Accident at nursery

Andypandyboy

onlyroz wrote: »

Stay at home if you want. Go to work if you want. But don't infer that women who work are only doing it under sufferance and would be better off at home.

Ah, but by saying: "If you keep on telling women that this is all they should be aspiring to turn they will continue to believe it is true" you implied that being a sahm was somehow a lesser choice.

At least that is what I inferred from your comment. So it seems it is ok for you to "denigrate" those who choose differently to you, but not the other way round.

Person_one

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Ah, but by saying: "If you keep on telling women that this is all they should be aspiring to turn they will continue to believe it is true" you implied that being a sahm was somehow a lesser choice.

At least that is what I inferred from your comment. So it seems it is ok for you to "denigrate" those who choose differently to you, but not the other way round.

'Alll' as in 'the only thing', its quite easy to understand.

You are inferring what you are inferring because you are choosing to!

onlyroz

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Ah, but by saying: "If you keep on telling women that this is all they should be aspiring to turn they will continue to believe it is true" you implied that being a sahm was somehow a lesser choice.

At least that is what I inferred from your comment. So it seems it is ok for you to "denigrate" those who choose differently to you, but not the other way round.

I have no problem with people choosing to stay at home or people choosing to go to work. I do have a problem with people doing something simply because that is what they think society expects of them. In an ideal world both mothers and fathers would equally share the duties and pleasures of rearing their children, and would share the economic activities that bring money into the household.

Andypandyboy

Person_one wrote: »

'Alll' as in 'the only thing', its quite easy to understand.

You are inferring what you are inferring because you are choosing to!

Or as in a lesser thing.;)

It can be read both ways, but given the rest of the post I believe the poster meant it in the way I took it.

Andypandyboy

onlyroz wrote: »

I have no problem with people choosing to stay at home or people choosing to go to work. I do have a problem with people doing something simply because that is what they think society expects of them. In an ideal world both mothers and fathers would equally share the duties and pleasures of rearing their children, and would share the economic activities that bring money into the household.

Do you really believe that in this day and age people run their families on what they believe society expects of them? In any case I would think that the message now is go back to work rather than stay at home. I really don't know any families who think that way. They do what suits them best.

I fully agree with your last paragraph with the caveat that if one or other chooses not to work outside the home and it is mutually agreed, it is no one's business but theirs.

There seems to be an assumption that women choose to work, but sahm's are subjugated and so stay at home constrained by the career ambitions of their partners.

Person_one

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Or as in a lesser thing.;)

It can be read both ways, but given the rest of the post I believe the poster meant it in the way I took it.

I don't think that at all, and you can't be familiar with this poster if you think she'd belittle women's choices and roles that way.

Person_one

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Do you really believe that in this day and age people run their families on what they believe society expects of them?

I never cease to be amazed by how much societal expectations influence the vast majority. You become more aware of it when you buck the trends to an extent and see the reactions!

Andypandyboy

Person_one wrote: »

I never cease to be amazed by how much societal expectations influence the vast majority. You become more aware of it when you buck the trends to an extent and see the reactions!

So you think that societal expectation is for mothers to stay at home?

I think that societal expectation plays a part in life, but not in this type of decision.

onlyroz

Andypandyboy wrote: »

So you think that societal expectation is for mothers to stay at home?

I think that societal expectation plays a part in life, but not in this type of decision.

I live in a small Berkshire town among reasonably prosperous households. My kids attend the local primary school and it is obvious that the vast majority of mothers work only part time if at all. The school makes things hard for households where both parents work full time eg by scheduling parent appointments and school plays etc in the middle of the day, or by insisting that reception children start off doing half days for the first term. On a number of occasions I have been given the impression that the staff look down on me for working full time and think that I am a deficient parent.

My husband was ridiculed at work for requesting extended paternity leave on the same terms as women requesting maternity leave. This was before the new rules came into effect allowing mothers and fathers to share the leave.

Things are changing for the better but we are a long way off the ideal yet

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

I live in a small Berkshire town among reasonably prosperous households. My kids attend the local primary school and it is obvious that the vast majority of mothers work only part time if at all. The school makes things hard for households where both parents work full time eg by scheduling parent appointments and school plays etc in the middle of the day, or by insisting that reception children start off doing half days for the first term. On a number of occasions I have been given the impression that the staff look down on me for working full time and think that I am a deficient parent.

My husband was ridiculed at work for requesting extended paternity leave on the same terms as women requesting maternity leave. This was before the new rules came into effect allowing mothers and fathers to share the leave.

Things are changing for the better but we are a long way off the ideal yet

I always find it ironic that things are scheduled for the middle of the day when staff at the school are themselves working !