Deal Breakers in relationships

burlington6

Person_one wrote: »

Nah, not always. Years back in my twenties I dieted and ran myself down to the supposedly 'perfect' size 8-10. Though I do say it myself, I looked fantastic but it was completely unsustainable and made me miserable. My body was crying out for me to eat more all the time and I thought about food and weight multiple times every single day.

Then I relaxed and let myself even out at a size 14-16, I am healthier and happier and while I might not look what is generally considered 'better' I find myself not caring all that much what other people may prefer me to look like, which has to be better, right?

Western society has tied itself up in so many knots over the size of women's bodies that its become complete madness. I've opted out, its lovely!

As for the original topic, my main deal breakers are men with cats (I'm allergic), men who want kids ( I don't) and men who are self centred (because I am too so it would be a disaster!). Hence being single and only going on about 2 dates a year to keep my hand in so to speak! :rotfl:

If you want to be overweight, that's your decision but don't make excuses about how healthy it is and how normal it is.

That's why the country is in the state we're in because people like you make out it's perfectly fine to be overweight

DavidF

Interesting replies. Also interesting is the few posters who have got themselves annoyed enough to post up criticizing others "deal breakers" ......Surely this type of behaviour falls into the intolerant of others views/opinions category.
Just because someone may post up as a deal breaker Too fat, Too thin, Religious, Non religious - Surely that is their prerogative and these posters should not be asked WHY....It is what they find attractive/unattractive - A fun question posed in a fun way according to the op.
All of the posters demanding to know why are proving that THEY are the intolerant and controlling one's lol.
My list - Im a male
Prefer them to be breathing
Sorry can't think of much more haha. Anyway in a long term relationship so not allowed to have a type now (Joke by the way)

Person_one

burlington6 wrote: »

If you want to be overweight, that's your decision but don't make excuses about how healthy it is and how normal it is.

That's why the country is in the state we're in because people like you make out it's perfectly fine to be overweight

:rotfl::rotfl:

Ok ok, I'll apologise for privatising all the public services, making brutal cuts to the ones that were left, trampling over workers' rights and creating a housing crisis, I only did it because I hadn't had a doughnut that day so I was in a bad mood...

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

Nah, not always. Years back in my twenties I dieted and ran myself down to the supposedly 'perfect' size 8-10. Though I do say it myself, I looked fantastic but it was completely unsustainable and made me miserable. My body was crying out for me to eat more all the time and I thought about food and weight multiple times every single day.

I'm the opposite. Being fat depresses me. My home and working environment is dominated by slim people so maybe that has something to do with it.

I'm a lot happier when I am slimmer.

BTW why do women tend to just quote dress sizes? It's pretty pointless without giving the height too. If a male is trying to convey their build to another male, it is usually in the format of "Six four and 14 stone"

Person_one

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I'm the opposite. Being fat depresses me. My home and working environment is dominated by slim people so maybe that has something to do with it.

I'm a lot happier when I am slimmer.

I suspect everybody has a right weight for them, that suits their body. For some it will be very slim, for others it will be bigger. You can tell very little about a person, or about their physical or mental health, just from the size and shape of their body.

Concerned75

Just reading these comments. Funny the difference between male and female. Males mainly appearance; female mainly personalities.
I'm female. For me it's deception, which covers lots of things.
Shorter than me.
Tattoos and smokers.

NBLondon

Peter333 wrote: »

I have to agree. That was an unfair thing for NBLondon to say. I mean how would he feel if someone said that someone who doesn't want children (like he doesn't) is an idiot?

I'd ignore them - they're entitled to their opinion and I'm entitled to dismiss them.

burlington6 wrote: »

Why? If that's what he like then good for him.

I'm sure most men have a "type" - the sort of body they are most likely to find physically attractive. I suspect many women do too (but perhaps fewer declare it). Most of us also have a personality element to their "type" - shy, confident, or whatever.


But I think someone who only has a physical element to their type and considers "not being in that limited specification" to be a deal-breaker is a shallow idiot - of any gender.


I'm not suggesting you're an idiot Peter333; clearly not since you go on to say:

Curvy is good, and so is slim, and even slightly overweight (like say Coleen Nolan who is around 3 stone overweight, but is a pretty and attractive girl.)

so you are open to a wider range of body types. I'm talking about the sort of bloke who says "I won't date anyone over size 10 or under 34D".


My ideal physical type looks rather like Christina Hendricks as Joan in Mad Men (but with natural red hair). I have never actually dated my ideal - but that hasn't kept me away from equally curved brunettes, chubby blondes and a skinny redhead. The All-American blonde cheerleader type I met at university wasn't interested in me.

burlington6 wrote: »

If a woman can say she will only date men taller than her she can't be a hypocrite when a man tells her she isn't for him because she's too fat.

Agreed. Works for all combinations of gender too. I can see that being a bit of an issue for taller than average women but of my 6 foot plus female friends - only 50% made it a dealbreaker.

AubreyMac

mark5 wrote: »

I think I prefer the old way, Is it like Facebook where no one looks like their profile picture?

Old way being meeting in a bar or at work?


I don't visit bars as I hate busy areas and I work with 100% females so that's a no-no.


I'm not sure about people not looking like their profiles as I'm not active on FB and have never tried internet dating yet (I'm not very sociable!). But surely if you put a stunning picture then the person will be very disappointed when you actually meet? I would never dream of putting a unrealistic pic of myself.

NBLondon

LameWolf wrote: »

Can I ask, how do you stand regarding people who, through illness, are no longer able to do things for themselves as they once did?
I ask because my increasing disability was certainly a major factor in the breakup of my first marriage (though to be honest, it was doomed from day one if I'd only seen it at the time - 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing!)

I was talking personality rather than physicality - the sort of woman who simpers and says "Oh I'm no good at" whatever to get someone else to do it for her. Who wants to move straight from "Daddy always sorted that out for me" to "Boyfriend sorts that out for me" without the intermediate stage of sorting out her own life.


Yep - there are male versions too. They want to go straight from "Mum does my washing" to "My bird does my washing".


Both types persist because there are partners who do accept that...


Your situation is different. Increasing dependence on a partner wasn't your choice was it? You may or may not have known at the start of the relationship that it was likely.


Hypothetically, if I was getting into a relationship where both knew that it was likely - wondering whether I could cope would be a part of deciding whether that relationship was going to work long-term. And that could be physical, emotional or financial dependence and could work both ways.