Deal Breakers in relationships

seven-day-weekend

I have been married nearly 45 years, so this is just theoretical for me

I'm female.

I would like : Kind, funny, sensitive, artistic (like my husband, in fact!). Couldn't care less what they eat providing I am free to eat what I wish.

Deal breaker : Arrogant, self-obsessed, what used to be called a 'bighead', smoker, someone who could not see beauty in the natural world, someone who practised a different religion to myself, someone who would not live and let live as regards a difference in political opinion.

Torry_Quine

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Although I regard myself as a Christian, I was unaware of the "equal yoke" thing so had to look it up.

I did find this...

1 Corinthians 7:12-14: “…If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…”

It looks like it is official: an unbelieving spouse should not be a deal breaker for Christians.

It is usually taught that if you are married your spouse not being Christian doesn't mean you should divorce them.




However we shouldnt marry someone who isnt a Christian is standard teaching. 2 Corinthians 6:14 tells us not to be yoked (married) to unbelievers.

seven-day-weekend

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Although I regard myself as a Christian, I was unaware of the "equal yoke" thing so had to look it up.

I did find this...

1 Corinthians 7:12-14: “…If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…”

It looks like it is official: an unbelieving spouse should not be a deal breaker for Christians.

I always take this to mean that if two people marry, then one of them becomes a Christian, then they should not get divorced because of the other being a non-believer, not that you should marry someone knowing that they are not a Christian.

Gloomendoom

I'm not convinced that unbelievers in this context includes atheists. Isn't 2 Corinthians 6:14 a warning against idolatry? Those that worship false gods rather than no god at all?

I imagine that when Corinthians was written, pure atheists were few and far between, if they existed at all.

pigpen

An atheist believes there are no gods/deities.. as truly as another would believe that there is.. and therefore is just as valid as a religion. So it is possible that an atheist would be described as having a religious belief, opposite to the belief that there is a god. So by saying you'd not have a relationship with someone with religious beliefs you are claiming to only seek agnostic partners?

If they are not radical fundamentalist crazies who cares what they believe??

heuchera

sacha28 wrote: »

I fart [IBS], I swear...a lot [Dragged up], I have pierced ears [at months old by my mother], have a fat !!!!, next to no libido [due to a non-sleeping toddler, so constantly knackered] and I LOATHE cats.

Thankfully my OH seems to quite like my 'traits' so I'm not too upset

What a lovely description. I think I would substitute 'put up with' for 'quite like'

Oh, and men who use the term 'chubby chaser'......sign of a massive te@t in my eyes.

It was Jo Brand who first coined the term, I believe.

BarryBlue

There are a couple of dealbreakers I've always had with relationships. I've never fancied skinny women at all, I'm afraid. That's not to say they would need to be fat, just have some flesh on them. I would never have looked at a woman with tattoos, but back in the day there weren't many about.


Like some others, I could never have a relationship with a woman that smoked. They just smell. Back in my youth I did have brief flings with a couple that did but they were just for recreation and never got past the first night. I couldn't imagine living in a house with a smoker.


I could absolutely not have a relationship with anyone who was religious. Relationships are about a meeting of minds and I could never really respect the judgement of someone who believed in all that stuff. Again, I had brief flings with one or two back in my youth, but never let any get serious, since they seemed to regard it as more important than the relationship. I think your partner is always the most important factor in your life.

pigpen wrote: »

An atheist believes there are no gods/deities.. as truly as another would believe that there is.. and therefore is just as valid as a religion. So it is possible that an atheist would be described as having a religious belief, opposite to the belief that there is a god. So by saying you'd not have a relationship with someone with religious beliefs you are claiming to only seek agnostic partners?

Being an atheist is the default for every human. People only get into religion through being instructed/indoctrinated by others. Atheism is only a 'religion' in the same way as not collecting stamps is a hobby.

heuchera

BarryBlue wrote: »

Being an atheist is the default for every human. People only get into religion through being instructed/indoctrinated by others. Atheism is only a 'religion' in the same way as not collecting stamps is a hobby.

The fact that 80% of the worlds population are religious would prove the first assertion to be wrong. Religion is a human need. The fact that in our particular society there are currently rather a lot of tub-thumping militant atheists is neither here nor there.


The second analogy is also poor. Atheism is a very concrete set of beliefs, chiefly: the denial of the existence of deities.


Atheists like to think of themselves as special, unique and showing superior intelligence, but they really aren't!

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

PasturesNew wrote: »

Female, single.

My list is so long .... it's why I'm single.

You can randomly chuck in: fat, short, ginger, bearded, tattoos, loud, arrogant, idiot prankster, clueless, thoughtless, careless, drugs, booze .....

Phew, rules me out then!
Married 29 years! Bloody too happy!

Petra_70

heuchera wrote: »

The fact that 80% of the worlds population are religious would prove the first assertion to be wrong. Religion is a human need. The fact that in our particular society there are currently rather a lot of tub-thumping militant atheists is neither here nor there.

The second analogy is also poor. Atheism is a very concrete set of beliefs, chiefly: the denial of the existence of deities.

Atheists like to think of themselves as special, unique and showing superior intelligence, but they really aren't!

Absolutely brilliantly put Heuchera! :T:T:T

You put it far better than I ever could! :j

I agree 100% with everything you have said here, and especially with your last paragraph!

Some atheists are amongst the most arrogant, self-important, and sanctimonious people I know, and are quite often a lot less clever than they make out!