what is emotional abuse?

missbiggles1

merlin68 wrote: »

We have already had social services do an assessment but because his here all the time they wouldn't help.
They did get the house adapted however.
His out in the car again and im sat here in my nightie with only the screen for company.
His gone to his appointment. I go to a lunch club 2 times a week when im well enough and that is it.

If he isn't caring for you for at least 35 hours a week then you should make him stop claiming Carers Allowance.

Your two comments above are a bit contradictory.

Mojisola

merlin68 wrote: »

Seeing as its my motability vehicle

I'm barely in the car as it is 3 times in two weeks.

His out in it every day.

Wouldn't you be better off without the mobility vehicle if you don't use it very much? You would have the extra cash and could use taxis for the times you go out.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

There's a difference between screaming and screaming at someone.

Well yes, but screaming at the driver to stop still seems pretty understandable if you really think they're about to hit another car.

I don't think many people would act calmly and rationally in that split second of recognising an imminent danger. Instinct kicks in.

reehsetin

If he threatens suicide call the emergency services, if there's a genuine issue he'll get help, if not he'll learn it cannot be used as a manipulation tool to get you to do what he wants

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Well yes, but screaming at the driver to stop still seems pretty understandable if you really think they're about to hit another car.

I don't think many people would act calmly and rationally in that split second of recognising an imminent danger. Instinct kicks in.

But in that case how can the OP know that the car had just pulled out and it was clearly her husbands fault??!


She either saw what was happening or she didn't.

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

But in that case how can the OP know that the car had just pulled out and it was clearly her husbands fault??!


She either saw what was happening or she didn't.

Can you quote the bit where she said it was definitely his fault? It seemed to me that she's more bothered by him being unconcerned about how frightened/shaken up she was.

Gigervamp

I was under the impression that motability cars are only meant to be used to ferry the disabled person about, or to e.g collect something like prescriptions for the person.

I don't think they're meant to be used by the non-disabled person as a runnabout for themselves.

If you only go out a few times a week, it might work out cheaper to use taxis.

ETA from the Motorbility site:

The car must be used by, or for the benefit of, the disabled person. This does not mean that the disabled person needs to be in the car for every journey. In practice, this means that other named drivers in the same household can use the car for shopping, visiting family and other routine activities, so long as the disabled customer will benefit.

tomtontom

BigAunty wrote: »

The Womens Aid website has a checklist of various behaviours that can indicate the presence of domestic abuse. Read it and quantify the extent of it.

A checklist can be helpful in understanding whether signs of abuse may be present, but they only look at one person's perspective. There are a lot of people in mutually abusive/ manipulative relationships - or put in simpler terms, people that just aren't good for each other.

OP rather than putting a label on your situation think about what is right for all of you. What strikes me is your daughter wanting to move out as soon as she is able to - why is this?

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Can you quote the bit where she said it was definitely his fault? It seemed to me that she's more bothered by him being unconcerned about how frightened/shaken up she was.

We had an incident in the car today, He never saw a car pull out so i had to scream at him to stop and the other driver waved his arms and swore and when i pulled him up

That's a direct quote.

pogofish

merlin68 wrote: »

He took an overdose when a previous partner finished with him and he did it to me once.
He lies about everything, its normally when i pull him up on lying then he tries to deny it, even though his caught out, of face book by other people he swears blind he hasnt done it.

What.. a.. catch..!

I think you have answered your own question somehow.