gently reminded me of the rules.

Pyxis

faerielight wrote: »

Cally and Pyxis.. The support worker told us that she's a psychotherapist in her other job and feels embarrassed when her tummy rumbles during sessions, so a lady service user sitting next to me, started telling us that she is on the waiting list for gastro surgery, I asked her,what it was, and she said it was a polyp on her bowel, and Sympathised, and said that I'd had a lot of bowel surgery, and the worker told me off for the subject matter of bowel surgery, and that it was ruining the vibe of people getting their names done.. I got told off, but not the lady who started the convo. I felt really rubbish after that and wanted the ground to swallow me up, for having non existent boundaries. I think the worker was wise to stop it, as she could probably sense I could have gone into my hospital trauma rant , but she could have been more tactful the way she told me off, I think, seeing as it was my 1st week.. She could have gently reminded me of the rules.

Yes, I see.
I can understand why you were upset.
As you say, there are ways of being told these things.

Did your nails look nice?

System

Lambyr wrote: »

Makes me rather angry too. I'm a carer almost all day, every day - a lot more than 35 hours per week.

That some bumface (nicest thing I can write...) would fraudulently claim the little amount of money we get for a day a week winds me up.

It's guff like that which is why I'm treated as a second-class, dole-dossing layabout by people who don't care to find out what it is I actually have to do.

/rantover, sorry I'm not fond of your BiL, WaS. You're lovely though

Lambyr and Calley,

I don't think carers are apprciated enough, i'd wager the maority do it not for (the meagre amount of) money, but because they either love and care about the person they are caring for. That kind of care would cost the goverment a hell of a lot more money if people didn't sacrifice themselves to do the caring themselves. It annoys me that people see someone whos a carer as just being "on benefits" and lump it in with everyone else. its so unfair. You do a wonderful and amazing job, and get such a hard time from people

Pyxis, WaS' BiL is a shame to the system, he makes everyone who is a carer look bad :mad: how dare he claim to care for Millefluer when he's just spending his time !!!!ed up on the money he wrongfully receives (sorry WaS, dont mean to talk bad of him but he's angered me for putting you in this situation)

faerielight

It's funny cos my keyworker said when I met her last friday that because BPDers have trouble with boundaries, they may need to be gently reminded of the rules, but she promised that it would be dealt with sensitively and assured me that noone would get told off ! I did feel singled out, as the lady that brought it up wasn't told off, and the worker said it really loudly so the whole group could hear, and that was embarrassing.
My nails did look nice, though Pyxis, .. I've never had my nails painted before

calleyw

MU,

You are indeed correct. Being a carer for a family member is done for love. And anyone who does it full time is a Angel.

My husband could be left on his own but I really did not like doing it. And being serious I use to look on the way home to see if there was any smoke coming from the direction of my house. As I was so scared he would burn down or blow it up.

I use to say that working was my respite :rotfl:but I was always dreading what I would find when I got home. And if you are working the amount of unpaid time I had to take because of appointments. I lost a lot of money. But had to take it on the chin.

Being a working and a non working carer throws up different challenges. Would not say either is easy.

I would never codon violence in any shape or form. But I totally see why a carer would snap. I would never had to personal care. also what annoys me a lot, it always seems to be the daughters that take on the caring role for parents.

Thats my little rant over :rotfl:

Just bought some cupcakes from sainsburys. And I love sweet stuff but even for me the icing is way to sweet.

Yours

Calley

faerielight

. sorry, ignore my post.. off the beaten track! I'm overtired.. going to say night night guys x

whitewing

If you are anything like me, faerie, it doesn't matter if someone reminded me of the rules in icing on a cupcake with sprinkles, I'd still be mortified and worse.

I am so glad though that you can share your Bordy School experience with us.