Living with a hopeless spender.

madmoney_2

I second what maz has said, i feel for you i really do, my oh is exactly the same, live for today. As I write this he is sat on the settee carving, yes carving a bow and arrow!!! At least it didnt cost any thing this time, but saying that he spent 20 quid on friday on some shock laser gun thingy - me - jigs??

Anyway, just wanted to say regarding the job i really think you should go for it, it will bring your dfd forward aswell!!
Im in the same boat, but ive decided to take the plunge and just go for it, coz as maz said, u dont want to spend the rest of your time wondering what if

Hope ur doin ok, Im gonna sit down with oh on friday night when ds is in bed and discuss our future as Im sick of it myself hun

Good Luck in whatever you decide hun xx

supersavershal

Thanks madmoney and maz.I have looked at the financial side of the job today and I dont think I would be that much better off.I work 25 miles away and would have to pay about £30 in petrol, I would also lose the premium I get for working nights and weekends and thats before I pay for childcare.I would also lose some tax credits.OH thinks im making excuses, he says he can find a PT job (would he spend time playing with his toys at home).It also would take me an hour to get to work and an hour home so I wouldnt be getting home until 6pm and baby goes to bed at 7.I wouldnt hesitate to apply if it was closer to home.At the moment I work weekends so have the week free and I have been using that time to study and gain extra qualifications.I have also had to bring work home this week and OH is going mad, so how would he cope if I got the promotion as im sure it would involve bringing work home.I think I feel flattered that everyone thinks im capable of fullfilling the position and im sure when the time is right something will come up for me.
On the debt side of things we will be better off in 2yrs time as one of my loans will be paid and OH will no longer need to pay csa.Is 2 yrs such a long time? We can then throw that money at the big loan.I wont be getting into any more debt so I know things will only get better.
I did hear that the government is going to introduce Health Visitors to work with underprivelaged families from the 16 week of pregnancy until school age that would suit me down to the ground, I think il wait for that.

(Land_of)_Maz

Sounds like you might be making the right choices. I've just changed from a 50 mile round trip to something more local... i can fully understand where you are coming from.

Who's to say something similar might not come up closer to home. You've had your confidence boosted by this possiblity and i'm sure you would get a great reference from your current employer, they obviously rate you.

Financially it has to be worth your while when you consider your tax credits etc, as well as your time. So well done you for thinking it through. And tell your OH it's not looking for excuses, it's just the joys of womanhood! We have these dilemmas! And we do generally think before we act!!!

Loving your diary btw!

supersavershal

Thanks Maz.Today I did a very dfw thing my living room rug was getting a bit smelly and usually id have got the next directory out and ordered a new one.Today I lugged smelly one upstairs and scrubbed it in the bath, it took me about 2hrs (you should have seen the muck that came out) anyway scrubbed and scrubbed rinsed and rinsed and it came up good as new.My arms are aching but ive saved about £100 so im proud of myself. Im a new woman since coming here.OH thought it was hilarious but he was pleased I didnt order a new one (is he finally getting the message).Being a dfw is addictive.Iv also booked myself an agency shift next month so that will be about £90 towards christmas.so ive been really dfw today.Im going around with a big self satisfied smile on my face.

chevalier

hi shal
Hope things are going your way. Well done on being approached about the job even if you don't go for it! Shows that you are well respected and that is always nice to know.
And well done of the rug too. Saved money on a new one, AND a free work out too!
chev

OliveOyl_2

SSS, I've been enjoying your diary and your exploits. I reckon when you look back on these entries in a few months time you will enjoy seeing how far you have come :j

A few months ago, I was the spender and my OH bore the burden of our finances, (and without the aid of MSE:eek: ). Not sure why, but I offered to help, and had my own LBM. I was like your OH, I spent on credit, just because I wanted, OH never said no to me, but he must have winced everytime I came home with another purchase. To illustrate how bad I was, we have an event I want to dress up for next week, and I shall "shop" in my own wardrobe and wear something that at the moment still has its tags. (and I have a choice )

I cold-turkeyed in June, writing EVERYTHING down that we spent. What a lot of spurious shopping I had done before! It's all change in our household now:rotfl:

supersavershal

That sounds just like me Oliveoyl only OH used to join me in our spending sprees.For us spending was a hobby, thats why he cant understand that I want to stop it now.He is slowly getting there.What has amazed me is the amount of people I know who have admitted they too have debts.I wish they would have owned up sooner they would have saved me money.It was often their lifestyles I was trying to live up to, I wouldnt have bothered had I known they were living on credit too.A work colleague and I were laughing about all the different excuses we had used to avoid admitting we were in debt.she said she used to tell everyone in her family she was putting £150 away for each of her children (she has 5) each month for when they go to uni (the oldest is 7yrs old).She said this as they knew she had a good income and couldnt understand why she never had any money.I used to say I was overpaying my mortgage.Why couldnt we just admit we had debt? I have always been ashamed of my debt, even now i only admit it on here and to a couple of close friends because I know they have debt too.Not so long ago we used to laugh about how much we had consolidated each year, now I have sworn I will never consolidate again.

supersavershal

Today has been a funny day.Spent £19.26 in the co op.£10 was for electricity.But didnt seem to get much for the other £9.26 I bought a 2 litre carton of ff milk, ss milk and skimmed milk, a bottle of orange juice, a loaf, 2 bags of quavors, 2 milky bars and a jar of baby food.
Had to go to church, I am a beleiver but not devout its because our baby is being christened next month we are showing willing.Did the school run, and come home ....guess whats on the doorstep the next christmas directory.How mean is that, can I really resist it??
Also baby has just turned 9 months he is really big for his age and has outgrown all his 6-9 months so I need some new togs for him.Is there no way I can avoid spending money.
Im really getting mean, when did that happen.My mother used to say I knew the price of everything and the value of nothing.Im not going to do a big shop this week, the freezer has lots of potential.Im just going to buy bread and milk etc.DS is moaning there is nothing in to eat, interpret this to there is not rubbish for him like chrisps, bisciuts and chocs.

chevalier

Have a look on your local freecycle group www.freecycle.org. You have to register first, but that is free. There are quite often people giving away baby clothes on there for FREE. All you have to do is go and pick them up.:D :j
And often in charity shops they don't know what to do with the baby stuff so have 50p and item baskets. Bargain!

hope this helps
chev

supersavershal

Thanks chevalier I will try that.I tried to get on freecycle before but it involved emailing people and things to join Il have another look.I havnt brought the next christmas book in yet, dont think I trust myself.Maybe someone will steal it off the doorstep if I leave it long enough.