Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

I'm not sure what to label this penguin.... I suppose at heart it's just big old rant about pregnancy, with lots of other whinging thrown in for good measure!

This is completely my own fault, as I really REALLY shouldn't be reading the pg threads. I have no idea why I do read them so much! For some reason have got really wound up about all the talk of hiding not drinking, swapping bottles over, mythical infections, etc. It's not even the pg aspect that's getting to me so much as the idea that no one could possibly enjoy themselves without drinking. That view just really gets my goat! Why on earth should someone have to lie or make excuses about not wanting to drink.
I very rarely drink these days (maybe 2 or 3 times a year) and absolutely do not feel the need to make excuses about that, or pretend that I am drinking! The whole thing just seems utterly ridiculous to me.
End of today's most ridiculous penguin :(

Pyxis

This is a good link. It's a short blog about artists using cartoons and illustrations to lift the lids on mental health problems.



https://about.futurelearn.com/blog/best-cartoonists-capture-mental-health/?utm_source=FL_DB&utm_medium=crm&utm_campaign=18_05_2016_FL_newsletter



Here's an example......

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

Would also definitely second the suggestions of reviewing all outgoings. I think I'm pretty careful but whenever I check there's always something that's crept into the budget! Although I'm sure you've already done this x.


Hang in there xx.

I must admit that when I was in the position of imminent no income, although it was scary to do an incomings/outgoings review, it did also
A) Give me a sense of achievement, taking a bit of the fright out of the situation
Enabled me to see exactly where I could and couldn't make savings
C) Put me in control of the situation.

I also took advantage of the no-work time to have a serious sort-out and take the surplus to carboots, raising a bit of cash that way. I also asked friends if they had anything they were chucking out that I could take to sell, as well as anything I could sell for them on a 50:50 basis.
(This was a long time ago, in case any of you are wondering! )

Another useful thing is to have a family 'meeting' and explain that things might be tight for a bit, but that everyone has to muck in and help and not moan, as to have their support would be very helpful indeed, and to ask them if they have any suggestions.

Also, to find out all the free activities in your area, talks, exhibitions, walks, etc and take advantage of them in between job-hunting, so as not to feel deprived , but also as a way to do productive things during a temporary spell of 'leisure'. Think of it as a temporary 'retirement', to explore your local area and find out what's out there. This would also be something you could put on your CV, to show how you can make a positive situation out of a temporary hiatus between jobs.

Pyxis

Tea, I totally agree with you!

I never drink when I'm out, and haven't done for several years, now. I find I enjoy myself more with a clear head, don't go flushed and hot, don't say anything stupid, (or no more stupid than usual!), and save quite a bit of money!
(For clarification, I do drink some types of alcohol, but not wines, and not when I'm out).

People only try to persuade non-drinkers to drink, because they know that deep down, it's not a wonderful thing to do, so they want you to conform.

Perhaps it's the circles I move in, but I've never found that people find me strange, or question it, or keep trying to persuade me. If they were to, I'd just keep telling them I don't like it until they shut up! If they did find me strange, they can bog off!

Let's face it. If you had a guest and you offered them a cup of coffee, and they said no thanks, because they didn't like coffee, would you keep on and on at them, saying "Go on, have a cup, just one cup, one won't hurt! Why don't you like it, everyone likes coffee!" Of course not, so no need to put up with that about alcohol.

Do you remember that social experiment years ago, where they gave one group gin and tonics, and another group tonics but bit with a little bit of gin smeared around the rim of the glass? The tonic-only group ended up having just as much fun as the gin and tonic group! :T

