3.5 months 'dating'...

theoretica

I can see the temptation not to tell family - depending on the family. Some would start planning the wedding and baby names, or pressuring to live up to impractical ideals (look like a model while ironing his socks...).

Torry_Quine

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

I'm not sure if he will actually get a physical invite - he's been involved in helping plan other bits and pieces so I suspect he will just be expected to turn up.

C*F

If he isn't getting an official invite and they don't even know you exist they can't be going to invite you. The problem is him not telling them about you and only he can tell you why.

Made_Without

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

That must be very hard. Probably this wedding has just brought things to a head because if he had told his family about you then no doubt you'd have got an invite.

It's very rude of him to not even discuss it with you.

That's exactly it - I don't understand why he won't discuss it - I actually get total silence or deflection discussing some other trivial matter.

I don't really understand the secrecy - he's met member's of my family. I get that not all families are close / have 'sharing' relationships - but he sees his quite frequently - so I don't get why he hasn't mentioned me. I guess this makes me feel insecure and that he's not terribly serious about me...

C*F

PasturesNew

I think it's too soon. While 3.5 months seems a significant amount of time, it's not really - and he'd not want to have you invited and then run the risk of you dumping him between now and then and him looking a right lemon (not to mention the cost of guests).

Leave it. To not be invited is insignificant.

piglet74

Could he be married, or in a relationship?

Made_Without

piglet74 wrote: »

Could he be married, or in a relationship?

Not as far as I know :eek: ... I really don't think so.

C*F

Georgiegirl256

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

That's exactly it - I don't understand why he won't discuss it - I actually get total silence or deflection discussing some other trivial matter.

I don't really understand the secrecy - he's met member's of my family. I get that not all families are close / have 'sharing' relationships - but he sees his quite frequently - so I don't get why he hasn't mentioned me. I guess this makes me feel insecure and that he's not terribly serious about me...

C*F

From what you've put, that was my first thought, like he's hedging his bets. Hopefully not though, and it's just like people have said that he doesn't want 20 questions off his family.

Mojisola

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

So I guess I don't know if I am upset that I am not invited to the wedding or that he hasn't told his family about us.

Have you asked him whether he has kept every other girlfriend a secret from his family or is it just because the wedding was on the horizon when he met you and didn't want the dilemma of taking you/not taking you?

PasturesNew

I think 3.5 months is far too short a time for all this Spanish Inquisition stuff. It's all getting a bit bunny boiler now.

piglet74

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

Not as far as I know :eek: ... I really don't think so.

C*F

I hope not! My pals hubby had a gf behind her back, and this gf had wondered why she never got to meet his family or friends. I wouldn't mind if I was a secret gf for a really good reason, but if your new fella cant give you one I would be thinking he may already have a partner :eek: