No friends or family

pandora205

Here are a few ideas:

evening classes - I do an art class and there are quite a few of us who have been doing it for a while, so the social events are coming
gym class - again this takes time to get to know people but eventually (in a small friendly gym) it does happen
other group activity - I go to Rock Choir which is incredibly sociable and covers all ages and we've done some amazing things (such as singing at the NEC). I've also recently joined Rambers (they also have under 40s groups)
activity holidays - I've done lots of skiing and a couple of painting breaks/holidays - many people are on their own

Useful companies (if you have some money to spare) are:
Authentic Adventures
SpiceUK (lots of social and activity days and holidays etc)
Exodus

Jackzzz

tomtontom wrote: »

You do seem a little hung up on having money. I have friends that are far wealthier than me and others that have very little, we still have plenty to talk about and do together. If someone asks about work you can tell them about it without mentioning your income.

I would agree on the volunteering suggestion, it might help give you a more balanced outlook. Plus I find those that volunteer tend to be very welcoming to newcomers, it's a great way to meet new people.

I'm fine with doing low cost activities as well, like just going for a drink at a bar or something. Doesn't have to be expensive activities although it would also be nice to have some people to go on holidays with.

zagfles

Why do you think you can't go on holiday alone? Loads of people go on holiday alone. I have loads of friends and family and I love going on holiday alone, in fact I prefer it! Stay in hostels, and you'll meet loads of other solo travallers and don't assume hostels are all grubby smelly places with just dorms where you have to do a chore etc, you can usually get private rooms, even en-suite with maid service in some.

The great advantage is they usually have lounge/kitchen areas where travellers meet for a chat and exchange experiences/tips and sometimes arrange to do stuff together etc. People are so much more friendly than in hotels, even those who aren't travelling alone.

Maybe try Europe first, but the best place I've been alone is Australia, I went there for 3 weeks alone the first time and was never lonely, most people are there on a year's working holiday and the vast majority are on their own. Always someone to talk to, go out for a meal with, even arrange short trips with.

Maybe try a city trip to Europe first, somewhere like Barcelona or Budapest, do walking tours, some do evening pub tours where you'll meet people from round the world...

See the travel board there are loads of threads about solo travel but perhaps ignore the latest one as it's turned into a bit of a flame war!

mark55man

I would say - talk about her!! hint you have a technical job that you cant really talk about, and concentrate on building some fun things - biking, boating, going to NY!!

Also don't make stuff up - but you seem to be hard on your uni experience. Talk about the town you were at, the people you knew - you must have a few things that make you smile and or cringe

also some people live off their anecdotes, others live of the current - so just read up on a few things - politics, pop, fashion and above all don't think you have to go in with nobel prize winning ideas, or pullitzr winning stories, just something light something local

Mojisola

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

Do you have any hobbies or special interests that you can use to get you out and about?

One of my relatives met her husband on a week's cookery holiday - you get more chance to socialise with the other participants than during evening classes and you all start with at least one interest in common.

There are loads of options to chose from - not just cookery.

duchy

I work from home and do understand it's very easy to become lazy about socializing and even getting out of the house.

Get hold of your local paper and sign up to meet up and see what kind of things are going on - right on your doorstep.

Part time bar work is a good idea too -as you will be working conversations are easier to start as you have work to talk about first .....and then it tends to move on from there - likewise a volunteer project where you go to do something as a group like tending a wildlife area for example again there aren't those long silences because you are doing an activity and chatting whilst doing. You can reactivate your chatting skills gradually that way rather than feel you have to "perform".

tomtontom

Jackzzz wrote: »

I'm fine with doing low cost activities as well, like just going for a drink at a bar or something. Doesn't have to be expensive activities although it would also be nice to have some people to go on holidays with.

People on lower incomes have holidays too

Jackzzz

Thanks again for all the advice. I assumed the people that go on holidays solo do so because they don't want to be disturbed and they just want to do what they want in their own time?

If I do go into a bar for a quick drink during lunchtime I always see groups of like 3 or 5 people and I just wonder how these people know each other. Is it through work? Hobbies? Childhood? Uni?

Poppie68

When my sister and friends took a year out to travel they met several others in Australia who were lone travellers... what started out as a group of 6 ended up a group of approximately 20....Get yourself to a reputable travel agents who can help you plan a trip that would most probably change your life.

duchy

Jackzzz wrote: »

. Sure I can tell them about my trades but that's often seen as bragging.

Then there comes the problem of if I do make friends, I kind of have to have friends that earn a similar wage to me, not that I am stuck up or anything but it would also be awkward if any friends I make can't afford to do things with me. I really really want to go to new york for example, not a cheap trip.

.

You clearly care about money - and think it makes a difference but it only does if you let it !

I've holidayed with friends who have more money than me - and others who have less. Sometimes it means we compromise - a trip to New York for example . I could choose to go alone, travel business class and stay at a five star hotel........or I could go with friends , fly economy and stay in a more modest hotel. We will still see the same Central Park, go up the same Empire State Building etc but the sharing of the experience makes it far more enjoyable. Likewise you can afford a overpriced french restaurant and go alone tonight.....or you could go to Pizza Express with a group of friends and have an evening of chat and laughter.

Having money gives you more choices but sometimes the company is more important than how you spend. If you allow money to isolate you then it's probably not worth having.

The more you broaden your social circle the broader the selection of incomes are likely to be -and it goes from there.

I've had friends who worked in trading and when they talked about their successes I'd glaze over......not because I thought they were bragging but because numbers are a mystery to me - and it just doesn't interest me - but then I don't talk to my partner in any detail about MY work- I work in IT -and frankly if I started going on about the physical workings of my job he'd be baffled - so we talk about other things that interest us both.