Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

dandy-candy

((Hugs)) Calley, you're a wonderful person! Don't let that negative voice inside get you down. Getting the dog out was an achievement, some days i cant leave the house. I dont know what makes us get these down times, but i usually just bundle myself in a blanket and read (and eat!) to relax and heal. I hope you perk up soon x

calleyw

Izadora wrote: »

Calley - Sorry you're having a down day. Try to focus on the fact that you've managed to walk the dog and got a couple of loads of washing done. That's way more than I achieve a lot of days.

Izadora, Thank you for being kind. But you work so you do way more than me. Hope you has a nice time being off of work.

dandy-candy wrote: »

((Hugs)) Calley, you're a wonderful person! Don't let that negative voice inside get you down. Getting the dog out was an achievement, some days i cant leave the house. I dont know what makes us get these down times, but i usually just bundle myself in a blanket and read (and eat!) to relax and heal. I hope you perk up soon x

I get all sort of strange ideas in my head. I have a lot of thoughts of about I have done something terrible and someone is going to get hurt or die because of me. I slept again for a couple of hours this afternoon. And then it took me a good 15-20 mins if not longer to be fully awake. I need to go and see a dr about this as its getting silly. AM thinks I have sleep apnea but that is only because he has it.



I have days when I don't want to go out but often happens when AM is not around so I have to go out to take the dog out.I am sure it will pass. Until the next time.


Thank you for the kind words.



Everyone take care.


Yours


Calley x

dandy-candy

I had a weird day yesterday, i dont know if this happens with other people.

I needed to book travel insurance for my son who is going away on thursday, he travels a lot and i’ve done it for him and all of us in the past. I kept filling in the forms and then i couldnt bring myself to complete the transaction. I kept going on different sites, then I started reading up online reviews (which i havent ever done before) and ofc every company has good and bad reviews. I was left just paralysed by it all and the worry that i would pick a “bad” company and something awful would happen and he'd be seriously ill in a hospital not getting treated because i had pick the wrong insurer. I was going to talk it through with my husband as he is a very rational person, but he came home in a bad mood so i just kept it to myself. In the end i thought it would be far worse to have no insurance so i booked one ive used before and had done with it.

The fear of doing something wrong and it all being my fault (along with the catastrophizing) is something ingrained in me from my childhood by family members who bullied me physically and mentally. Even though i know they were horrible people it still constantly affects the way i respond. My husband doesn't understand this, he thinks now I've broken free of their influence and cut people off then i should be fine - a closed chapter, time to move on. Im so grateful to have this site to talk to people who understand what anxiety and depression is like.

On a lighter note i decided to tidy the kitchen today (I'm not going to pressure myself into doing the whole house), I'm about half done and should finish it before DH gets home

Big hugs to all in need x

dekaspace

Stressed at work today, as I have been there a few months I have greater tasks to do, so was given literally a 3 minute training session in morning though they did ask if I understood (which I sort of did) when I did it though I messed up multiple times in a role and it gave me severe panic and this was barely 10am and lunch wasn't to 12, after I got back I got 20 minutes proper training and have been fine since but still it really got to me.


It was more it was easy to understand when it was just a casse of someone clicking boxes in front of me, but when I did it, I wasn't sure what boxes to click.

[Deleted User]

I made the decision yesterday to ask my doc if I could retry medication for my low mood/anxiety/tiredness so made a request online to "ask your doctor a question" and he phoned me this morning and spoke through it all with me, and then was quite happy to sent a scrip over to the pharmacy near me for me to pick up today. I think previously I felt better and as soon as I did, just stopped taking them way too early. I'll be more diligent this time!

I feel a bit less on edge already knowing that I've taken a step to feeling more like myself, it has far too much of an impact on my daily life trying to force myself to be happy

Izadora

Calley - I hope things are seeming a bit better today.

Dandy - don't worry too much about it, I end up spending ages going through different options when I'm trying to get insurance. You can imagine the fun I had when I had to sort out travel and contents insurance on the same day...

Deka - don't be afraid to ask someone to explain something again if you don't fully understand. It's a bit much for them to expect you to pick something up without giving you time to take it all in. Do you know if they have process notes, with screen shots, which make it easier to follow which boxes you're meant to tick?

SSDD - well done for taking the first steps and I hope you can get back to being you.

Hugs and squishes to all who need them xx

dandy-candy

I have a friend and her two teenage kids coming to stay next week. We were best friends when we were young, and then she emigrated to Australia when we were 18 (30 years ago). Since then she has visited 3 or 4 times but never stayed with me, and we talk on the phone about twice a year. They are going to arrive on sunday and stay until the friday. Im worried we will have nothing in common anymore and there will be big silences when we run out of things to talk about. Also she is a drinker where as im teetotal. She already mentioned having a girls night out but i dont want to feel pressured into drinking. Im getting quite anxious about it all. Any ideas for how to cope please?

Stoke

dandy-candy wrote: »

I have a friend and her two teenage kids coming to stay next week. We were best friends when we were young, and then she emigrated to Australia when we were 18 (30 years ago). Since then she has visited 3 or 4 times but never stayed with me, and we talk on the phone about twice a year. They are going to arrive on sunday and stay until the friday. Im worried we will have nothing in common anymore and there will be big silences when we run out of things to talk about. Also she is a drinker where as im teetotal. She already mentioned having a girls night out but i dont want to feel pressured into drinking. Im getting quite anxious about it all. Any ideas for how to cope please?

You could have a girls night out but simply refrain from drinking as much. I must admit, I've been having this discussion with a close friend who is having some awful reactions to alcohol lately. Whether she listens to me or not, I don't know, but her problem appears to be that she is pressured into drinking by friends. Either that, or she tells me that because she doesn't want to admit that she enjoys the heavy drinking.

Edited the rest out. Not ready.

dandy-candy

Stoke wrote: »

You could have a girls night out but simply refrain from drinking as much..

Tbh i dont even want one. I dont drink at all and while i dont mind in the least if other people around me drink, i do find they feel uncomfortable drinking alone. When i said “i dont really drink anymore” on the phone she said “yeah i dont really get drunk unless its a girls weekend, i usually have just a few or sometimes even only one a night” Im more than happy for her to sit here drinking every night but i wont be joining in and i hope it isnt awkward.

I dont know what we are going to find to talk about. Im into gardening, knitting and reading - all very solitary hobbies. I really like my alone time. Would it be rude to go to bed early so i can read, or potter in the garden while she is here?

pollyanna_26

dandy I was never much of a drinker but gave up completely decades ago after marrying a man who unknown to me was a violent alcoholic.
It sounds to me that you and your friend have outgrown your friendship and have nothing much in common.
I wouldn't be pressured into a girls night out. Your home your rules . Make her welcome but make sure you don't put yourself in situations you aren't comfortable with. Talk about your interests and suggest things outdoors if the weather is good. It's never good to try to be someone you aren't for the sake of someone else.


Faerie It was lovely to read you are settled and happy in your forever home and things are better with the BPD. It never goes away but as youngests counsellor says you can challenge and mute the parrot in your head with it's negative comments. It works most of the time .DD gave it a name and just tells it to go away now.


I'm so glad your husband is home once again WaS. You did him proud .



Take care all
pollyx