Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis

jobbingmusician wrote: »

Special hugs to (((((happily))))) - by the way, I love your cwtches, which sound to me like Welsh squishes - are they? xxxxx

Squishes and Cwtches to all who would like some. (That sounds like a nice user name!!!)

Nice name, but a !!!!!! to have to keep typing! :rotfl:

Perhaps you could condense it down to squitch? :rotfl:

Is cwtch pronounced cootch as in book?

If so, I wonder if that's where we get coochie-coochie-coo from?

happilymarried2013

Pyxis wrote: »

Nice name, but a !!!!!! to have to keep typing! :rotfl:

Perhaps you could condense it down to squitch? :rotfl:

Is cwtch pronounced cootch as in book?

If so, I wonder if that's where we get coochie-coochie-coo from?

Its more of a c-uh-tch sound I think. But I do have one of the strongest Welsh accents in the world. Ever. :rotfl:

Pyxis

happilymarried2013 wrote: »

Its more of a c-uh-tch sound I think. But I do have one of the strongest Welsh accents in the world. Ever. :rotfl:

Do you mean cutch as in crutch?

Flybaby

Hello squishables.
Moo - any news on the job front? Have you tried principal people agency?
Squishes to Calley and Tea - not seen for a couple of days, hope yous ok.


I was driving around the M25 today and the car in front had a fab cute sloth artwork on the back that made me think of WaS and you all.......don't know why.........even doing 70 in the fast lane I was tempted to try and find phone to take a picture for you all!

Pyxis

Flybaby wrote: »

Hello squishables.
Moo - any news on the job front? Have you tried principal people agency?
Squishes to Calley and Tea - not seen for a couple of days, hope yous ok.


I was driving around the M25 today and the car in front had a fab cute sloth artwork on the back that made me think of WaS and you all.......don't know why.........even doing 70 in the fast lane I was tempted to try and find phone to take a picture for you all!

This?.........





While,I was looking for that, I found these!......







Me want sooooooo bad!

Pyxis

Or this perhaps?

whitewing

Me too!......................

Waves_and_Smiles

Evening everyone!

Hello tuna! Yay for finding us!

This penguin talks about prison life and a tiny bit about attempted suicide.

I managed to make myself slightly errr obsessive yesterday. I began watching prison documentaries, particularly those that deal heavily with psychiatric disorders and it broke my heart. I watched them solidly for 10 hours, had an overwhelming desire to help and then realised I was probably making myself ill so stopped. I won't go into details but some of these people need a lot more help than they are getting. They ask for it and the prisons don't just have resources.

There was one man with Bipolar who had been in and out of prison since he was 17 who everyone agreed would never hurt a fly, he reoffends within months of getting released just because he only feels safe in prison, he was terrified of the outside world. He spoke a lot about how he feels people judge him, traffic is too loud, he can't figure when he should eat, rooms are too large. He was totally institutionalised but they just didn't have the services to support him outside. Why is he being sent back to prison for petty crime everytime rather than psychiatric care? He has stated he only commits crimes because he is terrified of living independently, why aren't we helping people like him cope?

Another 19 year old woman begged not to be released from prison, they released her and she tried to take her life the next day. After 2 weeks in hospital she was discharged and given a psychiatric appointment for a month later and she was sent back to a small flat alone. She admitted she couldn't survive that long so smashed a set of windows and hit a police officer so that she was sent back to the safety (for her) of prison. She had grown up in care and had always been told what to do and when, she had no family. Where is the supported housing to gradually teach people like her how to live alone?

They weren't the only ones, so many people felt safer in prisoner, particularly those who had come from care and had always been used to an institutionalised life. They just didn't have the capacity to deal with independent living and prison was a better option as they saw it.

I may have had a panicked hour of saying to WaSp I have to go back to work, I have to do something for these people! Then I realised I was going to become ill so went to bed. It was an interesting, if very disturbing way to spend a Sunday and now I am certain that we more funds for rehabilitation for prisoners, especially those with psychiatric records. We are failing these people so much. It really upset me.

elsien

Yes, there's a bit of a catch 22 where people need supported accommodation but get turned down for it because of their previous offending history. But can't cope without the support so end up either back inside or back in hospital. A definite gap that people fall through.

A programme about autism tonight on BBC 4 if anyone's interested. Horizon so should be reasonably sensible.

faerielight

TRIGGER/PENGUIN ( MOTHER/ABUSE STUFF)

Hi guys, had a bad showdown last night with my evil mother, over me asking her for money because my sofas are broken and making the herniated disc worse. She forced to beg and plead with her and used her money as a stick to beat me with .and refused anyway telling me to sell my cats to buy a sofa, or sit on the floor.

I hate that I have to humiliate myself beg her like a dog. I really regret not taking her to court when my dad died 20 years ago and she took all the wealth and property and gave me nothing. There was no will so she was only meant to take £25000 and give the rest to me, but I was too scared of her to fight it in a court of law. She told me again last night that she has disinherited me and is leaving it all to her con man boyfriend and his kids. treats me like a 2nd class citizen. .. she's so evil, I hate her so much

I stayed up all night writing a letter to her, when I cut contact with her in my 20's I wrote stating why, ie she didn't protect me and caused a lot of the abuse.. I got a letter, signed by her saying lots of vile stuff.. one quote was:
" All males chase little girls. It's always up to the little girl to stop men in their tracks. Some little girls get raped, some get murdered,be grateful and think of it as a good lesson to grow up and deal with men"

There was a whole letter full of how I deserved violence and abuse as I was a "bad child" There were so many quotes that were so shocking.

I kept the letter all that time.. I couldn't believe this was a letter from a mother to her daughter and I never replied., cutting her out for 20 years. I think I've written a really good letter, and says everything I never got to tell her in my 45 years. I never want to deal with her ever again, but poverty drives me to try and fight when I need something desperately. She is such a psychopathic narcissist.. she has no conscience, no guilt, she believes she was mother of the century, but she is the deserving and I am the undeserving. It sucks, it really does.

It's not going to make a blind bit of difference. She will never change she's a true narcissit, but it's my voice, my words, it gives me a voice. I feel this pain overy of my life, I need to be able to let go of the pain, the rage, the hate. It consumes me, but it doesn't matter how hard I try, and I've had a lot of therapy in the past, I can't let it go. "

The other big thing was that my best friend growing up found me on facebook, and we got talking. She asked me how my mum was, I told her we were estranged, that I'd been abused by 2 family members, and she said.. "so that's why your dad slept downstairs and your mum upstairs, and why she made you sleep in her bed til you were 18 and left home.. She was trying to protect you!" That sentence blew my brain out. that that must've been the conclusion an innocent child would think, because she knew I was being abused by my mum's make cousin.. I had never got a chance to ask any of my old friends what they thought back then. I told her it was my mum abusing me too, she was devestated. We talked for a couple of hours. We were really close growing up, but IO never told her, or anyone about my mum. She helped me piece a lot of memories together, because I had a lot of blanks. It was so lovely to hear from her,m but it was confronting too, and I felt so ashamed that I'm ill. mentally and physically on benefits, and my life is so hard. and she had made it as a successful singer songwriter.

TRIGGER/PENGUIN END

One piece of good news, I rag the BPD /trauma centre today, and I'm at the top of the list and will get an assessment date in the next week!I do not know how I've managed to hold on for the last 5 years without any help... I've got a lt of work to do on myself! I'm worried that I'm going to struggle to get up the steps and out of my flat as they are so steep.. I so desperately need to move, and my agency still hasn't fixed the hot water