what is emotional abuse?

merlin68

I've tried talking with him he just doesn't listen.
I asked him about relate and he looked at the ceiling and grudgingly agreed.
It's £45 a session, but they do a bursary where you offer what you can afford to pay.
The other thing is he never does the deed.
When i ask him he does but never of his own back its been once this year and that was because i initiated.
He keeps saying he does want me but never makes the effort.
I been having the same problem for years he'll do it once after a nag then nothing till the next time.
I cant live like this any more, i need love and affection.
all i get is i do love you and want you, but he doesn't show any emotion even when doing it, its just odd.

Guest101

merlin68 wrote: »

I've tried talking with him he just doesn't listen.
I asked him about relate and he looked at the ceiling and grudgingly agreed.
It's £45 a session, but they do a bursary where you offer what you can afford to pay.
The other thing is he never does the deed.
When i ask him he does but never of his own back its been once this year and that was because i initiated.
He keeps saying he does want me but never makes the effort.
I been having the same problem for years he'll do it once after a nag then nothing till the next time.
I cant live like this any more, i need love and affection.
all i get is i do love you and want you, but he doesn't show any emotion even when doing it, its just odd.

You realise that could also be abuse, you're making demands on sex, pressuring him to perform. Even if it's not, it's not written anywhere that he must initiate.


And finally on top of that, why would he want to - you don't come across as very approachable - it's one incident, but as I said, you didn't support him in the car at all, you belittled him and put him down. You indicated that was a 'typical' incident, so is it? Do you often make assumptions?
This sounds like a typical 'hen-pecked' husband, and when he snaps you think he's being abusive. He's agreed to go to relate, that's a good sign. Make the most of it.


You say he lies, but i'm not surprised.

Pollycat

merlin68 wrote: »

I've tried talking with him he just doesn't listen.
I asked him about relate and he looked at the ceiling and grudgingly agreed.
It's £45 a session, but they do a bursary where you offer what you can afford to pay.
The other thing is he never does the deed.
When i ask him he does but never of his own back its been once this year and that was because i initiated.
He keeps saying he does want me but never makes the effort.
I been having the same problem for years he'll do it once after a nag then nothing till the next time.
I cant live like this any more, i need love and affection.
all i get is i do love you and want you, but he doesn't show any emotion even when doing it, its just odd.

WOW!
The more you post, the more toxic this relationship sounds.

Do you even love him?
If the answer is 'no', I think you should arrange to see someone who can give you advice about the options open to both of you for a life without each other.