Mum's moved in with us - paying her board?

heuchera

Some parents charge their kids to live there, and it looks like some kids charge their parents! I suppose I can understand it if someone is eating you out of house and home and you're brassic, but honestly I wouldn't have parents or in-laws living with me regardless of money. Unfortunately I've seen how much trouble it causes!

Alleycat

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Parents are parents, vainites apply.

The OP appears to conveniently ignore the benefit the mother has been to her in the past, or will be in the future. I bet having her mum staying at home will save a stack in childcare costs, if not allow the OP to go out and earn a living herself?

The OP was a child when she was being fed and watered by her mum so hardly in a position to contribute financially.

It can be a real strain financially when someone (even a parent) comes to stay with you and sometimes you do need to ask for some sort of contribution towards the increased costs.

When my MIL moved in with us for 3 months, our food, heating and electricity bills jumped enormously. She was home all day as she was housebound and due to her health issues and the time of year, the heating was on almost permanently and the TV too. Whilst we would have loved to have been able to absorb the increased costs, we just couldn't manage it. My MIL was able to contribute and appeared glad to as well. She wasn't able to do much around the house but this was something she was able to do and I think it gave her a sense of value and pride.

ecgirl07

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Parents are parents, vainites apply.

The OP appears to conveniently ignore the benefit the mother has been to her in the past, or will be in the future. I bet having her mum staying at home will save a stack in childcare costs, if not allow the OP to go out and earn a living herself?

Again presumptions, maybe mum is a lady who has a full social life and no wish to cook clean or childcare.

I would imagine in this situation I would have to charge my mum digs otherwise she would not move in regardless of what "chores" she decided to do. The OP needs to sit down with her mum and talk it through and find a suitable amount.

missbiggles1

I bet most parents would far rather pay their own way rather than be an unpaid skivvy for their children and grandchildren as some people are suggesting.

GwylimT

I for one wouldn't be willing to freeload off anyone, especially not my children, clearly some are happy to do so.

It might be easier to give it a couple of months (if you can afford it) to see how much spending increases utilities, food bills etc and use that to work out a figure for board.

Alikay

VfM4meplse wrote: »

The OP appears to conveniently ignore the benefit the mother has been to her in the past, or will be in the future. I bet having her mum staying at home will save a stack in childcare costs, if not allow the OP to go out and earn a living herself?

But we don't know the specifics do we? You're making lots of assumptions about the past, present and future.

VfM4meplse

Alikay wrote: »

But we don't know the specifics do we? You're making lots of assumptions about the past, present and future.

To me it's simple. Patents looked after you, you pay them back in kind because you want to, not because of some misplaced sense of duty.

suki1964

Mum and step dad moved in with us when we bought this house

This house is too big for just the two of us. Mum ( and step dad when he was alive) have two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a sitting room for their own use

The set up was they lived independitly of us,paid half the rates and electric bill


Mum is on her own now so I feed her, pay the bills etc. However she still pays half the rates. This is only because we would never have bought a house so big with such huge rates if they weren't with us.

She still buys her own personal spends. But no I don't " charge " house keep. If I'm cooking for two, it's just as cheap to cook for three

heuchera

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I bet most parents would far rather pay their own way rather than be an unpaid skivvy for their children and grandchildren as some people are suggesting.

Well, it's not really unpaid if they are not having to pay living costs. They are contributing in ways other than financial, in exchange for free board, so to speak. My granny used to help mum cook and clean and look after the children, and we wouldn't have dreamed of charging her rent! She didn't want to live on her own so she lived with us.

The problem in our case was the lack of personal space (especially from my mum's point of view) and my gran interfering in matters that were really none of her business.

missbiggles1

suki1964 wrote: »

Mum and step dad moved in with us when we bought this house

This house is too big for just the two of us. Mum ( and step dad when he was alive) have two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a sitting room for their own use

The set up was they lived independitly of us,paid half the rates and electric bill


Mum is on her own now so I feed her, pay the bills etc. However she still pays half the rates. This is only because we would never have bought a house so big with such huge rates if they weren't with us.

She still buys her own personal spends. But no I don't " charge " house keep. If I'm cooking for two, it's just as cheap to cook for three

That isn't really true though. Three chops or chicken pieces rather than two, six sausages rather than four - basic logic.