3.5 months 'dating'...

ognum

I am happy to be totally wrong about this but are you the same race as your boyfriend.

I only ask this because it has a familiar ring about it to an incident in my family

My son (white British) has at one time a lovely girlfriend (Asian),they met at uni, she stayed with us, was always welcome but never,never introduced him to her family.

The mix of cultures was a complete no/no to her family and eventually they split up like many relationships do.

So, just wondering are their ethnic differences with you?

Made_Without

ognum wrote: »

I am happy to be totally wrong about this but are you the same race as your boyfriend.

I only ask this because it has a familiar ring about it to an incident in my family

My son (white British) has at one time a lovely girlfriend (Asian),they met at uni, she stayed with us, was always welcome but never,never introduced him to her family.

The mix of cultures was a complete no/no to her family and eventually they split up like many relationships do.

So, just wondering are their ethnic differences with you?

No ethnic differences - but perhaps you are right in the sense that he may have a more conservative family. Although as neither of us are spring chickens, so I'd be surprised if the family views influence him - perhaps I'm wrong about that :-/

C*F

jackomdj

Have you been to his house?

piglet74

I would be delighted if I was wrong too, but I fear he has a wife or gf already. Sorry cf, I hope I'm away off the mark xx

Made_Without

jackomdj wrote: »

Have you been to his house?

Yes, many times. Have a toothbrush there ...

C*F

piglet74

Chocolate*fish wrote: »

Yes, many times. Have a toothbrush there ...

C*F

I imagine I am wrong then x

Haylescom

Does he have a facebook account?
I hope this doesn't come across as scaremongering but thought I'd share what happened to me.
I'd been with my childhood sweetheart for 10 years when I was thrown back into the dating world, rather naive. I met a guy (online) who I got on brilliantly with. We went out regularly, were friends on facebook and he met my friends.
We decided to become an 'offical couple', although I'd never met his friends or family.
I went away for a short break and upon return didn't hear back from him for a few days. I decided to do some snooping and found a twitter account in a slightly different name, where he talked about his wife to be and 8 month old baby!
He was living a while other life, had created a second facebook page that was a complete lie; his friends on there were all other women (and some men) that he'd been stringing along as well!
I felt like a total muppet and that I really should've known something was off but I was completely oblivious to it.

Made_Without

Haylescom wrote: »

Does he have a facebook account?
I hope this doesn't come across as scaremongering but thought I'd share what happened to me.
I'd been with my childhood sweetheart for 10 years when I was thrown back into the dating world, rather naive. I met a guy (online) who I got on brilliantly with. We went out regularly, were friends on facebook and he met my friends.
We decided to become an 'offical couple', although I'd never met his friends or family.
I went away for a short break and upon return didn't hear back from him for a few days. I decided to do some snooping and found a twitter account in a slightly different name, where he talked about his wife to be and 8 month old baby!
He was living a while other life, had created a second facebook page that was a complete lie; his friends on there were all other women (and some men) that he'd been stringing along as well!
I felt like a total muppet and that I really should've known something was off but I was completely oblivious to it.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experience - I don't think you sound like a muppet at all - just a trusting person. It's a shame that this is such an undervalued and so frequently abused trait these days.

No we're not FB friends (he's on there but never uses it - and I've never seen him check it)... oddly enough we are connected on LinkedIn!

I really don' t think that this is the case here - but I respect that neither did you - and I definitely will be a bit more wary. I think the bottomline we need to have a conversation about these things and that is what he is reluctant to do... which leads to me feeling quite frustrated and getting annoyed.


C*F

piglet74

Its an awful shame that it happens so often these days, double lives, cheating etc.

Does he stay over at your house?

Do you go out together on dates, socially etc?

Made_Without

piglet74 wrote: »

Its an awful shame that it happens so often these days, double lives, cheating etc.

Does he stay over at your house?

Do you go out together on dates, socially etc?

Yes, he stays over at mine and we do go out (not sure I class them as dates - but that's probably a whole new thread where I'd be ranting about how 'Netflix 'n' chill' has ruined the art of dating) ... and he's comfortable holding my hand, giving me a quick cheeky kiss in public... which does all suggest that he's not trying to hide me away altogether.

I am trying to stay level-headed about this as far as possible. I guess my only real gripe is that I feel a little miffed that I haven't been mentioned to his family -as it seems like a natural thing for me to do - and has been the case in previous relationships.

C*F