Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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jobbingmusician wrote: »

I do see a lot of achievements here - Izzy's mum getting better, ono facing up to a lumbar puncture (when do you get the results?) and dandy helping son while facing up to letting him make his own mistakes (VERY difficult!) Oh, I do love this community!

Definitely something to be said for looking at the big picture and celebrating the small wins

Happy Friday, everyone, and lots of love!

HBS x

Pyxis

Post for Ono......

How are you doing?

I had it in my head that your procedure was due last .Saturday, but obviously not! My bad!

Has it been done yet? Or is it in April?

I can be a bit dense at times!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello! :j

How is everyone doing?

What goes up must come down and after months of doing well I suffered a spectacular mental health crash. I am a slightly better now but very fragile and very depressed. I have cried so much that the skin under my eyes is cracking and I seem to have eczema all over my face and ears. I cried this morning because I saw a crow sitting in the road and thought it will always fight to survive but always be alone just like me. That is how pathetic I am right now.

I am being monitored and am about to try a second antidepressant for major depressive disorder to see if this works. If it doesn't they are considering a brief inpatient treatment just as a kind of respite from life really. I am still fighting and I won't give in. I have relapsed before and bounced back and will again.

On the bright side I finally got my PIP award.

Warm hugs and handshakes to all.

Pyxis

Oh WaS, poor you.

Thinking about it though, it's not too surprising, as you've had a house move, and to a different part of the country, so you had all that upheaval, plus the stress of getting to know a new place and a new doctor, then all the stress of the PIP thing, and then a few other things as well.

No wonder you've gone flop-bot.

jobbingmusician

Agreed - what Pyxis said. So sorry to hear you're so sad, though. Big big hugs from here. You have been through an awful lot xxxxxxx

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you for caring. I think all as you both said all the changes caught up with me. I am fighting a combination of chronic depression and BPD symptoms right now and it's hard. Hopefully the new medication I have been given will kick in soon and correct what is no doubt a chemical imbalance. It's 4pm and I haven't cried today which is progress. WaSp is very unwell too which isn't helping, I am his carer right now rather than the other way around, on top of everything else I am very tired.

I also wanted to let Suki know that I care. I saw your post last night but as you have deleted it I won't comment. Just know you can always vent here and we are all here for you.

onomatopoeia99

Sorry to hear you're feeling sad WaS, hope the new medication starts working for you soon and things improve.

Pyxis wrote: »

Post for Ono......

I missed this - I've got an outpatient appointment next week, which I think is for some tests, then another the week after for the lumbar puncture. Everything is working as it should at the moment, it gradually went back to normal over the course of about a week after I left hospital and has been fine ever since. I've recevied a veritable flurry of correspondence from the NHS in recent weeks, they've even sent me an appointment with the MS physio in May and I don't have a confirmed diagnosis yet :eek:

Pyxis

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're feeling sad WaS, hope the new medication starts working for you soon and things improve.




I missed this - I've got an outpatient appointment next week, which I think is for some tests, then another the week after for the lumbar puncture. Everything is working as it should at the moment, it gradually went back to normal over the course of about a week after I left hospital and has been fine ever since. I've recevied a veritable flurry of correspondence from the NHS in recent weeks, they've even sent me an appointment with the MS physio in May and I don't have a confirmed diagnosis yet :eek:

Thanks! I've been thinking about you and wondering when your appointments were.

Are you feeling a bit happier about the lumbar puncture now?

onomatopoeia99

Yes, I've got some stuff around it organised and I talked with a friend that's a GP who set my mind at rest a bit.

mudgekin

May I join please?

I really don’t know where to start. I used to ge a regular on MSE but for various reasons drifted away.

I was medically retired from work 6 years ago but previously had suffered a period of stress and depression following a nasty bullying episode.
At that time I was very MSE, frugal and had developed a nice savings pot.
Then lots of things happened all at once, hubby was made redundant and was severely depressed but wouldn’t accept it nor saw about it. It was like walking on eggshells and I’m afraid my mum who lived with us suffered, my MH was also teetering on the edge and well you take it out on those you love most. Tragically mum ended up bearing the brunt on my stress, anxiety, depression, name it as you will but we ended up in a horrible situation where the woman that I adored and who I’d walk miles for on hot coals took the backlash. I wS barely managing to hold it together at work so when I came home and had to deal with this strange version of my hubby I became short tempered and snappy.
Mum died, I didn’t see it coming, she was immortal in my mind and I fell apart.

I ended up with a severe injury that led to being medically retired and them hubby developed a progressive neurological illness. Then although it sounds trivial I lost my darling wee cat.

The upshot was I totally fell apart and tumbled into a severe depression which I’m still suffering with. I’ve had counseling, I’m on anti Ds. I now have severe chronic pain, arthritis, fibromyalgia yadda yadda yadda

My biggest shame however is that when I slump, I spend. I’ve burned through all my lump sums from work, an Isa, all our savings. In total probs the best part of 40k on mainly craft stuff.

I’m so ashamed. I can’t even sell it as that would send me into a blind panic.

I don’t know why I’m telling all this, I’ve never shared it but I just felt I needed to tonight. I’m sure more of my dark secrets will come tumbling out in time
I don’t even know how to finish the post