Should I feel bad for not wanting my boyfriend's mum at my "baby shower"?

Georgiegirl256

KxMx wrote: »

Everyone does things differently and everyone has a right to decide how things go in their own home, for goodness sake!
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Of course they have, no-ones saying otherwise. Just don't understand the anger behind it? Unless it's relentless that is!

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Of course they have, no-ones saying otherwise. Just don't understand the anger behind it? Unless it's relentless that is!

I think a bit more sensitivity/discretion is required with in-laws rather than your blood relatives.

I might have wandered into my sister's house unannounced and without knocking for example, and that would be fine because of the comfort level with siblings, but to me that changes when her partner moves in. He has the right to wander round his own home in his pants or leave dirty washing on the kitchen floor for a bit if he wants to, without having to worry that one of his in-laws might burst in at any second!

Jagraf

Kids turn up at their parents house unannounced all the time. But if it's the other way around you have to make an appointment lol.

maman

Jagraf wrote: »

Kids turn up at their parents house unannounced all the time. But if it's the other way around you have to make an appointment lol.

My grown up DDs both have keys to our house but they never use them unless they're sure we're not in.


So, they turn up unannounced but knock first. They wouldn't dream of just walking straight in even though they could.


DD1 lives locally so I do occasionally call round there unannounced but generally text first to check if she's in. DD2 lives 30 miles away so I'm hardly likely to call in there without checking first.


When I was a child I used to just wander into my grandparents' house without knocking as they only lived a couple of doors along the street. But I was a child then and I think that's different.

mummyroysof3

Would never turn up at someone's house without asking and expect same. I can't always hear door in our house and what if I'm busy or not in mood to entertain. Would feel awkward if I turned up and people busy and I disturbed them or they were out so it just doesn't happen with us.

meritaten

My kids and grandkids just walk in any time they like - so do the 'inlaws'. they are family, we don't expect them to make an appointment.
I just do not get why some people get so annoyed at people 'dropping in'.
I think there is a byelaw here that you do not pass someones house - you MUST drop in to see them otherwise theres trouble! lol

jumpingjackd

meritaten wrote: »

My kids and grandkids just walk in any time they like - so do the 'inlaws'. they are family, we don't expect them to make an appointment.
I just do not get why some people get so annoyed at people 'dropping in'.
I think there is a byelaw here that you do not pass someones house - you MUST drop in to see them otherwise theres trouble! lol

Lol if my mum ever found out Id passed her by when in the area (6 miles away) for a bit of shopping and bypassed her she was so annoyed! How I wish I could drop in on her today! instead of visiting the cemetery.

If I got a frosty reception visiting someone then I would never darken their doorstep ever again. And who knows there may come a day when they would appreciate a visitor

Jackieboy

When I was a child, my aunt and uncle used to occasionally drop round unexpectedly (no home phone) and we often used to sit very quietly so that they'd think we were out and go away.

tw1nklestar

I was at the birth of my grandson as my daughter was for all intense and purposes a single mum. Fast foward 8 years and she gave birth to prem triplets (all fantastic now) I am there to babysit when needed and when they all played swapping beds in hospital with chest infections I was the one she wanted at the hospital overnight when she was at home with the others. That being said I have not and do not call round to her house unannounced not because I would not be welcome but I would find it rude to go without an invitation. When the girls were in scbu I would nip in for 10 mins to give her a kiss and moral support busy myself with looking after my grandson or catching up on her washing. The girls have got multiple grandparents because of second marriages but it has all gone smoothly. I have not been able to read all of your thread but did see you mention about a breast pump - my daughter was lent one from scbu to come home and express milk for the girls. Hope you get a chance to enjoy and cherish the rest of your pregnancy. Oh and on birth day my daughter had a planned section - as soon as she was in a room i nipped in for 10 mins with grandson just to give her a kiss and so dgs could see his mum and then in the evening when the girls were stable i popped head round scbu door but did not stay as i was very aware that my dd had not had a chance to spend time with the girls x

pollypenny

Any if my friends who popped in were sensitive enough to see if I was too busy or it was inconvenient and leave.

If anyone calls when I'm ironing, I'm glad of the interruption,