Frump to Fab 2016 - Lets make it AWESOME!!!

sugarbaby125

Rubyslippers, I have never had twins, but I have been in a similar position to you in the past.

It is such a depressing feeling to be lonely within a marriage or a committed partnership.

Your partner is transferring all of his insecurities onto you, because he is feeling a failure. He has failed to join you on your weight loss journey and he is having difficulties in off loading his business when he seems desperate to sell it. He is not making a conscious decision to belittle you and criticise your weight loss he is just full of fear. He can not help being afraid that now you are looking much like your old self while he is still obese, that you no longer find him attractive and yet you are more and more attractive to other men. He is feeling jealous and that makes him want to lash out at you to try to make himself feel less afraid and less insecure. You may seem to be effortlessly competent as a Mother whereas he also feels that he is not a natural Father and is afraid to be alone and have the responsibility for your twins.

If the time ever comes that you make the decision to leave him, you will do so with some regrets, but knowing that your own partner has forced you to make such a momentous decision. Do not make any rash decisions. I feel you are still at the stage where you would happily work with your partner if he would only meet you halfway. He is trying to control you in areas of your shared life because he feels his life is out of his control. Yet, he is pushing you away with his behaviour, hastening the end of your relationship as among all of his other fears this is what he is most afraid of.

Try to start talking to him. Persevere because it will take a lot of support from you before he will be able to talk honestly, openly and without blaming you.

I hope that you achieve your most heartfelt outcome. Hugs to you.

Floss

Ruby, LL is right, your OH cannot exclude you from a claim on his property if you have been contributing to the costs, especially now you have children.

maman

Sorry I've gone quiet on you all. I've been reading but feeling rough as I seem to have chest infection. GP has given me an antibiotic but the coughing is getting to me.
Sorry to hear your story ruby . I have no experience to share but knowledge is power so definitely find out all you can about your rights.

Back soon.

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies - looks like another day of rain here.......

Sorry I've been Mia for a few days. It's been a very busy week.

Last weekend I cleaned out the cellar, hurt my back and neck so have struggled a bit.

On Wednesday it was my birthday, had a lovely time. On Tuesday a nice long lunch with my sister and our pretend sister. On the actual day I had my hair done and then my boys and DIL took me out for a nice Italian meal and then to the cinema to see Ab Fab the Movie. I was spoilt rotten.

The decorator has now finished and the hall is looking really good. It took two of them 4 days so I'm really glad I got someone in, it would have taken me weeks........It is quite big with very high Ceilings, carved plaster work, typical of Victorian houses. It looks really smart now, painted out in Dulux Egyltian Cotton, a sort of "greige" with woodwork, ceilings and plasterwork picked out in white.

.I've still got the door frames to do and I have decided to have new doors because although existing ones would paint up ok they are in a bit of a state, needing lots of prep work and new handles and hinges. They are not the original Victorian doors only a horrid nasty 80s Pine copy that don't even fit properly so I've decided to just replace them.

The floor is the original Minton tiles which I'm hoping we can restore to it's former glory. Then some big mirrors and some chandeliers and then hopefully we will have a really nice grand entrance hall.

I'm afraid the "diet" has been blown out of the water and paint always triggers a tummy upset so I'm feeling a bit rough the last few days. Hopefully it's back to healthy eating again now and then Physio on Tuesday to sort out my back.

I'm going to reorganise the kitchen next week. The boys bought me a new fancy schmanzy food processor for my birthday so lots of slicing, dicing, shredding and spiralising healthy vegetables and salads......

I was doing it all by hand before because my old one had broken and it was a lot of effort when my Fibro was bad. Anyway no excuses now.......:rotfl: but I definitely want to get back on track now.

Maman - sorry to hear about your chest infection - could it have been the aircon on the plane. It often makes me feel poorly. Hope you get better soon.

ELlsbell - don't know if you are reading but hope You feel better soon.Dont feel bad about yourself or that you are a "fraud" for not "keeping up". FAbbing is not a race. dont worry about beauty routines, dieting, exercise etc just do what makes you feel good. We all need "time out" sometimes.

My new "thing" is to try less media time. I am sick to death of doom and gloom news coverage, so for me it's less tv, Internet and news media, more quiet time and listening to music.

Don't worry I won't be deserting all my online friends. I will continue to post here and on a couple of other threads but not every Day. I agree it all gets too much sometimes. I too am going to cut back on the Internet and social media.

sugarbabes - sorry I missed it, but would like to wish you a Hapoy Birthday.

Sorry if I have missed anyone. Hope you are all well and happy.

I shall be house viewing today. A couple of cute cottages, one is a bit expensive and probably out of my price range but hopefully the other one might be "the one". I did see a nice flat yesterday and that is a possible. Fingers crossed I shall find something soon.

Have a great weekend, although as I said the weather is very disappointing here.

greenbee

The hall sounds fab LL. I've used Egyptian cotton on the woodwork with natural calico on the walls if you are looking for door knobs, I've used these people - prices have gone up recently but they are still good value.

