Accident at nursery

iammumtoone

When my son was born I was working full time, I returned to work but didn't like leaving him so gave up my (well paid) job to be a SHAM. That worked for five years until my sons dad and I split up.

I then had to claim JSA, I got slated on MSE for not working and claiming JSA. I found myself a job (a lot less money than I had previously been earning, but I was lucky to get that, I had been out of the workplace for too long). I don't have any family to look after my son whilst I work, so he has to go to paid childcare. Now it seems I get stated on here for doing that, you can't win with this place!

Poppie68

iammumtoone wrote: »

When my son was born I was working full time, I returned to work but didn't like leaving him so gave up my (well paid) job to be a SHAM. That worked for five years until my sons dad and I split up.

I then had to claim JSA, I got slated on MSE for not working and claiming JSA. I found myself a job (a lot less money than I had previously been earning, but I was lucky to get that, I had been out of the workplace for too long). I don't have any family to look after my son whilst I work, so he has to go to paid childcare. Now it seems I get stated on here for doing that, you can't win with this place!

There is nothing wrong with leaving your child in the care of others, your not dumping him or palming him off. Kindergarten never did my 3 any harm if anything it helped produce 3 very well behaved independent young ladies.

FBaby

ravilious_fan wrote: »

You may be mis-remembering them. Did you read the article I gave a link to?

Sorry I work in a scientific field and I have long learn not to trust the interpretation by the media when it comes to research (which in itself means nothing at all). It makes for amusing reading, but not worth using for debating purposes.

GwylimT

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I am not seeking control, but I don't think its too much to expect for us to be consistent in our actions given the vast amount of time I spend looking after her. If that means ganging up on the nursery, so be it

I'm being silly now. Obviously time for beddyhouse.

Yet you let her sleep with her head in an unsafe position.

GlasweJen

OP just remember being an aunt is great but you do need to hand them back!

VfM4meplse

OMG the turn of this thread.

Baby is fine (aside from a cold). Nursery is fine. I wanted my sister to be sure that they were not peddling her a fairy story, and they weren't. You can't blame me for being suspicious, any child is precious to its family.

Sister is single. We have a very close family relationship and I am seen as a second mummy. Niece is often left with me for long days with advance planning, stays overnight etc and everyone is happy with the arrangement (esp me and the baby). Grandparents are also very hands-on. In fact I have her in my care for the rest of the week whilst her mum manages her work committments as I had leave to use up, and she does not. Culturally, familes pull together rather than get disturbed by loving siblings. I see my niece as a daughter, that's just the way it is. And yes it would be nice if I had one of my own, but I have made no secret of the fact I wish to adopt (not foster).

Finally: not a picture of my niece, just a cute image I found online.

FBaby

ravilious_fan wrote: »

You may be mis-remembering them. Did you read the article I gave a link to?

Then again, since you seem to be a fan of the Telegraph!
http://http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/predictions/politics/11692661/Brussels-tells-British-mothers-get-back-to-work.html

silverwhistle

jaydeeuk1 wrote: »

how sad these kids were being treated as though they're an inconvenience to their parents career,

Dont get why youd want to have kids only to palm them off most of the week onto someone else whilst paying extortionate fees.

I'm 60, unmarried and long since paid off the mortgage, but even I know the difficulties in many parts of the country in affording housing. There are also many couples deferring having kids because of their poor housing situation. Getting off the career ladder is also an issue for many parents (normally the mother), which may have important implications down the line.

You seem appallingly unaware of all these issues.

Person_one

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Sister is single. We have a very close family relationship and I am seen as a second mummy. Niece is often left with me for long days with advance planning, stays overnight etc

There are many aunts who do that for nieces, they are still aunts though and don't refer to themselves as 'second mummy' or consider them as their own daughter.

That's all about your needs and desires, not the child's.

FBaby

I know its good for her to interact with other children and the wider benefits of nursery care but the truth is I dislike her being there from early to late.

Its not for me to lay a guilt trip on my sister, but to be honest I'd rather just quit work and look after her during the day, until she goes to school. I can be flexible with my hours - the NHS runs 24/7 after all - but my sister can't.

So you consider her like your daughter, you say 'we' pay nursery, so surely if it is the case that you can be flexible with your hours, why aren't you so you can either drop your niece or pick her up earlier from nursery so she spends less time there?