what is emotional abuse?

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

It may just have been that the OP saw the other car pull out first and reacted (possibly over-reacted) by screaming at her OH.
The OP's OH may well have seen the car a split-second after the OP did and would have reacted in plenty of time.

My Mother was a nightmare passenger (she didn't drive) - she was forever 'seeing' potential accidents that my Dad and sister (who drove her most often) were more than capable of seeing for themselves and taking avoiding action.
She also 'screamed' at whoever was driving the car she was a passenger in.
Not a pleasant experience - either for the driver or any other passenger.

Surely she wasn't screaming on purpose to annoy the driver though? I'm sure it's no fun for the frightened person either, I try not to hold people too responsible for fear based reactions line that, it's not really a choice they've made.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Surely she wasn't screaming on purpose to annoy the driver though? I'm sure it's no fun for the frightened person either, I try not to hold people too responsible for fear based reactions line that, it's not really a choice they've made.

Ok let's use your version of events.


Is your default position to then blame your partner for the near miss?

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Surely she wasn't screaming on purpose to annoy the driver though?

Are you talking about the OP or my Mum?
My Mum couldn't help it - but that didn't stop whoever was driving feeling annoyed with her.
It was incredibly stressful for all involved.
If you've never been in a car on a regular basis where someone gasps, screams, grabs the dashboard, door handle or even the driver's arm when a car pulls up to a junction at a speed faster than 10 miles an hour, you have no idea how bad it is.

No idea if the OP was screaming at her OH to annoy him on purpose.

Person_one wrote: »

I'm sure it's no fun for the frightened person either, I try not to hold people too responsible for fear based reactions line that, it's not really a choice they've made.

Absolutely.
But it would have been much more understandable if my Mum had ever been in an accident. She hadn't.

The way the OP had told it, her OH was to blame.
I'm merely telling the other side of the story - that he may have seen the car and the screaming and subsequent ruin of a planned meal out may have been avoided.

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

Ok let's use your version of events.


Is your default position to then blame your partner for the near miss?

I don't blame anybody, these things happen. I would never throw somebody out of my car as you said you would for reacting instinctively though, and I hope I would be sympathetic to somebody very shaken up. I've had near misses, it does affect you for a while.

I see no reason to jump all over he OP for anything she couldn't help, regardless of who's to blame for the near miss.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

I don't blame anybody, these things happen. I would never throw somebody out of my car as you said you would for reacting instinctively though, and I hope I would be sympathetic to somebody very shaken up. I've had near misses, it does affect you for a while.

I see no reason to jump all over he OP for anything she couldn't help, regardless of who's to blame for the near miss.

So it's absolutely fine to abuse her husband and blame him for the near-miss?


He should've been sympathetic to her outburst?

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

But DLA is paid because the person has needs - the money isn't there to provide a carer with a social life.

The OP says that her husband is there (at home) all the time, so not much of a social life.

culpepper

Is he lying about things you don't agree with?
I mean things that you don't want him to do.

The suicide thing sounds rather manipulative
Has it ever actually come to anything?
Is it to stop you saying or doing anything?
Does it get the desired reaction do you think?

If he threatens to walk and take the kids, wont your daughter who is almost an adult anyway, just refuse to go with him?
His threats then are becoming very watered down it would seem.

What would he say if you asked him if he is happy with his life?
It might be worth the conversation even if it pains you to have to listen to the answers. At least you would know then.

Mojisola

merlin68 wrote: »

i'm barely in the car as it is 3 times in two weeks.
his out in it every day.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

the op says that her husband is there (at home) all the time, so not much of a social life.

??? .......................

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

??? .......................

She also said,

"We have already had social services do an assessment but because his here all the time they wouldn't help."

I did point out the contradiction.

merlin68

He has no social life because A Even his family have fell out with him, i don't know why. B. His never had any friends in the whole time i've known him.
I was under the impression that you have to give way to the right on a roundabout.
He actually caused an accident once and hit a car, i wasn't with him that time.
He was found to be at fault, similar scenario.
Being at home doesn't mean your caring, you could be spending your whole time on the xbox.