No friends or family

Jackzzz

Afternoon everyone. It's taking me a lot to make this thread so please no trolls.

I'm 27 and don't have a single friend I can call to go for a drink, something to eat, watch a movie or just hang out. I think I'm starting to get depressed now. I used to be content with it but now I'm really starting to feel it. I am an only child, my father left when I was young and my mother passed away when I was 20 so I have no family. Well I have a aunt an uncle but I've not seen or heard from them since my mothers funeral.

At uni I made friends with quite a lot of people and really enjoyed the experience although after uni, everyone just went their separate ways and as a result, never hear from any of them. I worked after leaving uni but struggled to make friends with my colleagues, sure I spoke to them at work but never really bonded with anyone and so never did anything outside of work.

I quit my job and started forex trading at home and make more than I even dreamt possible but it's worthless because I can't really spend the money. As a result I spend everyday in my home, by myself and have no opportunity to meet new people and I'm getting very lonely. I do find it very difficult to meet new people but once I know them it's fine.

I can't go on holiday because I have nobody to go with, I can't eat at a restaurant because I'm there by myself and it's awkward, my home is large but empty, my car never has passengers and whenever I go to get my hair cut or something I always get asked what I've been upto and I just never have a response because my life has nothing in it apart from trading. I have no stories to tell anyone... ever. Sure I can tell them about my trades but that's often seen as bragging.

Then there comes the problem of if I do make friends, I kind of have to have friends that earn a similar wage to me, not that I am stuck up or anything but it would also be awkward if any friends I make can't afford to do things with me. I really really want to go to new york for example, not a cheap trip.

I've thought about getting another job just to get myself mixing with others again but then I can't trade... or I was thinking about going back to uni but I'm 27, pretty old compared to the 18 and 19 years old that will be there.

What does one do in my situation? I understand there are people that have it much worse and you're probably thinking I have money so what am I complaining about right? Well I never believed it before I had money but trust me, money creates ease, not enjoyment.

Any advice is much appreciated.

Mojisola

Jackzzz wrote: »

What does one do in my situation? .

Find an charity whose aims you agree with and volunteer for them.

missbiggles1

Jackzzz wrote: »

Afternoon everyone. It's taking me a lot to make this thread so please no trolls.

I'm 27 and don't have a single friend I can call to go for a drink, something to eat, watch a movie or just hang out. I think I'm starting to get depressed now. I used to be content with it but now I'm really starting to feel it. I am an only child, my father left when I was young and my mother passed away when I was 20 so I have no family. Well I have a aunt an uncle but I've not seen or heard from them since my mothers funeral.

At uni I made friends with quite a lot of people and really enjoyed the experience although after uni, everyone just went their separate ways and as a result, never hear from any of them. I worked after leaving uni but struggled to make friends with my colleagues, sure I spoke to them at work but never really bonded with anyone and so never did anything outside of work.

I quit my job and started forex trading at home and make more than I even dreamt possible but it's worthless because I can't really spend the money. As a result I spend everyday in my home, by myself and have no opportunity to meet new people and I'm getting very lonely. I do find it very difficult to meet new people but once I know them it's fine.

I can't go on holiday because I have nobody to go with, I can't eat at a restaurant because I'm there by myself and it's awkward, my home is large but empty, my car never has passengers and whenever I go to get my hair cut or something I always get asked what I've been upto and I just never have a response because my life has nothing in it apart from trading. I have no stories to tell anyone... ever. Sure I can tell them about my trades but that's often seen as bragging.

Then there comes the problem of if I do make friends, I kind of have to have friends that earn a similar wage to me, not that I am stuck up or anything but it would also be awkward if any friends I make can't afford to do things with me. I really really want to go to new york for example, not a cheap trip.

I've thought about getting another job just to get myself mixing with others again but then I can't trade... or I was thinking about going back to uni but I'm 27, pretty old compared to the 18 and 19 years old that will be there.

What does one do in my situation? I understand there are people that have it much worse and you're probably thinking I have money so what am I complaining about right? Well I never believed it before I had money but trust me, money creates ease, not enjoyment.

Any advice is much appreciated.

Of course you can go on holiday alone and go out to restaurants! I still do it in my 60s and have been doing it for 40 odd years.

mad_spaniel

Look up and reach out to old Uni mates on Facebook?
Try internet dating ?
Look up solo traveller holidays on the internet or go to a travel agents and ask about holidays for solo travellers ?
Get a part time job where you meet people e.g. working behind a bar, working hours to allow continued trading ?

krlyr

Group holidays, you may meet new friends.

Hobbies, volunteering, part-time job.

'Meetup' groups, FB groups, etc.

Ever fancied a dog? Forces you out of the house and gets you meeting other people, especially if it's a cute puppy! Obviously only a choice if you want a dog and can provide for it, of course.

27 isn't that old to go back to education. I started an evening class at 24, I've made two really good friends through it. Evening classes often consist of older students, so may be an option to think about instead of Uni.

Jackzzz

Thanks for the responses. Part time bar work sounds like a decent idea, plenty of people to talk to. I guess the hardest part for me is having something to talk about with the new people I meet... All I've done for the past 3 years really is trade so I don't have loads of cool fun stories to tell people.

Even if I did meet a women on a date, what on earth would I talk about?

tomtontom

You do seem a little hung up on having money. I have friends that are far wealthier than me and others that have very little, we still have plenty to talk about and do together. If someone asks about work you can tell them about it without mentioning your income.

I would agree on the volunteering suggestion, it might help give you a more balanced outlook. Plus I find those that volunteer tend to be very welcoming to newcomers, it's a great way to meet new people.

mark55man

Evening classes or charity work

Having a dog and walking it gets you talking to a lot of people, but how many poo bag, "isn't she sweet" conversations would it take before you get bored

YORKSHIRELASS

I feel for you. I have lots of acquaintances, people I know through work, people I see at the gym, people I meet at my dog walking group. What I struggle with is taking these acquaintances into real friendships. I am naturally shy and scared of getting to close to anyone.

The trouble with clubs, gyms, work etc is that you tend to see people, chat for a short while then go your separate ways. It not always easy to make real friendships this way.

I think volunteering is a great idea if you pick your charity carefully. A lot of volunteering is done by retired people and these are not necessarily the people you are going to bond with. However, volunteering also attracts people who do it because they can afford not to work so you might find like minded people that way. Look at do-it.org for ideas.

I also think you need to get your head around the idea that you can go on holiday, eat out etc on your own. My sister met her husband on a singles holiday and she was terrified of going to begin with.

Deep_In_Debt

There's singles holidays groups - Solos Holidays and Friendship Holidays I think.

I'm a member of several Meetup groups and regularly go out on events with them and many of the same people attend the same events so you get to know them as well as meeting new people.

Do you have any hobbies or special interests that you can use to get you out and about?

Try volunteering and meet people that way?

selement

Getting some interests/hobbies might be good for you.

Have you considered a meetup group? The whole point of them to to meet new people with similar interests! I've been tempted to try out a board game one near me but haven't made the effort yet...

Is there a new activity you could try? Perhaps a martial art class, or something creative, something that will put you in a group with others. Even if these people don't become your friends it'll create new experiences to talk about to others and you'll seem far more interesting to people if you have a few interests!

ETA: sorry DeepInDebt didn' tmean to basically say the same thing as you! Didn't see your post till I posted. We must be thinking alike.