Nice People Thread No. 15, a Cyber Summer

Masomnia

Fantastic news Sue I take it he has a while to decide?

I reckon go along to the interview, then he can really get to the bottom of what the course is like and get a feel for the town. It'll be one of those nice interviews where you're working out if it's the right place for you rather than the other way round.

I'm excited for him haha!

ivyleaf

SingleSue wrote: »

Offer from Lincoln! Unconditional!

Yaaaay! :T :T :T :T :T :T

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

2 hours and 40 minutes after UCAS sent youngest's application to his chosen universities, he received a very personalised email from York offering him an interview.

SingleSue wrote: »

York was his 3rd choice but after the email I think it has buttered him up a bit and he is wavering now for his top choice.

We really weren't sure if he fitted their standard student profile because of his GCSEs on top of doing a BTEC instead of A levels, so it was a pretty aspirational choice.

I suppose his upward trajectory over the last 2 years plus his research and his map (as in gaming map) design and development in the summer (his research and map development is completely independent of his college work) did the trick alongside a solid personal statement and what must have been a brilliant reference helped to get such a response in such a short time....they even said he was a exceptional candidate!

We're still pinching ourselves as it is such a shock to get that response, youngest even cracked a smile or two and there may even have been a tinge of excitement/pride in his voice :rotfl:

SingleSue wrote: »

And an offer of an interview at NUA this morning.

SingleSue wrote: »

Offer from Lincoln! Unconditional!

Thrilled for you and him, Sue, but not surprised. IME, universities absolutely love self-motivated independent workers like Youngest. They're wary of students who might have only worked at school because the teachers and parents were making them, and therefore may not bother to do much work at university.

LydiaJ

Advice please, if you would be so kind, from Sue and/or any other NP with experience of young people wanting to change their names.

DS asked about changing his surname (to my maiden name) when he was 10 (or thereabouts). I said he was too young to make that decision. I also said that he'd need my consent, and I felt that for me to give consent would be, in a way, consent on behalf of LNE as well, whose consent would have been needed if he were still alive, and that I didn't feel I should give consent on LNE's behalf to something that he wouldn't have wanted. (Does that make any sense at all?)

DS is now 16 and asking again. I have been looking it up online. There are various websites that claim to be "the UK's deed poll site" or similar, but there isn't one official one. Anyone who knows the rules can help you draw one up, or you can just do it yourself. If DS goes ahead with it, I'll get my solicitor brother to do what needs doing - it'll be legal without costing any money!

Anyway, these deed poll sites say that you have to be 16, but the gov.uk page on changing your name says you have to be 18. I am now officially confused! Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

I'm intending to switch back to my maiden name myself eventually, but not until both my kids are grown up. DD doesn't want to change hers.

SingleSue

From my understanding, mine were able to change their name with parental permission from age 16 but without parental permission from age 18.

Or at least, that was what it was when we checked it out for James and could have changed in the meantime. Mine didn't do it in the end although eldest has double barrelled his name unofficially. Somewhat weirdly, this is the second time tonight this subject has come up, youngest was asking how easy it would be to do.

This link may help

https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name

LydiaJ

Thanks Sue.

I did a bit more digging, and found a pdf buried deeper on the gov.uk site, clearly aimed at staff rather than the public, which confirms that young people aged 16 or 17 can change their own names, but if one of the parents doesn't like it, they can get a court order to prevent it. Once they're 18, of course, they can do what they like.

I get the impression that DS has been planning this for years, and is unlikely to change his mind. He feels he'd like to get it done before his GCSEs so his certificates will be in the name he's going to have for adult life.

For the purposes of illustration, let's say that my maiden name was Brown, and my married name is Green, so I was Miss Brown, and then Mrs Green, and then for many years used both Dr Green and Mrs Green depending on context, and have been Dr Green for all purposes since the almost-divorce.

The only Greens that DS knows are his grandparents. LNE was an only child, so my kids have no Green first cousins, and we don't see any of the more distant relations on the Green side. He knows loads of Browns, though - my dad (and until she died my mum), my 3 brothers, 3 sils, 4 nephews and 1 niece. He feels that being "a Brown" or "one of the Browns" is an identity that means something to him, whereas "Green" is just a name that doesn't give him a sense of belonging to anything. Actually, that's how I feel about it myself.

My plan until he sprung this on me was to continue being Dr Green until the children were both grown up, and then change to Dr Brown. If DS goes ahead with his plan to switch to Brown now, I'll need to talk to DD and see what she wants to do. She has much more positive feelings about LNE than DS does, and I'm sure she won't want to be just Brown. She might, however, like the idea of being Brown-Green. (Since the real names are not colours, they won't sound as ridiculous as that.) She went through a phase a few years ago of calling herself Brown-Green (with or without the hyphen) unofficially, and while she'll want to keep LNE's name, I suspect she may also want to have some commonality between her name and DS's. Anyway, we'll see what she wants when I discuss it with her.

If she does decide to be Brown-Green, I'll have no scruples about consenting. If LNE were alive, I'm sure he wouldn't mind her incorporating Brown into her name - it would have been ceasing to be Green that he wouldn't have liked. At the same time I'll change myself to Brown. Once both children have Brown somewhere in the mix, I can happily have my own name and still have enough of the same name as both children to be obviously their mother. If DD decides to stay with just Green, I think I'll stay Green officially, but start using Brown unofficially on some occasions - in particular when dealing with his school. (They're at different schools, so no confusion with having two children from the same family but with different names at the same school.)

The timing is quite good. We'll be staying with my solicitor brother over Christmas, so if DS goes ahead, we can get him to do the deed poll for free. DD will be more complicated, because of being a minor, but it's just a form you have to send off to a court with a fee of £36. It should be perfectly straightforward because I'm the only parent she's got living, so nobody's consent but mine is required.

As for me, it appears that while I could get a deed poll myself, I can alternatively just start using Brown, and the DVLA, bank etc should be perfectly happy if I show them my birth certificate, my marriage certificate, and LNE's death certificate, and say I want to go back to my former name. I'd prefer to do it that way, because I feel I'm choosing to call myself by an identity that I never actually lost, even when calling myself by LNE's name temporarily obscured it.

Pyxis

LydiaJ wrote: »

I get the impression that DS has been planning this for years, and is unlikely to change his mind. He feels he'd like to get it done before his GCSEs so his certificates will be in the name he's going to have for adult life.

That's such a good point.
Otherwise he'd have to keep producing his deed poll every single time he was submitting his certificates to someone, and that would be a pain.
I know someone that changed their name after they'd got their degree, and they found it was a real nuisance as their degree certificate was in their old name.

If he does it now, the only time he'd have to produce his deed poll is if he had to show his birth certificate for something.
(Initially he'd have to produce it for his passport, but once that's done, the passport renewals would be automatic).

And his name would already have been changed when he gets a driving licence, bank account etc.

GDB2222

There is no need for a deed poll. You can just decide to change your name, and that's it. Some sort of document might be helpful dealing with officialdom.

I know someone who had two children with her partner, who then unfortunately was killed in an accident. The children's surname was the father's, so in the end she changed her name to match theirs.

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

Pyxis wrote: »

I know someone that changed their name after they'd got their degree, and they found it was a real nuisance as their degree certificate was in their old name.

Slightly OT but it never fails to amaze me that I've never once, in my entire career, been asked to produce a copy of school certificates or my Uni degree for any employer.

I did once have to send in a certified photocopy of the degree certificate to an embassy for a work visa application... But that's it in 25 years.

GDB2222

I wonder where my GCE certificates are?:o