Milann's life keeps getting in the way.......

milann

Feeling a bit meh....what a strange world where you can’t go an comfort good friends that have been there for you. My friend’s  dad has passed away in Ireland and she is naturally upset but just as upset she can’t get over to organise the funeral as his eldest child. I’m itching to go over to see her and give her a hug.....we’ve been friends since we were 11 and I knew her dad well.....I might nip over and have a distanced chat to let her know I care. What a world we’re living in. I know it’s for the best and it’ll pass but doesn’t make it any easier right now.
On a more cheerful note the sun is shining but it’s really cold. Painter friend is putting lining paper on the walls so we’re getting there. We are going back to the building society to try and transfer money which wouldn’t go through yesterday.... 

Onebrokelady

I think this has been the hardest thing to come to terms with Milann. We haven't been allowed to hug distressed parents on our ward and it's awful. We lost a poorly child a few weeks ago and the nurse and doctor looking after her and her parents actually said sod the rules and gave them hugs, it's impossible to stand with a newly bereaved parent or anyone for that matter and not want to offer them the comfort of a good hug 😟

milann

It’s been a funny old day. I didn’t go to friends house but will do over the last few days. I’ll drag her out for a walk.  I figured she needed today to chat to relatives and let it begin to sink in. So I’ll be more use in a day or so.
We did go back to the building society and paid the money in that wouldn’t go through yesterday. It’s less than a 15 minute drive away. We walked along the high street there and bought a sandwich and sat on the bench to eat it. There was a lady busking and it was a lovely atmosphere. We had some time left on the parking ticket so walked along a different bit of canal only a short walk but it was lovely seeing a different place even though it was only a short walk - 10 minutes each way so that we didn’t overrun on our time.
😂😂I’ve just been scaring myself custom building a campervan......if only 😂😂😂 a girl can dream for a bit of escapism can’t she 👍

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear about your friend’s dad, so sad for her. She’s lucky to have you to look out for her and she’ll probably need you in the coming days/weeks. 

The rest of your day sounded lovely 😊 

milann

Thanks SA...it would have been so easy to stay in and wallow but I felt better for making the effort to do something. I even sewed a bit more of the chair. Sorry I started them now 😏 

Sunshine_girl2

Sorry to sorry to hear about your friends dad . I am going to my ex SIster in laws dad funeral on Monday as she is in Australia and obviously can't be here , she asked if I would represent her and feel it's the least I can do . I have no idea how she must feel not being here . Have a good weekend and get the chair finished we want a photo. 

milann

Hope it goes well SG2.
It must be awful OBL for the hospital staff not to be able to comfort relatives or each other for that fact. These are certainly strange times....

IzzyBee

Sorry to hear about your friends dad and your right she will definitely need you later on it’s always the same when things settle down and funerals are over and done with people get on where they left off and that’s when people need someone there 

HairyHandofDartmoor

We do live in very difficult times at the moment. It's an awful time to lose someone and yet so many people are 😥.

How do you feel about retiring due to ill health Milann now the decision is definitely made? I expect you have mixed feelings but it's good to have some clarity about your future.

I think I'd rather have savings to pay for my funeral than a funeral plan. I've told DH that I want a very simple inexpensive funeral when my time comes as he'd need money to live and an expensive funeral seems a waste of money. I'd be happy with a wicker coffin and a simple cremation. I think a humanist ceremony would be nice and perhaps a green burial. Morbid subject but it doesn't hurt to decide what you want 😂.

badmemory

There are advantages to paying for the actual funeral.  Mine is not an expensive one but is a humanist cremation.  All that isn't sorted are the flowers to go on the coffin.  It has enabled me to ask them to say something to my son at the time.  I could very well be next to last man standing, my son being the very last.  I didn't want him to have all the pressure of dealing with it when he already has some mental health issues.  Also if you have savings & you are entitled to any benefits then those savings reduce the benefits.  "Owning" a funeral does not.  You pay for your own care until your savings go down to a certain level.  Call it £25k (it isn't).  That means that the £25k can be shared between your beneficiaries according to your will.  If your funeral costs £2k then that leaves £23K to be shared.  Alright it isn't much but if money is very tight it can make a difference.

I think the main thing is to make sure that the funeral directors are reputable, if they are even if they close, & who has ever heard of a funeral directors going broke, they will pass on their liabilities to another one.

All I need to do now is make my son actually listen (& hear) when I point to the box file which says on the top "What to do if I can't myself!  So don't forget your power of attorneys!