I'm just back from a month of work travel and holiday so need to get back into a routine with diet and exercise, and also make a start on planning the next phase of the house.

maman

Still feeling a bit yuk. I'm rethinking the 'chest infection'. Antibiotic hasn't done much, if any, good. I talked it through with GP yesterday and she believes it maybe some sort of allergy causing catarrh which is then draining onto my chest causing cough which won't let me sleep and making me feel washed out. So now I've got a range of decongestant stuff to try......:(


Anyhow, enough moaning. The plus side was I missed two meals out with friends this week. Obviously not pleased about missing the company but I've heard from friends that both venues had gone down hill and meals were mediocre. So that's a plus for my healthy eating. I don't mind going away from my usual plan for something I enjoy but not to waste on rubbish.


My DD1 bought a Victorian semi a few years back LL and has gradually replaced the doors from a local reclamation place. I'm not 100% sure whether what she now has are original or just expensive repro but very nice all the same. We have originals (Edwardian) and the money spent having them dipped years ago was well worth it. Not having to paint doors makes such a difference timewise when decorating and it's a look I like anyway.


Do keep reading ellsbel. Other than eating very little because I've not felt like it and an occasional shower I've done almost nothing for a week. I did insist on moisturising though as I love my tanned look and I want to keep it. At least I look healthy!:rotfl:Seriously though ellsbel, sometimes the less we do the less we feel like doing and it's easy to get into a downward spiral. Keep putting those Raybans on and walking the dog and build from there!:cool:


I hope you've got some fun activities lined up for your break sugarbaby. No problem linking up with Wayne again. Hopefully he'll realise it's on your terms, you've made it clear enough. I love hearing about your outfits, they always sound so dramatic and striking with the purples, reds and blacks.


Nothing much planned here for today. I've spent most of this morning reading the papers and chatting to friends on the phone.:o I did handwash one of my slik dresses as I'm supposed to be going out on Tuesday evening. DH is threatening to come food shopping with me to 'help'.:eek:

3forholidays

Maman My dad's idea of food shopping is buying things he was asked to get :T but also buying other food that you haven't asked for like rolls & cakes etc. :mad:

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

LL you sound like you had a really lovely birthday. Belated birthday wishes to you. Your house hunting has taken a more positive turn, you will soon secure your ideal new home.

Maman I hope your chest is improving. Yes I do have lots of plans for my long holiday from work. I do not believe Wayne is right for me as he has a real problem with my independence. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with him, but we are now becoming good friends rather than loving partners. I do not want to give up my independence or to ever be a traditional stay at home wife again.

My 1st week on holiday from work has been marred by my 24 year old daughter over heating a patty in the microwave which set alight and filled our home with acrid smoke. I suffered with smoke inhalation so I was left with a sore throat and painful lungs/chest. I then went on to develop other symptoms over the next 2 days suggesting I had a cold as well. I have not let my ill health stop my plans this week.

On Wednesday evening I had a date with Wayne. I am trying to get him to accept that I do not want to be constantly treated by him, I want to pay my way. It was not the fun, relaxed date that I was expecting, but it was okay. I wore a deep purple 3/4 length sleeve top with a deep v neckline and a diamond of large purple beads to embellish the front of the top. I wore it with my M & S black pull on skirt and my black patent leather Van Dal sling backs with the button detail. I was carrying my black leather Osprey handbag. I wore lots of perfume, but no make up or nail polish. I wore silver jewellery with deep purple QVC sandstone heart pendant and earrings, with my stainless steel diamond Ingersoll watch.

On Thursday evening, I went to see Booker T Jones at the Brooklyn Bowl in the 02. I had a fantastic evening, singing along and dancing. He is a really talented singer and musician. I was not familiar with his work, but looked him up on you tube, to make sure he was my kind of musical artist. I wore a fuschia pink M & S Short sleeved round neck t-shirt, with my black pull on Wallis skirt, with my black patent leather Van Dal sling backs with the button detail. I took my black every day leather handbag. I wore solid gold jewellery. I did not wear any make up or nail polish, but lots of perfume and the matching perfumed body lotion and perfumed body talc.

On Saturday evening I went to watch The Donkey Show at Proud Camden with my 24 year old daughter. I had a fantastic time singing along and dancing until my legs and feet were hurting! It was the kind of show where the dancers and singers interacted with the audience. Lots of the professional dancers were dancing with me throughout the evening. Both male and female dancers. One of the male dancers came over to me when I was finally sitting down on a stool to say he was not surprised my legs were hurting me after all my dancing. I wore a fushcia pink monsoon shoestring strap top which has lots of sequins and embroidery on the front and is lined. I wore it with my black pull on M & S skirt with my black patent leather Van Dal sling backs with the gold cutouts. I wore solid gold jewellery and took my every day black leather handbag. I wore lots of perfume and the matching perfumed body lotion. No make up or nail polish. I wore my lightweight black M & S coat with the gold lining.

3forholidays

LL Belated birthday wishes.

SugarBaby Hope that there is not too much damage to your home after the fire. Wow, you have been busy!!

Hope that everyone is keeping well and enjoying the sunshine (if you are lucky enough to get any!).

sugarbaby125

3forholidays, we were very lucky, that there was no actual smoke damage. The smell has taken until today to be completely gone though. The microwave still smells of smoke when it is used even though I cleaned it out 3 time to try to freshen it up inside.