Facebook dilemma

heuchera

Petra_70 wrote: »

No they don't. Quit being so patronising and condescending.

Read my last post properly.

Particularly this bit...



I think you should pay particular attention to the last paragraph.

I am sure you mean well with your 'scolding.' and sitting on your high horse up there, but you are really going over the top with your frankly over-zealous views and opinions! Fact is, you can NOT stop kids from doing everything you don't want them to do. You are living in cloud cuckoo land if you think that it possible!

People are not agreeing with you, they don't have to, they don't need to; deal with it!

If it doesn't apply to you then why get upset about what's been written. If it does apply to you, ie you are letting your kid(s) use the net unsupervised then I hope this serves as a wake-up call.

heuchera

Andypandyboy wrote: »

And calm acceptance that kids will do whatever anyway so why bother to try to exercise parental controls leads to lax parenting and kids who turn out feral.

The thing about the internet is, anyone can pretend to be anyone. Put a fake photo up, write like a 13 year old, and your child will be none the wiser.

Same with chat-rooms dedicated to self-harm, suicide, there's all sorts of really vile and nasty stuff out there. And children accessing pornography (I mean children, I don't just mean under-18 teens) is a real concern.

Yet say this to people and you're the one in the wrong, it seems.

DevilsAdvocate1

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Parents do need to try to exercise controls over the usage of the net. If very young kids circumvent those controls that is a different matter, but to actively allow or encourage the use of FB is poor parenting imo.

Aside from the obvious; grooming, !!!!!!, cruelty, incitement to suicide, there is the very real online bullying aspect, often from people not known to the child or family outside the FB page. Kids rarely divulge this type of thing until way down the line.

Those of us involved in IT spheres/related professional fields know more of what goes on, much of which never hits the news.

I used to work in IT and I'm well aware of the dangers. However, I let my eldest son have a Facebook account at the age of 11. This was because he was allocated a secondary school which was completely different to the one where his whole year was allocated. He was bullied at first simply because he knew no one. I let him have an account so that he could stay in touch with his primary school friends (who were also 11 and most were on Facebook). They gave him a lot of support at a time when he really needed it.

I had rules though. I had access to the account. He gave me the password and I would regularly go on and check out what had been said. I checked his private messages as well as his friends list (usually with him stood next to me). He was only allowed to accept friends who he knew in real life. I also had the security on his account set so only friends could see his content and what he posted.

I think its a good idea to let children have access to sites in a supervised way. Otherwise at what age is it suddenly ok? Just like in the real world - how we cross roads holding hands with them, but eventually they learn how to do it on their own. You wouldn't just turn round one day, take them to a busy crossroad, say they're now old enough and leave them to it. So surely it should be a gradual learning process with the internet too.

DevilsAdvocate1

heuchera wrote: »

The thing about the internet is, anyone can pretend to be anyone. Put a fake photo up, write like a 13 year old, and your child will be none the wiser.

Same with chat-rooms dedicated to self-harm, suicide, there's all sorts of really vile and nasty stuff out there. And children accessing pornography (I mean children, I don't just mean under-18 teens) is a real concern.

Yet say this to people and you're the one in the wrong, it seems.

Problem is, they access the internet not just at home. My middle son, who was 14 at the time, told me how he had managed to work around the school's security system to access a website that the school had banned. Some of these children are really technologically savvy.

I would prefer to let my children have access but to supervise them. I also think the show "Catfish" is a must for children / teens to watch.

heuchera

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

Problem is, they access the internet not just at home. My middle son, who was 14 at the time, told me how he had managed to work around the school's security system to access a website that the school had banned. Some of these children are really technologically savvy.

I would prefer to let my children have access but to supervise them. I also think the show "Catfish" is a must for children / teens to watch.

Public libraries also have internet access for older children (teens) which is fine, but I'm pretty sure you can't just go accessing dodgy sites from library computers! You'd soon get booted off if you tried.

The school need a heads-up on that site which the boy managed to access.

melanzana

FaceBook can be great for some. But it is NOT for me.

And I like internet stuff, but not that.

Now just think about it. Someone has an argument or whatever IRL, then knocks you off friends list on FB. OK. But would someone tell you TO YOUR FACE that they want nothing more to do with you?

Unlikely. That is why I think FB is a dangerous tool in unstable hands. And too many people think FB is actual, rather than a virtual world.

Wattsapp, FaceTime and email with attachments and indeed Skype do not involve all this angst, and it works to keep in touch!

Childish behaviour all round. Get OFF FB and grow up.

Judgemental me. Sorry.

Pollycat

barbarawright wrote: »

I don't think there's any more rows on FB than in real life. Some people thrive on drama. Others don't. The medium doesn't make any difference.

Really?
You don't think there's any more rows on FB than in real life.....?

Really? :rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl:

fierystormcloud

melanzana wrote: »

FaceBook can be great for some. But it is NOT for me.

And I like internet stuff, but not that.

Now just think about it. Someone has an argument or whatever IRL, then knocks you off friends list on FB. OK. But would someone tell you TO YOUR FACE that they want nothing more to do with you?

Unlikely. That is why I think FB is a dangerous tool in unstable hands. And too many people think FB is actual, rather than a virtual world.

Wattsapp, FaceTime and email with attachments and indeed Skype do not involve all this angst, and it works to keep in touch!

Childish behaviour all round. Get OFF FB and grow up.

Judgemental me. Sorry.

I think this is a bit harsh. FB is a lifeline to friends and family who don't live closeby, and many people keep in touch, sharing pics, and posts, and playing games, and generally having fun. And It is certainly NOT a 'virtual world.' Every single one of my 133 'friends' on FB, is a person I know in real life.

And it's not always about rows and arguments and !!!!!! as some are trying to say! Good grief.

I have had my FB for 7 years and have never experienced any of the horrors that people are carping on about on here.

And I certainly don't think there is anything 'childish' about it. One BILLION people use it FGS. Should they all stop, because people think they are 'childish' or need to 'get a life.'

As I said, many people love it, and have lots of fun on there.

I wish people wouldn't mock and berate things, just because they don't understand them or 'get' them... It's terribly narrow minded.

securityguy

heuchera wrote: »

The ten year old isn't.. but I'm afraid I've got no time for parents who allow their children to use the internet unsupervised, and that includes going on FaceBook illegally.

Illegally, eh? Could you tell us what law you believe they are breaking?

heuchera

securityguy wrote: »

Illegally, eh? Could you tell us what law you believe they are breaking?

That question was answered a few posts ago..