Frump to Fab 2016 - Lets make it AWESOME!!!

maman

:hello: Hello All! Back from my holiday in Turkey. All safe and sound.


We had a great time and I though of you lovely ladies while I was away.


We had a day on a boat with a group of friends and swam to a little cove. I sat in the surf in beautiful, clear turquoise water (yes, it is like something from a travel brochure;)) and looked at my smooth skin, painted nails, bikini body.......all looking fab thanks to this thread.


The downside was far too much to eat and drink so healthy eating starts again today (well it will once I've done my meal plan and shop.).


Back soon.:A

lessonlearned

Hello lovely ladies

Glad to see you back safe and sound Maman. How great that you were so happy with your "beach body". That will be me next year, that's my vow to myself.

Only managed to lose 1/2 lb this week but at least I'm still going in the right direction.

Just having a break from sorting out the cellar. Horrible filthy job. I ve broken the back of it (and mine in the process:eek:) - going to call it a day. A little rest now, then a gentle tidy up, soak in the bath, nice healthy dinner, paint my nails later.

Another disappointing viewing, the flat was gorgeous but there was a massive oak tree in the garden next which was taking all the light. It has a tree preservation order. I'm not even going to go there. Shame because the flat was lovely.

Not long now till your holiday Chaney.

Indie. I will join you on that economy drive. I need to claw back a bit too. Although having said that the decorator starts tomorrow and I have been getting quotes for a seating area in DS2s garden.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies

12 of us went to a local Pizza Express restaurant to celebrate my son’s 16th Birthday. We had great food, drinks and service. We took a chocolate birthday cake to the restaurant and our waiter kindly put it in a fridge until we were ready to cut the cake. :bdaycake:

I used £160 of my Tesco Clubcard Boost vouchers to pay for the food bill which came to just over £158. I used £80 of gift cards to pay the remaining £64.10 of the bill which covered the drinks we had all drank. I allowed the waiter to keep the £15.90 as his tip but then my sister Hope insisted on giving me £20 as she had intended to cover the waiter’s tip. My sister Hope came to London for the weekend from her temporary home in Birmingham to celebrate with us all. I have a £20 Tesco Clubcard Boost code and a £20 Pizza Express Gift Card left that I can use on our next visit to Pizza Express.

My sister Joyce and her daughter Phoebe also came for the weekend from their home in Sunderland. They stayed in a local Hotel as I did not have the space to accommodate them. It has been so great to have them here and to have them be part of my son’s birthday celebrations.

My son had to sit through us all singing happy birthday to him. Then he had to blow his candles out and make a wish. He got lots of cards, lots of presents he really enjoyed opening and £85 in cash. He could not stop smiling. I got some great photos of him enjoying his birthday celebration.

I wore a red sweetheart neckline t-shirt with a black gored pull on skirt with my red patent leather crocodile effect Van Dal sandals. I had my red patent leather Osprey handbag with me and wore my new red leather Kaleidoscope jacket. I wore my gold plated Tissot watch with my solid gold 3D cross and necklace, bracelet and hoop swirl earrings. I put on black mascara, gold eye shadow, lots of perfume and painted my nails with clear nail polish. When I came into the Living room, my grandson who is staying for the weekend with us was really very complimentary when he saw me all fabbed up.

After the meal my sister Joyce, my niece Phoebe and my grandson came back to my home and we played a rowdy game of Charades. We had so much fun and laughed so much. We all really threw ourselves into the game as it was suitable for all of us.

My son rounded off the day by going to the local Cinema to see the film Central Intelligence with his nephew (my grandson). They treated themselves to a takeaway before watching the film.

Ellsbel

What a lovely day for your son sugar
Welcome back maman the holiday sounds fab:)
Sorry the flat wasn't "the one" LL - it's out there somewhere though.
"Hi" to everyone :wave:
Not much to report here but just wanted to pop my head round the door! Hope you're all having a good Sunday.

ScarlettMcCain

Glad you enjoyed Turkey maman, we've been twice and both times it was lovely. So sad that people are now put off going, it's a beautiful place.

A shame about your flat too LL but it definitely sounds like the right decision. The tree is only going to get bigger and block out more light!

Happy birthday to your son sugar :bdaycake: great use of the Tesco vouchers :T

Bit up and down for me, things still aren't great with OH, he's now started to make nasty comments about my weight (he weighs 21 stone!!) - I think this is partly because he feels bad that he hasn't been able to lose weight himself and partly because, as he tells me often, he finds 'anorexic' women more attractive. I'm 5' 5" and 11 stone, not exactly massive, I'd like to lose another stone but have lost two already and never even got a "well done"

My maternity pay is now down to £500 per month and my DMP is down to £250 accordingly, which still leaves me very skint (baby milk alone is around £30 per week!) - he is well off but seems to resent giving me any money, last week he gave me £100 which had to cover everything for the week for me and the babies. I will say that when we go out together he pays for everything, but I'm still expected to do all the food shopping.

Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a vent but I'm really not sure what to do; to be honest if I had money of my own I would just leave him for a bit to see if he appreciated us any more once we've gone - he loves the kids, but can't be bothered with the day to day monotony of them - but sadly I don't. I may be getting made redundant soon too and he's refusing to pay towards nursery costs if/ when we use one, despite agreeing that a nursery is a good idea for a couple of days a week. If I try to talk to him he snaps at me and I get comments along the lines of "well you shouldn't have run up so much debt" - true but not helpful!

Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent on here, and I hope everyone has a good week

greenbee

Ruby - i think you've got a lot to think about and it isn't easy when you've got the babies to consider too. However, OH is completely out of order commenting on your weight and how you are failing to live up to his ideal. Particularly given that he has weight issues too.

As for money - the babies are 50% his. So as a minimum he should pick up 50% of the cost. Overheads (house, bills etc), milk, childcare. So if you are looking after them full time he should fund 50% of your lost earnings. Alternative you go back to work 2.5 days a week and he can arrange childcare for the other 2.5 days. I don't see any reason why you should have to provide the childcare and the money.

Floss

Ruby, I think firstly you could consider attending Relate - not necessarily as a couple, but for yourself to assist in the process of getting your head in a better place. Talk to your HV about a referral from your GP.

Then think about what happens if you ARE made redundant. Will that be your running-away money? Would you need to find a deposit for a private rental? Don't worry about your DMP - that can be reduced to single £s if your circumstances change, you will still pay it off by taking time out if things at home are changing.

Also, just for your knowledge, check out what sort of amount of maintenance could be expected from an estranged partner. I'm not suggesting that you should up & leave tomorrow, but sometimes it helps to have alternative plans, even if you don't use them.

Finally do you have any close friends, the type with whom you can share your secrets? You may benefit from a good chat, to help put things in perspective and to share your burden. Allow your twins to be minded by their father for a few hours, while you go & have a bit of time-out. He probably gets that by going out to work, but you don't.

Ellsbel

Ruby, sorry things are so stressful for you at the moment. It does seem unfair that OH won't contribute towards nursery fees; what will happen when you do return to work? Presumably he'll have to help out with childcare costs then?
Is his job stressful? Just wondering if this is a blip caused by something that's getting him down and he's (unfairly) taking it out on you. To criticise your weight after you've had your babies is a no-no.
I hope you can get through this; I know having young babies can take it's toll, and two the same age much be especially draining at times.
As for the money situation - could you do a childminder course or something so that you could work from home and wouldn't need to fund your own childcare?
Sorry, I'm wittering on now! Sending hugs anyway, take care x

chanie

Ruby your OH should be supportive of you for a number of reasons.
1) he shouldn't be commenting on your weight, when he is overweight himself. You've done so well, so don't let him put you down as it works both ways. Maybe you should tell him that you don't find him attractive either (even if that's not true) but it may help to shift the balance of power.
2) he should be contributing financially to the children as you are partnership. It sounds like you do the majority of the child related stuff yourself. It does make sense, because you are on maternity leave, but equally, when OH is at home, he should be mucking in. I think its not uncommon for parents to fall into the trap of the woman doing everything whist on mat leave and this continues when she goes back to work The man then has no understanding of the sheer amount of work it takes to keep a home running smoothly. Personally, I think you need to nip this in the bud before its too late. Start to plan some time for yourself, away from the children and make OH take some responsibility and he will soon see how difficult it is.
My OH is fab, he's always been very hands on and we share the responsibility for our children. I've always said that if something ever happens to me, I won't need to worry that OH will struggle.

chanie

3forholidays wrote: »

Christmas holiday Chanie! :rotfl: Hope that you actually mean Summer holidays!

Ha ha - definitely not an Xmas holiday, but I may buy some prezzies whilst I'm away.


Holiday packing

I wouldn't say I'm a great packer, but I thought it would be nice to share some tips as I know that some of us has already gone away or will be going away soon.


I tend to do beach holidays, so my tips will be based around that.


1) pack lightly - I hate having to unpack at both ends, so I tend to pack the least amount I can get away with. I spend most of the day by the pool in a swimwear so don't need much day time wear.


2) holiday clothes - I have some items that I only wear on holiday (e.g. sarongs etc) so these stay in my suitcase and this means I have half of my holiday wear already packed. I have lots of seperates, which I can mix and match.


3) I wear lots of dresses on holiday as this means I only have to think about what shoes I need to wear. I tend to go for dresses that can be worn casually during the day and glammed up for the evening. Go for natural fabrics like cotton (linen creases easily).


4) shoes - I only take a couple of pairs of shoes: comfortable flats for travelling and sightseeing (some TOMS or light canvas trainers), flipflops for the beach and a pair of heels for the evening.


5) accessories - I have a huge beach bag for during the day, plus a cross body bag for the evening. I tend not to take any jewellery (gives me the opportunity to buy something locally to remind me of the holiday).


Although I pack lightly, my suitcase is still bulging, but generally, I'll have about 4 dresses, which I rotate, 1-2 pairs of shorts, vest tops and 3 pairs of shoes. Its quite therapeutic to pack lightly as it makes me realise that I don't 'need' extra stuff and can go without for a week.