Social Services say i need to quit job

topaztiger1983

We have social services involvement with our unborn daughter they are saying if we want to keep her then I have to quit my job to care for my partner who has mild learning difficulties, we had our son removed from our care 6 years ago, but have made some big changes in our lives since then

Can they do this, I don't know if I can cope on benefits again

Plz help me

Thanks

TT

Gigglepig

OP is the problem that social services considers that your partner cannot care for the baby on her own due to learning difficulties? If so, have you discussed with them what their particular concerns are, and if there are any ways you can address these problems without leaving your job?

For example - can the baby be in nursery while you are at work?
Do you have any relatives who can support?

If your partner has learning difficulties which may impair her ability to look after the baby properly, then social services will need to be reassured that the baby is looked after well.

Depending on what type of learning difficulty your partner has, perhaps there is a charity who supports people in her situation, and can advise and support?

AnnieO1234

What other options do you have in relation to getting care for your partner? Does he receive the care component for PiP/DLA? Where would the child be if you were working? Do you have definitive plans? Do you have contact with your previous child?

Xxx

topaztiger1983

She does not get PIP, but we are considering applying for it soon, child would be at home with my partner, only have letterbox contact with adoptive parents

Andypandyboy

I would assume there were very severe issues for you to have had a child removed? Social Services have to put the welfare of the child first. With respect, if your partner has difficulties which make SS feel she is unable to safely care for the child, perhaps going down that route again was unwise.

You say you have made changes, but SS must feel that these changes do not guarantee the safety of your baby. I think having made the choice to get pregnant then you need to do whatever it takes to make sure that child is safe. Children grow up quickly, but only you and SS will know if the situation is such that your partner may not be considered able to be solely in charge of any small child.

AnnieO1234

Can we ask what the difficulties are that your partner suffers from?

(I didn't realise in my first comments that it was OPs partner who was mother and assumed it was father who was disabled)


Xxx

topaztiger1983

I have not refused to leave work, but handing in my notice would mean that I get no benefits for 6 months, would it not

I have spoken to my manager and he has said that I could take a "career break", for upto 3 years

topaztiger1983

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

Can we ask what the difficulties are that your partner suffers from?

(I didn't realise in my first comments that it was OPs partner who was mother and assumed it was father who was disabled)


Xxx

She has possible Cornelia de Lange syndrome (http://www.cdlsusa.org/what-is-cdls/)

Caleb11

What changes have you made since your other child was born?

Would you consider hiring a nanny around the house or putting the baby in a childminders whilst your at work (even just until SS are confident the baby is safe?)

Can your partner work?

topaztiger1983

We have a better understanding of my partners condition and how it effects her

We were in a homeless hostel with our son, now we live in a rented house

I have considered the possibility of childcare whilst at work, but not sure if SS are wanting to go down that road

And yes she could work, but has no work history so has found it hard to find work

Person_one

We aren't really going to be able to help much on a forum, this must be very stressful and worrying for you but the most important thing is making sure the baby is going to be safe and well looked after and the way to do that is to keep talking to and working with the social workers.

Mencap have an advocacy service for people with learning disabilities, they can help you if you're struggling to navigate all this on your own and feel like you need somebody to support you both : https://www.mencap.org.uk/our-services/personal-support-services/advocacy/empower-me