worried my friend is preparing to marry a gold digger and he's besotted with her.

fitnessguy1

so my friend met this woman about a year or so ago and since then he's been spending a lot of money on her. he takes her to nice places , has bought a place for them both to live, spent 16k on a ring and 15k on a wedding dress.

she is very nose in the air and looks down on people. she wears tight clothes to show off her figure and generally gives off the air of a gold digger, but the problem is my friend is besotted with her.

i have tried mentioning he may be moving a bit too fast and i didn't believe she was in the relationship for the right reasons, but he brushes it off as nonsensical.

how do i convince him to hold off the marriage and take a step back to assess the situation? honestly, he isn't thinking logically right now. do i say nothing and leave him to get burnt, or try my best to convince him to see some sense?

one other thing to mention is the home he bought is going to be renovated and he lives with his parents at the moment. he has his own business, but she also has her own place and has never mentioned selling her home to put towards buying a place for them both.

gettingtheresometime

Perhaps they consider their finances to be a private matter and don't see what business it is of anyone else's ?


And for what it's worth if there was considerable less of me I'd wear tight figure hugging clothes as well

bluebeary

well I'm sure hes old enough to make his own decisions about his life, if you interfere your liable to fall out

if it all goes horribly wrong for him, hell know youll be there at the other end

BrassicWoman

people get married for all sorts of reasons. awesome sex is one, financial security another. If the are happy with their deal, let them be!

paddy's_mum

If you have already warned him of your fears, then you can do no more other than to step back.

However, I suspect that before long you can expect to no longer be his friend since few women would welcome your input into the couple's life in the future and if he is that "besotted" with her, he has almost certainly told her what you have said.

Your reasons for mentally destroying her reputation seem flippant to me but no doubt you know what is going on in their relationship better than they do.

I've been on the end of this kind of character assassination and I can tell you from experience that by the time the penny drops with one's accusers that you are not what they so gaily assumed at the beginning, it's too late to repair the destruction caused. Be warned!

FBaby

Absolutely nothing you can do, his life, his choice. Hopefully you are wrong in your assessment of your OH's friend and all will be well. If you were right, then hopefully they will divorce early enough then most likely they will get back to the position they were in before, that is of course if they don't decide to speed the kid in the way.

heuchera

An aunt of mine was always accused by certain family members of being a gold digger. In reality there actually wasn't much gold to dig, and frankly she'd have to have been desperate even if there was :rotfl:

LilElvis

Perhaps they have, as a couple, discussed the situation regarding owning two homes and have decided that the best option,for them, is to live in one and rent out the other.

It should make you happy as it means when the marriage fails she will have her own home to return to.

VfM4meplse

BrassicWoman wrote: »

people get married for all sorts of reasons. awesome sex is one, financial security another. If the are happy with their deal, let them be!

I am stunned. The implication being that the marriage is off when these aspects disappear. Whatever happened to:



Although how others choose to conduct their personal lives is none of my business.

Hermia

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

she is very nose in the air and looks down on people. she wears tight clothes to show off her figure and generally gives off the air of a gold digger, but the problem is my friend is besotted with her.

I didn't know wearing tight clothes is a sign of being a gold digger! :rotfl:Girls, we better start wearing kaftans on first dates then!

You haven't actually really provided any evidence she is a gold digger. You have provided evidence he is spending a lot of money, but maybe he enjoys doing that. It might not be sensible, but some men like to do that when they are loved up.

heuchera - I have an aunt who was still being called a gold digger even after twenty years of marriage and several years of nursing her husband through cancer. If she was a gold digger she would have earned it!

fitnessguy1

it isn't just me that thinks this, even his own mother and her partner thinks she is potentially using him for his money. he is spending a lot of money on her and this marriage and for him to not think logical about this having not been together for too long is disappointing and frustrating.

nothing i can do if he decides she is the one for him, but the red flags seem to be there. her attitude isn't one of wife material either with the way she acts like she's something special and with her nose in the air towards people. i would not be surprised if she's using him for money and seeing another guy/s on the side behind his back.