Unbelievably selfish woman

Lynxe

arbroath_lass wrote: »

I'm not sure where selfish comes in? She was invited to stay, I certainly don't expect guests to pay for things when I've invited them, usually they return the favour. What's wrong with a tenner or a M&S voucher? Seem perfectly reasonable gifts - not everyone goes over the top at Christmas, nor should they feel they have to.

I'm afraid this reflects my feelings too - I attended two christmas dinners this year with family and in laws and didn't contribute anything to either - Should I have?! (Rhetorical question, I know the answer in our case is no!)

Did you ask for her to contribute? Did she ever offer? Where did the assumption that she would come from? (Genuine questions, I don't think the tone implies that. )

missbiggles1

Trazy wrote: »

she didn't contribute anything
I'm glad that some of you find it funny to bully me, must make you feel so good

Disagreeing with someone isn't the same as bullying them.

missbiggles1

Kim_kim wrote: »

I assumed the kids gifts were added in there too.

So did I - (£10 x 2 + £15) x 5 = £175.

enthusiasticsaver

Seems a bit mean to give your grandchildren only £10 each and a voucher for your son and daughter in law to share but maybe this woman feels that she wont give any more. She does not sound like a generous person but I guess from the point of view of family harmony it is best just to not say anything unless your son and daughter in law bring it up. Maybe her bragging about how much money she has is all hot air. I would feel embarrassed giving that little and love splashing out on my granddaughter, daughters and son in law but we can afford it and always stick to a budget.


It is a shame for family to fall out though over something so trivial. We have many occasions been over to my daughters while her in laws are also there and all get on very well which makes for a harmonious family occasion - whether birthdays or Christmas. Mind you my daughters' in laws are very generous unlike your son's MIL.

74jax

I was the first to reply and I read it as they had agreed to pay towards the meal. I won't change my post as it won't make sense to others, but that is why I replied how I did.

I don't think you give gifts in the amount of what you receive, I also don't see how giving a tenner is selfish.

I get joints gifts to me and hubby, normal a voucher and it never crossed our minds we should expect separate ones. We really don't mind.

gettingtheresometime

Maybe your son & dil told her not to spend much on either them or their children?

Gingernutty

Trazy wrote: »

I'm feeling so wound up
My son has his mother in law staying for Christmas, I was there for Christmas day and she talked all about herself and how much money she has
She gave the kids a tenner each and her daughter and my son a £15 marks and spensers voucher to share, Yet ate and drank five times that amount
how can anybody be so bloody selfish?

Bragging about how much she has, freeloading off the daughter and husband and then giving fairly miserly gifts would annoy me too.

It's not for you to say anything though.

If it irks them, then they, or her daughter, have to say something to her.

Just be the nice MIL.

Don't brag, give twenties or at least put a bit more thought into the gifts, don't outstay your welcome and be as gracious as she is boastful.

People who feel the need to boast like that tend to be compensating for something...

LilElvis

My parents stayed with us over Christmas and, as they were invited guests, it would never have crossed my mind to make any correlation between the value of their gifts and the amount we spent on them in turn and the cost of the meal. Neither do I make any comparison between how much they spend on our daughter and the value of the gifts from her other Grandma, my MIL.

I don't give in order to receive - it isn't what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Lily-Rose_3

DUTR wrote: »

Easy, if smoked salmon, caviar and champagne from none budget supermarkets are on the menu.

Yeah cos everyone has caviar and smoked salmon and champagne in their Christmas buffet, and then complains about someone only giving a tenner to their kids as a gift! Anyone who put this kind of stuff out would not whinge about what gifts their kids got.

And it turns out that it WAS £175 , not £75 as I first thought.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

So did I - (£10 x 2 + £15) x 5 = £175.

I am still very curious as to how one woman can consume £175 of food and drink in one day?

The OP hasn't answered yet.

If she doesn't then I can only assume that she is making it up.

Did she not think that people would question this ludicrous amount?

12_month_challenge

Trazy wrote: »

I'm feeling so wound up
My son has his mother in law staying for Christmas, I was there for Christmas day and she talked all about herself and how much money she has
She gave the kids a tenner each and her daughter and my son a £15 marks and spensers voucher to share, Yet ate and drank five times that amount
how can anybody be so bloody selfish?

Maybe the MIL was saying things on purpose because she knows it winds you up.

Just remember material things are not important and I bet she hasn't got as much as she wants you to believe.

Don't let people like that get to you. Christmas comes but once a year. Hopefully you wont have to suffer her for another year.