Living with a hopeless spender.

chevalier

Hi SSS
glad to hear that OH is coming on board a bit at least. And well done for not splurging on the cards ref the decorating. Don't know about the other stuff, but keep posting here, WE don't judge (well not very often anyway)!
chev

supersavershal

Well I thought I would update.
Christmas was hard OH is weekly paid and the week before christmas he got 3 weeks wages he wanted to spend, spend, spend I had to keep reminding him it had to last us for a fortnight.We did splurge a little bit but I feel we kept our spending lower than usual.
The funny thing was we still had a lovely christmas even though we didnt buy over the top presents for each other.
I have been meal planning and writing shopping lists and that has helped a lot.
I dont get paid for another 2 weeks (last pay day 20 Dec) and our personal challenge was to get through January without touching the credit cards and so far we have managed that.Although we have a loan coming out on Monday for which I was about 50 quid short but SIL was short today for her petrol so I lent her 20 quid out of the loan money and on Friday when she gets paid she is giving me the 20 back and lending me the 50 I am short until payday so I think wev done ok, thank god for family.
This time last year I was about £300 short for my direct debits, had bank charges and an empty freezer so allthough I havnt paid off enormous amounts I have stopped spending ridiculas amounts and have organised my finances so I have surplus at the end of the month.
I was really proud that when I wanted an exercise bike I got one from freecycle, last year I would have bought one (the best model) from a top store on the credit card.
OH is still a worry to me but hes getting there, I feel so much more relaxed these days.

Verbatim

Thanks for updating. It's great to hear that things are going so well for you.

I wish you well and hope that 2008 sees your debts tumbling down fast.

PENNYWISE_3

Hiyah

I've read your diary for the first time today & really enjoyed it. Wow, what a lot of progress you've made in a short time!:j If you're ever feeling down about things just look back at those first few posts & realise how far you've come. Good on ya.

I used to go out with someone that could spend spend spend on nothing in particular, ended to show for it except for more a dvd collection to rival Blockbuster! :rotfl: so i know how you feel! Now i've got a bf who's a lot more money savvy than me so it's helping to curb my spending somewhat, although I do still think to some extent what's the point in working if you can't buy some of the things you want? (within reason & personal budget of course before anyone shouts at me, lol)

Keep up the good work & keep us updated

supersavershal

Why does everything go pear shaped.
In December I realised I was not putting correct hours on time sheet, I rectified it and came out £90 better off in January.I was feeling pleased that I broke even in Jan for the first time in about 7 years.All was going well, extra money was going to buy my baby a new much needed car seat then off the debt next month.
Then was having a wash and my bathroom sink literally fell off the wall and cracked into 4 pieces, I got soaked bathroom was flooded and now I need a new sink and a plumber to fit it.Tonight I put DS uniform in washer dryer to dry and the dryer is blowing cold air.When I think im getting ahead everything goes wrong.
OH has been overpaying csa and they want him to pay extra, they seem unable to sort it out, how can you owe money when you have paid too much.
I dont even want to mention the glass in front door needing replacing.
Its like 2 steps forward and four steps back.
Sorry I just wanted to vent my frustration.

moanymoany

Here is the bad news - most marriages and relationships break up because of financial matters and disagreements over spending.

Why should you have to play 'mummy' to a man who behaves like a little boy with money. You have an uphill struggle to make him into an 'adult'. In time his stupid and childish behaviour will wear you down. How many posts on here begin with ... 'My EX used to be like this'... Note the number of EX's there are.

I earn the money I should get to spend it as I want......

People who worry about money are stupid...............

Everyone has credit card debt.............

You're just trying to control me...............

Stop nagging................

And on - and on - and on - what happens to you in the end? Depression and debt. Worry, worry, worry - is anything worth that? Shape up or ship out is the message I would send. I don't believe you can give someone a light bulb moment, it is something they have to come to themselves and you know what? Some people never do!

marksandsparksgal

Hi Shal,

Just wanted to add my 2 cents in and send you a big hug, you sound like you definitely need one!

All I can say with the sink/bathroom fiasco, is that yes, it'll set you back a while, but you've been doing so well, so don't beat yourself up too much about it, it's not like you can be without a functioning bathroom for ages, so sadly it's something that has to be done, and will put you even more into the frame of mind to beat your other debts, perhaps maybe even your OH too?

Apart from that you deserve a nice cup of tea, and a bloody medal!

xXx

Princess_Jane

Hello,

My OH had loads of debt when we met as he had a v well paid job, was made redundant, took a year off a blew 25k on NOWT!

When I met him the bank had closed down his bank account, he had three defaults on his credit file and had bank charges in four figures.

It's taken some time but he now has a basic account, the defaults should be off in a few years, we have a house (with help from his parents) and the bank charges were reclaimed and used to pay off debts.

Now he nags me about spending money outside of budget and is ultra-strict when we are food shopping.

It can be done, it just takes time.

Eventually seeing me grafting my !!! off and paying off all my debts rubbed off on him I think, and hopefully it will on your OH.

Jane

supersavershal

Well we were doing ok, paying a little extra off debt.Finaly got the sink sorted. Said to the hopeless spender yesterday that the car felt a bit funny he said it was fine got up this morning and front tyre is flat as a pancake, my lovely dear brother came to change it for me and the wheele nuts witll not shift, not for love nor money.I dont know what to do now I think il have to get a proffessional out so that will blow the budget.
There is always something, a small job always turns into something big.The hopeless spender is at work im really annoyed if he had listened last night I could have got this sorted now im stuck.I know what he will say, hel say put it on the credit card.
I rang him and he reckons he will get the wheel nuts off, but dear brother is very strong and fit and he couldnt shift them.OH is pushing 40, smokes 20 a day and takes no exercise, cardiac city!
I feel very stressed now, its two steps forward and three back for me.
Thats my grumble for the day.

supersavershal

I havnt posted on here for a while so I thought I would update.
The hopeless spender is getting better at managing money, he still has the odd lapse but is on the whole 100% better, he even reighns me in now.
Christmas was a test but we managed to do it without using the credit cards, we bought each other token gifts.
We have recently been able to do our garden up just be using our wages and no credit.
I did have to buy the children some new summer clothes as both had outgrown last years, OH told me off for going to next, he actually said George would probably be cheaper.I suppose he is right but the next clothes wash really well and when DSs are done with them I usually get a good price when I sell as a bundle on ebay so I get some money back.
I sold my pram, it broke my heart, although Im not planning any more children I love that pram and in the past would have held on to it for years.When my first son was the babys age he had 4 prams, one for walking, one for car, one for grandparents to use and one because I liked it.
My kitchen cupboards and freezer were full last week so we decided not to do a big shop, this was a mistake.I went to local shops supposedly for bread and milk and ended up spending £60 in a week.
On a positive note I have paid my lloyds tsb loan off! It has taken 6 years but it is finally gone.
My car is due its MOT this month, Im hoping it wont need much doing to it.
My plan is to pay the MBNA card off next and vertbaudet.There is no overtime available at work but OH has been getting some with all the bank holidays.
I feel OK at the moment because we are managing to pay everything and live a decent life.
DS recently started Karate and that has cost us a fair bit for suit, licence, membership and weekly fees but he loves it and is doing well and its good exercise.