Money saving and getting husband on board!

Gavin83

I'll second the question some people are asking, what are you saving for? Your cutting back like someone who is in financial difficulties but other elements of your posts suggest this isn't the case. Which is it?

getmore4less

Anomaly100 wrote: »

I've been trying very hard to sort out our finances.

Have you done a proper budget for all of 2016 or is it just random cutbacks?

FBaby

milliemonster wrote: »

Yes to me it seems you are obsessing over 'cutting back' when you have no financial need to, fair enough to cut down on waste nothing wrong with that but to cut back hard when you are in an ok financial position makes little sense frankly. My mum and dad never spent anything they didn't have to all their lives as they were saving hard for their retirement so they could enjoy life then, this meant for us growing up we never did anything, I never ate out at a restaurant or even a take away or pizza at all until I'd left home, we had the same meals week in week out, we never went swimming or to the cinema, nothing, I must have been the only child who hated school holidays as we never did anything because my mum was always saving, for nothing really because do you know what happened? She was diagnosed with breast cancer age 59 and died at 64, so she never saw retirement and all that money they saved, my dad met someone new and it's now all being spent on her.

It made me realise that there is no point in life just saving for something that may never happen, if you have a pension, are paying your mortgage and can manage comfortably with your income and outgoings, then live a little now, enjoy life while you can, you never know what's round the corner

I find this post quite upsetting. For one, I don't think saving is about having to. By definition, you could always say that it isn't a need. However, doing so doesn't make it pointless, if only for the fact you never know what might happen tomorrow and might find yourself very relieved to have a bit of money aside to go through difficult times.

I also find it hard that you would judge your parents the way you do. I understand that they have taken it to an extreme if you never did anything, but maybe they thought that family time together was worth much more than what money could by. Your mum might never have enjoyed the money she saved which is very sad, but it sounds like your dad is, despite I'm sure wishing he could do so with your mum. OH and I are investing a lot for our retirement. We are both conscious that it could be all for nothing, but at the same time, I see how it has paid of for my parents who are living the retirement dream, a nice house long paid for, nice cars, fantastic holidays, taking on new activities, treating friends and families. They've been retired for 14 years, loving every second of it and so far, no health scare. Considering the average expectancy age is getting close to 80, I don't think considering retirement is such a bad idea, at least not for everyone.

Goldiegirl

As in all things there is a balance between saving and spending.

I retired when I was 54, and we obviously had to make sure we contributed to pensions and saved money - but we made sure we lived on the way as well, and had some great holidays.

Sometimes people can get so caught up about the 'future', they forget to live in the here and now.

Sometimes they die early, and never get to enjoy the fruits of their labour, like Milliemonster's mum.

In other cases I know of, people save for their retirement, and once they retire the saving habit is so ingrained, it is impossible for them to spend any of their savings, and they survive on a pittance, and still try to grow their savings.

It doesn't have to be a choice about living now or later, if you are sensible, you can do both.

Spendless

When you switch my car on, it tells you how many miles of petrol I have left. I spent a week noting down my regular journeys and how many miles away they are, so a round trip to work including dropping DS off at school in the morning is 10 miles. DD;s drama class is 5 miles away, her dance class 3 miles away. I worked out for the coming week how many miles I would be travelling added a few miles more for miscellaneous trips not accounted for and then put petrol in my car, the first week it was guesswork as I didn't know how much in £s I needed to put in. The following week though I'd got it down to a fine art. If you know there's only enough petrol in to make the essential trips (and some for emergencies) you'll start making some journeys on foot - eg the school run you've previously mentioned.

Dobbibill

Do you have all your money together in a joint account?

My OH is not a saver either but we have found a balance. Just sharing my experience to give you some food for thought about how a compromise might be possible.

Myself and my OH pay into a bills account and grocery account when we get paid, everything else is ours to save/spend/fritter/enjoy on what we want.

Out of the accounts I have set up savings for Christmas, house repairs, EF, car tax and insurance. If there is anything left in the grocery account it is moved into the house savings as well. Holidays don't interest us, so everything we want is accounted for and everything else is ours to do with what we want.

I'm currently saving for a new car, my car has a good few miles left in it but it's only a matter of time. I also save in an account for treats, so after my spending money and treats are accounted for my car savings gets the remainder. My OH spends mostly all his money each month on what he wants. Sometimes he will spend all of it, sometimes he will save a bit. That's his choice.

This gives us a nice balance of saving/spending.

We are financial opposites but this keeps us both happy.

I hope you can find your compromise/happy medium.

getmore4less

FBaby wrote: »

I find this post quite upsetting. For one, I don't think saving is about having to. By definition, you could always say that it isn't a need. However, doing so doesn't make it pointless, if only for the fact you never know what might happen tomorrow and might find yourself very relieved to have a bit of money aside to go through difficult times.

Those are saving for a reason,

An emergency fund to cover the unexpected expense
(the better the budget the smaller this can be)

The disaster fund to cover a loss of income for X months.
(the more spends you have commited the bigger this needs to be)

A pot of dosh to retire at 55(or some other target).
...
once you have the goals/reasons you have targets to aim for.
Don't just have a raindy day saving have an idea how big it needs to be.

The classic balance is spend 1/3, buy a property with 1/3, save 1/3 retire in 20-25 years.

(if you have kids that gets messed up big time)

happy35

We also pay into a bills account after that everything is our own. I am a saver oh saves when he wants something. I would go insane sharing an account with him, he buys things I thinkj are rubbish such as tools etc that he does use but I would buy as u need rather than want. We have done this for over 20 years and works well for us

FBaby

once you have the goals/reasons you have targets to aim for.
Don't just have a raindy day saving have an idea how big it needs to be.

Totallya agree that, although I don't think many people get to end of the list when it comes to savings, for a start, could never retire early enough!

I also think that like everything, once you start saving, it becomes much easier to get into the habit and becomes a goal of its own. Unfortunately, that's when some people can take it too far as you do get a sense of real achievement when you see your saving account grow.

getmore4less

FBaby wrote: »

Totallya agree that, although I don't think many people get to end of the list when it comes to savings, for a start, could never retire early enough!

There is an intermediate like have enough saved by 55 to retire at 60.

If you reach your target you can stop saving at 55, and look at new options like going part time, if you also have your house paid off it could mean more options.