Living with a hopeless spender.

nimbo

well done on the loan ending, it always feels so good when a debt drops of the list...

good luck with the car, and it sounds as if it's finally sinking in with OH...

Verbatim

Great to hear how you're doing. Fantastic that your ds is doing well with the karate. Hope the car sails thro' its MOT, after the sink etc you deserve some good luck.

Are you managing to put some money away for the irregular and annual stuff like MOT, xmas/birthdays, clothes/haircuts, insurance.....
There's always a temptation to stick it on a card if not.

Marker_2

For the last 3 years my OH was crap with money, now after alot of drama in our life he has finally woke up - I have all the cards, he has a savings acrd i transfer pocket money for him. I allocate all the money to pay off this of save up for that!

Im pretty good with money so seem to be able to buy us the nice things in life while paying off chunks here and there, granted our debt is not very much, but still.

So I suggest YOU take control of the finances, take his cards off him and give him pocket money every week or month that is his solely to spend on himself (and/or his toys ).

Good luck, he will wake up one day, but may take a few arguments and ways to see the light until he does change his ways!

supersavershal

The hopeless spender has gone to the pub tonight to watch the match, he has his £20 pocket money but Ive told him I have no money for work for him tomorrow.He gets his lunch so its just money for drinks etc.
I did go to local shop and buy pringles and galaxy and it cost £4.04 what a rip off, I shouldnt have done it but I wanted to treat DS he has been so good lately.
OH gets paid tomorrow I need to do an online shop, im hoping to go to local market for fruit and veg and the butchers for some meat so hoping to spend no more than £35 on online shop with cleaning stuff included.
Im going to a mates leaving doo tomorow, my meal will cost £10.00 and I will be drinking diet coke as im driving.Im just worried though because in the past ive been to these things and at the end of the night they end up splitting the bill equally between the number of people there, and as I have only a main meal and dont drink alcohol I end up paying more than I would have individually.I feel a miser pointing this out.
How do I get around that without looking mean?

Turtle

I find this a real bug bear as well. What I would usually do is say (before anything is ordered) that you're a bit short and is everyone ok with just paying for what you've had. If I don't do this I always end up stewing over the person who ordered the dearest steak and 3 glasses of wine when I've had chicken and water. No-one has ever said no to this and if they talk behind my back I don't care. i can't hear them! It's always hardest the first time but you've faced harder when you've had to confront OH so you can do it! Besides, didn't you say they were all in debt too? I'm sure they're all thinking the same thing and will be greatful that you've brought it up. Good luck.

jak

I agree. I have a problem with this too but last time we went out for dinner I just said I wanted to pay for my own. I find it a bit embarrassing to be honest but I get really worked up otherwise! You should just be honest and say you aren't drinking so can you just pay for your own meal and drinks.
J
X
Good luck
X

SarahNeedle1872

This is somethign that annoys me as well, which is why whenever we go out, we always try to go somewhere with a set menu, that way we all know in advance how much it is gonig to be. Tomorrow night we're off out to somewhere that does a set menu for £14.50, which I don't think is too bad, then if people wanna drink wine they can.....I'll just be on the soft stuff, as that will make it cheaper (and stop my head from hurting in the morning! )

supersavershal

The hopeless spender has cocked up big time, he has stood on my laptop and cracked the screen.It isnt insured, I have my DS laptop insured as I expect a child may accidently damage it but not a grown man.
I am livid.
On the plus side I have received £800 from tax credits following my renewal, I rung them up because I didnt want to pay it back if it is a mistake but they said I am entitled.They underpaid me last year when I went back after mat leave.
The hopeless spender cannot contain himself, he wants to buy all kinds of wii games and stuff, I might let him have 1 game but I have this morning paid a big chunk of my credit card, and my gas bill as they were threatening legal action if I didnt pay
My car insurance was due next week and they rang me to see if I was happy with the quote, it was £50 more than last year.I said I wanted to search on line to make sure that I couldnt get it down and they agreed to match last years quote and upgrade to gold legal cover.Is the insurance industry suffering?
We went to a family function at the weekend and that cost a fair bit, the children needed new shoes and the hopeless spender had to have a new shirt and trousers as he has put a bit of weight on, forgot to say he went out last week and got himself a mountain bike, he thought it was OK as its on interest free credit for 6 months but then it is 27%APR.I will pay it off before the six months is up, I suppose it costs him £10 a week in petrol fees so we will be better off in the long run, its just the fact that he did it without discussing it with me.
We have decided not to go on holiday this year as it would only put us more in debt.We will book a holiday in September for next year and pay it off each month.

supersavershal

Just a quick update, OH has bank charges of £71 coming out next week, im reallly annoyed about this but its my fault I took money out and forgot a dd was due out.
Have BT our BOS card to city as they were doing a 0% deal.This saturday is DS birthday so I need to sort out the money for his present and OH taking him out for day as im working.
But I have paid off my lloyds loan, so there is £35 a month extra and when I close my account with them I will have another £7.50 so that will help.
Have booked next years holiday, I know I shouldnt be doing this as we have debt but we need a holiday and you have to balance life.I will be saving to pay it and not using credit.I have paid the deposit of £100 and £500 is due in October, I have £50 in paypal account so thats a start.
I have bought DS school stuff so he is done.

supersavershal

I had a crap night at work last night, there was a horrible abusive man and I could do without it.I have been signed up for two courses so that will be 16 hours overtime that money will go off the MBNA card and it will be paid off (again) this time I am going to close the account.They put my interest rate up to 29% and then sent me an offer of a homeowners loan with an apr of 15% they must think im crackers!
OH of course was all for it, he only needed to see the offer of £15000 and didnt even look at the apr.Some things never change.
Ive not spent much today bought 2 pints of milk and toilet roll and baby wipes.