Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

My Italian friend is coming to visit me next month, for a week . Normally she'll visit for a weekend once a year or so and she was only here in March, but she was completely knocked sideways by something in her personal life last month and is really unhappy, so I said I'd take some time off work so she could come and stay for longer if she wanted some time away from home and company.. Hopefully I'll be able to cheer her up a bit.

Ooh! Ono! Lots of lovely Italian practice! I'm quite jealous!

(Is there a jealous emoticon?)

calleyw

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Oh and yes, BIL is still getting carers allowance for his one day visit per week.

Hate to say this but that is fraud. As to get Carers you have to be caring for the person for a min of 35 hrs a week.

Yours

calley

Pyxis

calleyw wrote: »

Hate to say this but that is fraud. As to get Carers you have to be caring for the person for a min of 35 hrs a week.

Yours

calley

No need to 'hate to say it'. It's true and makes me livid! :mad:

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

No need to 'hate to say it'. It's true and makes me livid! :mad:

Don't get me started on it. And when you have people like WaS,MU and my husband who clearly are unable to work or struggle and can only work part time and they have to jump through hoops to get meager benefits.

Don't ever go to the benefit boards as it will make you go :mad::mad:. I did not know until recently that income replacement paid via an insurance plan does not count as income. So you can still claim contribution ESA, child tax credits, free prescriptions and could be getting stupid amounts of income.

Personally I would be embarrassed to take out the system in a situation like that. I get £300 a month and claim nothing not even help with my council tax or my prescriptions. When husband and I where together we where entitled to tax credits but did not claim them as we could manage on what we getting.

Anyway enough whinging.

Hope everyone has had a good day.

Yours

Calley

faerielight

It's been a good, but challenging 1st week at the MH centre.. Everyone has been so welcoming, and the support groups have been great, but it has highlighted how much healing and work I need to do on myself. Yesterday I didn't have the best boundaries when I got my nails painted there at a pamper group and I quite rightly got told off. I wanted to run away, but I made myself go back today.. My dynamics are def going to get challenged, but I welcome it, although it will be hard too. I've been so shut away in my flat and in hospital for so long, I've lost the ability to chit chat with strangers, and I've realised how bad my social phobia is. I think because I'm challenging my comfort zone, my anxiety has been worse than ever, but I did expect that, so all's good.

It's been tiring suddenly being busy. My m.e is not great, and I have terrible insomnia, but I have faith that things will right themselves, and I am proud of myself for having the courage to engage with the centre .. It's all going to take time, but I've very glad that this place exists, and that it is a safe space.

Pyxis

Why did you get told off? :huh:

System

Pyxis wrote: »

Code, would you be up for writing her a long letter, saying what you've said in your post, with lots of kindness and hugs? And ending with " I want my friend back"?
It could be your chance to help her. If she takes no notice, at least you've tried. At least she'll know that you don't want to spend money you can't afford on things you don't like, but that, more importantly, you're worried that she's getting herself into an impossible situation, financially, and you're seriously worried about her.
Then follow it up with a visit when you're sure she'll have received it and give her a big hug?



Oh WaS, I was worrying that you were so quiet. :A
No worries, take all the time you need. We know you'll be hovering, so we'll be talking to you too!







Oooh! Will you be going to BoggleHole? I like BoggleHole! And you can walk into Scarborough from there, along the beach!

How lovely about the knitted pig! What a lovely, thoughtful mum!

(He should have sued for custody of the Pig when he split with his ex! :rotfl::rotfl:)

I've been to Bogglehole before!! I went on a school trip in year 6, we stayedin a youth hostel, lovely little place I think it might be Bridlington on sunday which excites me as i've never been.

He did message his ex in the hope of getting the original pig back but got no response!

Pyxis

Pyxis wrote: »

Ooh! Ono! Lots of lovely Italian practice! I'm quite jealous!

(Is there a jealous emoticon?)

Yes!









Yes, MessedUp! Bridlinton's very nice too!

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

Why did you get told off? :huh:

I was wondering that as well.

Yours

calley

System

Solarjunkie wrote: »

What about a lodger? Something like a student nurse or social worker who would like reasonably priced accommodation on the understanding that s/he provides some company and maybe a bit of cooking? So benefiting both parties.

WaS, I remember reading about something similar to this: http://homeshare.org/faq/

That kind of arrangement would mean Millefluer gets company and some care.

But obviously the big ssue is she doesn;t want people she doesn't know caring for her, but would this angle be any better as you could try and make her see its more about a)having someone around and b)in turn giving them a pace to live? BiL actions make me seethe with anger :mad: he's letting down Millefluer and hes putting you and WaSP in an impossible situation.

Also as far as your BPD reaction goes, i would probably have reacted the same of not worse (i do have features of BPD, that was my original diagnosis before i had mania and got diagnosed with bipolar). Try not to feel too bad about it. You were upset and said something in the heat of the moment, you didn't mean it, it was just your fear of losing WaSP that triggered it. And the fact that you were able to rationalie things and calm down in 20 mins os actually pretty damn amazing. I know sometimes you might not feel in control of your illnesses but you certainly have some great ways to cope with them.