Money saving and getting husband on board!

heuchera

What sort of stuff does he buy that he thinks he should be able to afford on his salary?

maman

I agree completely with all the posters who say it's essential to have your DH on board. Otherwise, as said, you'll likely feel resentful that you're making savings and he's not.


I'd recommend a spending diary to use as an audit for where the money's going. You know all the costs of utilities from the DDs/annual bills so it's a spending diary for the disposable income. Write down every penny you spend in say a month and keep all receipts. Then at the end of the month you look through and decide which things were needs and which were wants. Wants can be eliminated if you choose. I found that it also has the spin off that you start thinking 'Do I need this?' before parting with money, so it's a brake in itself.


If you're responsible for the food shopping and cooking then there's scope there for saving even without OH. Using Lidl is a good start but definitely do a meal plan and a shopping list always. Each week write your shopping list/meal plan based on what you already have in and only buy essential ingredients to fit the meal plan. I'd make an exception for offers but only on non-perishables/freezable goods that you'll definitely eat.


I'm in the fortunate position that I'm mse because I choose to be. I worked hard for the money I have and to me it's a challenge not to waste it or be ripped off but to spend it on the things of my choice that give me pleasure. So, for example, I'll enjoy eating out with friends even if the bill comes to more than a week's food shop. I don't enjoy throwing food in the bin any more than I'd enjoy throwing away money.

borkid

Between you, you need to decide how much you need to live, mortgage /food/bills/ etc ( not over paying the mortgage). Then decide on what you would like to overpay on and why. Mortgage could be finished 5years early then we would have £x extra a month( would this coincide with an event silver wedding anniversary, childs 18th, university) this would enable a big treat. Similarly with pension saving ie when we retire we'll be able to take more holidays/ go out for meals/ shows etc.

Then decide on extras that aren't essential but you would like sky/magazine subs/ kids stuff ( music lessons/sports coaching)/ extra savings/ hollidays.

After all that if there is anything left split it between the 2 of you. He can then spend on 'stuff' he wants you will just have to keep quiet if you don't agree with the spend it is 'his' money. You have your own spends again you can do what you like even save it!

You do have the biggest money pit of all though CHILDREN!

Others have given good advice on how to cut bills, if you manage to to use less money than allocated then save it for a rainy day, they come.

Goldiegirl

No one is able to answer the question, 'what is a reasonable amount for day to day spending' except the individual.

Only you know what the household income is, what your essential bills are and what your disposable income is.

You might get a few opinions - but as this is a money saving board, you'll find that what some people think is reasonable makes you think are wildly profligate!

The trick is to find the balance between spending and saving that works for you and your husband.

As has already been said, a spending diary is a good idea, so you can see where every penny goes each month, and when you've done this, you can see more clearly where cuts can be made.

The food budget is always a good one to get stuck into. If you do proper meal planning, take a shopping list based on what you need for your planned meals, and stick to the list, you shouldn't need to throw food away. Check out the old style board for help with this sort of thing.

It also helps if your have goals for saving, short, medium term and long term goals. Saving for the sake it, when one of the people in the partnership isn't by nature a saver is doomed to failure.

You might even want to do a SOA (statement of affairs), so people can suggest areas where cuts could be made. The link for the SOA can normally be found on the debt free wannabe area of the board.

It is perfectly possible to make significant savings without compromising your lifestyle - and still have some money for your husband to buy 'stuff' from time to time

getmore4less

Annual totals for each category help with priorities.

Then priorities need to set to allocate the income.

Do a this is where our money went in 2015 where do we want it to go in 2016.

Common goals and priorities helps.

Could be an extra holiday does not have to spend less and save for no reason.

duchy

Anomaly100 wrote: »

The stuff is everything from clothes, going out, things for the house, activities for the kids etc. Its hard because I'm sure to some we spend a fortune and to others its buttons. I suppose working out what's right for us is the tricky bit.

So stuff isn't all about him but spending to make your lives as a family nicer .
Life is uncertain - and money in the bank is no replacement for memories of good times .
Perhaps as you are already increasing pension payments and overpaying the mortgage -and there's still treat money available in the budget -you need to identify why you feel the need to save even more. Is it for a specific purpose - or is it just saving for savings sake ?

Pollycat

maman wrote: »

I'm in the fortunate position that I'm mse because I choose to be. I worked hard for the money I have and to me it's a challenge not to waste it or be ripped off but to spend it on the things of my choice that give me pleasure. So, for example, I'll enjoy eating out with friends even if the bill comes to more than a week's food shop. I don't enjoy throwing food in the bin any more than I'd enjoy throwing away money.

We must be twins separated at birth.

We eat very well because I shop wisely, bulk cook, meal plan (but am open to switching ideas if I buy something not on my list but is a bargain).
I'll buy multiple packs of mince but instead of chucking them all in the freezer as they are - be it 400gm, 500gm, 750 gm etc - I portion them out to usually 8oz (burgers) or 12oz (multiples for bol/chilli/shepherd's pie).
Yes, it is extra work but it does mean I get more portions out of the same pack.
So I can buy that fab top from a charity shop if I fancy it.
I could afford to buy it brand new - but that's just not me.

We've always lived within our means, had lots of holidays but never 5* spa type (that's not us) had new cars but not the Mercs, BMWs etc that other people were driving and it's paid off for us.

Tigsteroonie

As someone else mentioned, do you need to save? Do you need to finish your mortgage years earlier? It sounds as though you want to sacrifice now for better things later, where your OH wants to enjoy life now. You need to find a balance between the two

We overpay a little on the mortgage (£20/month) and put some savings away to pay for holidays and larger expenditure. We also have some spending money for "now" so that life doesn't seem too boring.

milliemonster

Yes to me it seems you are obsessing over 'cutting back' when you have no financial need to, fair enough to cut down on waste nothing wrong with that but to cut back hard when you are in an ok financial position makes little sense frankly. My mum and dad never spent anything they didn't have to all their lives as they were saving hard for their retirement so they could enjoy life then, this meant for us growing up we never did anything, I never ate out at a restaurant or even a take away or pizza at all until I'd left home, we had the same meals week in week out, we never went swimming or to the cinema, nothing, I must have been the only child who hated school holidays as we never did anything because my mum was always saving, for nothing really because do you know what happened? She was diagnosed with breast cancer age 59 and died at 64, so she never saw retirement and all that money they saved, my dad met someone new and it's now all being spent on her.

It made me realise that there is no point in life just saving for something that may never happen, if you have a pension, are paying your mortgage and can manage comfortably with your income and outgoings, then live a little now, enjoy life while you can, you never know what's round the corner

onlyroz

For the "stuff" budget I'd suggest that you each have a weekly amount, which is kept in a separate purse or wallet in cash. Also if you don't do it already, taking packed lunches to work will save you a fortune.