Izadora

Reply to Tea That wound me up this morning as well but for a slightly different reason. Although I agree with you that people shouldn't have to hide not drinking, a simple "I don't feel like it today" should be enough, I can see why it would lead to the assumption that it's due to pregnancy in some cases - I probably drink once a week on average but if a crowd of us went to the pub and I wasn't drinking it would be out-of-the-ordinary enough for people to speculate.
What annoyed me more is that the "don't tell anyone until 12 weeks" attitude. It's perpetuating the idea that miscarriage is something which shouldn't be spoken about and you don't want to tell people that you're pregnant in case you have to break the news to anyone that you're not anymore. While I can understand that you wouldn't want all and sundry knowing, if they're people that you're close enough to that they would be able to work out that you're pregnant based on your drinking habits then surely you're close enough that you'd want them be able to comfort you, or at least know not to put their foot in it, if the worst happened?
I also need to learn to steer clear of those threads because I know I wind myself up with them but somehow am still drawn to them... End reply

tea_lover

Izadora

Penguin
Oh my word yes!!! There also seems to be a widespread belief that nothing goes wrong after 12 weeks. I've seen it referred to quite a few times as the safe point, or similar. Which is patently ridiculous. Attitudes to m/c are shocking, it's like a grubby little secret that you have to forget about in a matter of days.
End.


Pyxis - it is so silly isn't it?! I can't imagine many people go to the effort of switching coffee with something else before others turn up, or asking staff to serve something that looks like coffee but isn't, or pretending that usually they'd love a coffee but they have a stomach bug so can't have any just this once.

I have no idea why this annoys me so much! I will blame hormones... as ever :rotfl:.

onomatopoeia99

Hugs hbs, redundancy is a really scary prospect. Hugs to everyone else as well, seems a lot are struggling at the moment.

While pregnancy is not something I have to worry about, I like alcohol, and I like the effect it has on me when taken in moderation, but it's not something I need to have a good time. For one thing I usually have to drive when I go out so that rules out drinking anyway. If I don't want to drink for any reason I'll just say "not today, don't feel like it." and get some water or fruit juice, and I'd not read anything into a female friend doing the same!

Can anyone explain linked in to me? It gets mentioned on here occasionally, like today by tea. Someone told me it was like facebook for work, but that just boggled my brain. On facebook my sister-in-law posts pictures of my niece and nephew (which is nice for me as I only see them a few times a year), or various friends around Europe write about what their doing etc. Translate that to work and "Today I'm writing some documentation for a major product revision I just finished coding, and the office car park was a bit full." Not sure who would want to read that :rotfl: So I've obviously misunderstood completely!

Pyxis

Penguin about m/c and pregnancy....

If we're talking about not wanting to say if you're pregnant in the early stages, there might be other reasons besides the risk of m/c thing.
Let's face it, once people know that someone is pregnant, it tends to be the main thing they talk about all the time, when they see you. It may be just a way of preventing all that talk for a few weeks.

It maybe that someone is coming to terms with being pregnant themselves, whether it was unexpected, or after a long time of trying.

It may just be because it is a private time for themselves and hubby to savour.

Or it may be that not everyone in the family has been informed, for whatever of reason.
End penguin.


Ono, it's always puzzled me too!

tea_lover

I can completely understand that Pyxis. What's annoying is comments that state it's in some way not allowed to tell people earlier (or later - as if 12 weeks is somehow magical). It's quite an arbitrary deadline but so many people seem to take it as some sort of divine truth that must not be messed with.

I have absolutely no idea why I am rabbiting on about this. Someone distract me with a wispa

Lambyr

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Can anyone explain linked in to me? It gets mentioned on here occasionally, like today by tea. Someone told me it was like facebook for work, but that just boggled my brain. On facebook my sister-in-law posts pictures of my niece and nephew (which is nice for me as I only see them a few times a year), or various friends around Europe write about what their doing etc. Translate that to work and "Today I'm writing some documentation for a major product revision I just finished coding, and the office car park was a bit full." Not sure who would want to read that :rotfl: So I've obviously misunderstood completely!

You don't really do that type of stuff on LinkedIn. It's more an "enhanced CV" type of social network where you keep a record of all your work-related achievements. You can do status updates, but they're more a sort of blog post type of thing, where you give your views on something business-related, or where you hand out some tips or something like that.

Mostly, it's about connecting with people in your industry to learn from, share ideas with and maybe find new job opportunities from. There's also groups, similar to Facebook groups but more like these forums, that you can contribute to, network with and all that.

I see it as an online version of American-style business networking. A way of handing out a sort of Internet-based business card. I think it's mostly beneficial for jobseekers and freelancers, rather than people in steady employment who have no real desire to change jobs.