Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

dandy-candy

Hugs Calleyw. I also feel like I've wasted my potential due to MH issues, so your not alone there. Crippling shyness and anxiety meant I never did what I wanted to do in life, also I got pregnant at 19 and have never worked since. I have great things too, house, husband, kids, no debts; so absolutely no right to complain. It's just that I have no identity beyond a wife and mother.

Today is yet another Father's Day where my dad is elsewhere. Ever since he married my step mum 18 years ago she has made sure he is always abroad or with her kids (by her first husband) for Father's Day. I even rang one time to ask him for lunch and he said she had arranged months ago for him to go to one of her sons for lunch. No invite extended to me and my 2 siblings to come along too.

I had a big moan about it to my husband and he asked why do I even care? In someways I don't even think it's the not seeing him that's the issue. It's more that he isn't bothered by not seeing any of us on the day that bothers me, but then he always has been a difficult father.

calleyw

dandy-candy wrote: »

Hugs Calleyw. I also feel like I've wasted my potential due to MH issues, so your not alone there. Crippling shyness and anxiety meant I never did what I wanted to do in life, also I got pregnant at 19 and have never worked since. I have great things too, house, husband, kids, no debts; so absolutely no right to complain. It's just that I have no identity beyond a wife and mother.

I have managed through life until about 5 years (2012)ago when a couple of things of happened. My marriage ended. Sadly my husband had a stroke in 2006. then an totally unsuitable person purused me and was in and out of life for nearly 4 years. It totally messed me up. And made me do stuff that I was not proud of.



It caused my anxiety levels to rocket, and self confidence to plumet to zero levels.



I stopped working 3 years ago. Because my anxiety levels caused by work was keeping me awake at night and shaking.



its slowly getting better. But the thought of going back to work terrifies me.

dandy-candy wrote: »

I had a big moan about it to my husband and he asked why do I even care? In someways I don't even think it's the not seeing him that's the issue. It's more that he isn't bothered by not seeing any of us on the day that bothers me, but then he always has been a difficult father.

Not easy but you need to let this go. He is making it clear by not making himself available to you that he is not interested in maintaining a relationship with you. Not what you want to hear. And very hurtful for you.



I personally have lost a lot of respect for my father over the last few years due to various things. My mum has said not to bother with fathers day. So I don't any more.


Hugs to everyone


Yours


Calley X

[Deleted User]

I don't do Father's Day.
'
My feline son loves me every day, and I'd rather not talk about my hominid one.
I think my cat has got it right - it's about daily living, rather than a once a year thing.

System

sorry i've been absent and a bit sketchy with posting.

but i bring good news

my parents have gifted me some money :eek: it was fora holiday but i'm being sensible and putting it towards paying off my overdraft, so thats a quarter of it gone, and......Swain is loaning e the rest so in 2 weeks i will have reduced it to £0. Grnated i will now owe Swain the money but we've agreed a repayment plan that is the cost of what my interest is and what my bus pass* costs, so in real terms i'll still have money to live on. He doesn't know this but i'm going to be squirrelling away any extra money i can and surprise him with an extra chunk to pay it off quicker.

I've had my overdraft for 10 years and its something i shall be glad to get rid of. The end is nigh! Debt free here i come!!!!


*dvla have written back and refused my provisonal application due to medical reasons so i should be able to get my disabled bus pass back!

dekaspace

Im in a very bad place right now, was told something highly distressing by someone I trusted yesterday, didn't have time to take it in as my neighbours thug friends have been noise from 7am-10pm both days, today had 2 dogs running about for over a hour both barking, kids chasing the dogs and screaming and the male friends encouraging the kids and clapping and laughing.


On top of that for no reason at all when I came out of an appointment saw this car with blacked out windows pull onto path across road illegally guy got out and shouted paranoid abuse "what you looking at, F this F that" He went into the off license next to where I got something to eat, 2 minutes later he came into off license stood in doorway and shouted more abuse but walked off.


Don't need it today, this guy must of been on something to be paranoid, I said nothing and just gave a blank look, he must of assumed when I was crossing road as he parked right in front on other side I was looking at him, him having blacked out windows and going into off license (one notorious for junkies) makes me think maybe hes a dealer or something.

[Deleted User]

My suggestion is to try and put it out of your mind Deka. Think about something else - anything pleasant & positive, to replace negative thoughts.

dekaspace

And to top off the bad day, just had a text from my relative begging for money I sent a snotty message back saying I sent them a lot already (well over £1000 over past 2 years they know im on benefits) never had a penny back, each time I rejected them they phone like 6 times a hour every hour for days until I pay then I get sob stories.

Pyxis

dekaspace wrote: »

And to top off the bad day, just had a text from my relative begging for money I sent a snotty message back saying I sent them a lot already (well over £1000 over past 2 years they know im on benefits) never had a penny back, each time I rejected them they phone like 6 times a hour every hour for days until I pay then I get sob stories.

Block their phone number, Deka. That's a must-do. They may be a relative but they are toxic.

Just because they are a relative does not mean you have to take this abuse, because it IS abuse.

So block their phone number. And then cut them out of your life.

[Deleted User]

Pyxis wrote: »

...

Sometimes, please just agree that the glass is half-empty! :D:D

I just want a glass ....(with wine of course)

Pyxis

beenthere_donethat wrote: »

I can relate to that, these last few days.

I have had a health scare and - only naturally, in my view - there have been times where I have considered the worse possible outcome, so have felt quite low but that has been frowned upon

Other days, I have been more positive but it is still lurking in the back of my mind. I just wish I didn't almost feel as though I had to apologise for feeling low or as if it was my fault that not having a positive outlook will make it worse, that's even if it is the worse possible outcome to begin with, which I won't know until next week.

(((((((((((beenthere_donethat)))))))))) :A