Dating Dilemma - opinions please!

iammumtoone

How did you meet?

If you met due to him activity seeking a relationship ie a dating website etc, then I would be very cautious as he should not have been doing that in his position.

But if you just happened to meet in a innocent situation and just clicked, then I can see why he might want to become involved with you but keep it low key for the moment. In this situation he wouldn't be expecting to meet someone but now he has and likes you I can see why he would want to keep hold of you but not go public yet (due to the trouble his ex could cause with his children). Children come first and I can quite understand he wants to keep access arrangements as friendly as possible. Of course this should not stop him being able to spend time at yours and I would be inclined to test this by asking him last minute to come over, to see if is able to or if he makes up excuses.

Pollycat

Maureen43 wrote: »

Thanks for the concern - I really appreciate it! I AM being cautious, which is why I am thinking about it before I throw myself into this big style.

I did ask him that question. He said his wife may become even more unreasonable if she knows he is in a relationship.

Do what you think is best for you, love.

You're already feeling apprehensive (no bad thing), trust your instincts.

If he thinks anything of you (and knows anything of your past), he'll understand your concern.

PeacefulWaters

iammumtoone wrote: »

How did you meet?

If you met due to him activity seeking a relationship ie a dating website etc, then I would be very cautious as he should not have been doing that in his position.

If he believes himself to be single then he really isn't doing anything wrong.

missbiggles1

Maureen43 wrote: »

This could be the case. How do you ever know for sure though?

Deep sigh.

Well, not getting involved with a married man might be a good starting point.

iammumtoone

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If he believes himself to be single then he really isn't doing anything wrong.

I disagree, as whilst he might be single he is expecting the women to be a secret, and act like its an affair. He needs to wait until he is able to have a proper relationship, like single people.

tiger_eyes

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If he believes himself to be single then he really isn't doing anything wrong.

If his divorce situation is such a crisis that he can't even be seen with another woman in his home town, it perhaps would seem odd that he's on dating sites at all.

missbiggles1

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If he believes himself to be single then he really isn't doing anything wrong.

He's married so he'd be committing adultery, whether he thinks it's wrong or not.

yvonne13_2

Maureen43 wrote: »

Yes. He's living with his parents. Or so he says.

Wait....so he's living with his parents and you can't even met him in his own home town!!!!

OP you have allowed this man to treat you like a dirty little secret. So I take it if you went to his home town he would break things off with you. You need to stop dancing to his fiddle or you'll end up hurt.

If what he's saying is true why would he get involved with you on that level and risk everything?

Sorry to say this, but I think you should tell him bye.

Person_one

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

If he believes himself to be single then he really isn't doing anything wrong.

If he's not in a position to have a relationship he will acknowledge publicly, and has to avoid whole towns to keep his partner a secret, then it wasn't really fair to potential partners for him to actively seek to put somebody in that awkward position.

duchy

Presumably he doesn't want you posting on his FB either - I think he's either paranoid so not yet ready for a new relationship...........or he's not as single as he claims.

Have you seen him on weekends or only in the week ?