Dating Dilemma - opinions please!

piglet74

Very true, you are worth more, and if he wants to keep you a secret, then bow out! If what he says is true, he should have no problems introducing you to his pals etc

So what if you both are spotted out together, that is... If he really is single, sorry.

FBaby

Did he say he moved out to separate property or is it a case that he can't afford it, so still in the same property until it sales but of course living separate lives... If the latter, I would have nothing to do with him until he at least moves out. If he said he moved out, I will check the electoral roll, although if he moved out only recently, it might not show up yet.

Has he been at yours yet? If you believe him, why not wait until he's been at yours a couple of times and then say you agree not to go out in is town, but of course that shouldn't stop you staying at yours. Surely no-one is spying at of the windows!

Saying all that, his argument doesn't hold as it's been said, if they have separated officially, then he can do what he wants.

PeacefulWaters

He's recognised that his new relationship, if out in the open, will rock the boat when it comes to attempting to negotiate the divorce settlement (although that ship seems to have sailed and a profitable time for lawyers in court awaits).

If she's genuinely awkward enough to have her negotiating point at 100% of assets she could probably wreak havoc with child access arrangements if she decided to. I completely get his caution at this stage.

Gloomendoom

Hmmm... I divorced years ago and have since remarried. I still avoid the town that my ex lives in as I don't want to upset her by having her see me with my wife. I know that she didn't take me remarrying particularly well.

Maureen43

FBaby wrote: »

Did he say he moved out to separate property

Yes. He's living with his parents. Or so he says.

Pollycat

fairy_lights wrote: »

Are you sure he's telling you the truth about the divorce and you're not his bit on the side?
If he's getting divorced then what's the problem with him moving on, why or how could his ex use that as ammo?

This was my first thought when I first read the OP's post.

I can't see why he won't meet the OP in his home town.

Maureen, I remember your thread from when you split from your husband.
I'd urge you to be really careful about getting too involved with someone who may not be telling you the whole truth.
He says he won't meet you in his home town 'in case we are seen and word gets back to his ex.'
Have you actually asked him what he thinks may happen if you are seen together?

thorsoak

I'm another who would advocate telling him that until he has his divorce through and settled (and you see the papers !) you aren't interested.

If you have been cheated on in the past, then you will know how it feels to find out that your relationship is not all that it seems to be.

Either that - or "surprise him" in his own town at a time when he cannot see you........

Maureen43

Pollycat wrote: »

This was my first thought when I first read the OP's post.

I can't see why he won't meet the OP in his home town.

Maureen, I remember your thread from when you split from your husband.
I'd urge you to be really careful about getting too involved with someone who may not be telling you the whole truth.
He says he won't meet you in his home town 'in case we are seen and word gets back to his ex.'
Have you actually asked him what he thinks may happen if you are seen together?

Thanks for the concern - I really appreciate it! I AM being cautious, which is why I am thinking about it before I throw myself into this big style.

I did ask him that question. He said his wife may become even more unreasonable if she knows he is in a relationship.

Maureen43

thorsoak wrote: »

If you have been cheated on in the past, then you will know how it feels to find out that your relationship is not all that it seems to be.

Yes, and I have no desire to go through that again.

pigpen

I'd be inclined to believe he is married and cheating on his wife so you are a dirty secret being hidden.