Flo's Debt Free Diary

Florence_J

motivated wrote: »

Hi Florence

So glad you've got a plan and a way forward without the 2nd job and extra pressure. It looks like an excellent plan too :T
M

Thank you!

crazy_cat_lady

Love it when a plan comes together

Florence_J

Today in the adventures of my Dad...

I am back in the family home as it is my Granddad's 90th birthday party this weekend.

Today at the event I was speaking to my Aunt and she said 'So you're going to have a wicked stepmother soon'

And I was a little puzzled, as the woman I refer to as my step mum is my dad's fiance, they have been engaged for a few years, but there seemed to be no immediate plans for them to marry.

Only it turns out they are getting married at the end of July in a secret ceremony to which non of us are invited, other than whoever their witnesses will be.

So my Dad eventually told me, after he realised I had found out, but since I had been back for two nights without him saying anything, I guess he wouldn't have done.

I am now in an awkward situation as I don't think my older two sisters know and I'm not sure if he plans on telling them.

I am not particularly bothered, though I would like to be there, as I think people should have the right to do what they like at their wedding, and I personally would love to elope with my boyfriend as I don't think my anxiety could cope with a big wedding with all the fuss on me.

The funny thing is when my Dad married my mum, my sisters (from his first marriage) found out after the event. From their school dinner lady....

My Dad is pretty weird, and I think I get my whole 'not telling people anything about me, either good or bad' from him.

I guess I feel a little put out. The thing is my family are astonishingly bad at communication, we lack those skills completely. We show our love by making each other cups of tea rather than saying it.

We used to have our Grandma to pass on all the family news, but she passed away several years ago.

I guess I get my hopeless communication skills from my family.

We don't really talk on the phone to each other, I guess that's why I never got used to it or accepted it as a form of communicating with people.

So I guess that is another present I need to find the funds for.

Florence_J

I mean, I accept that as this is my Dad's third marriage and my step mum to be's second, and they have grown up children, are grandparents, have a big mortgage and other things in life they would rather spend money on and my Dad would be classed this year as being in his late 60's that if they want a small wedding, that is fine with me.

armchairexpert

I feel like, if he isn't even going to tell you, you could probably skip the present. Is that mean spirited of me?

Florence_J

armchairexpert wrote: »

I feel like, if he isn't even going to tell you, you could probably skip the present. Is that mean spirited of me?

I think you make a very good point, but I love my step mum (to be) far too much to not buy one. And the other thing is I found the perfect thing for them ages ago and have just been waiting for the time to buy it.

My Dad is an odd duck. My Step mum is thankfully very normal, the whole family and extended family adore her.

I think my life would have been a lot different if she had come into my life earlier.

enthusiasticsaver

I wouldn't get them a present either especially given how tight money is for you. You can show you are happy for them by getting them a nice card after the event. If they aren't inviting people or even telling their nearest and dearest they obviously don't want a fuss.

Florence_J

Well, if it helps, what I have seen is a personalised flower basket, where you can get their names and significant date written on it, and it is a reasonable price so I could get OH to chip in half (which he will be happy to do, since I chip in half for all his families gifts. To be fair his entire immediate family is smaller than what I have in siblings!) OR I could use our 'creative skills' and art supplies to make our own.

Florence_J

I have a few paydays to save up for it.

Florence_J

Made my first payment to the £1001.75 debt I have to OH today. Only £72.50 but that is £72.50 less I owe him.

I have a fractional amount of disposable income money left till payday next Friday so I will be having fun for free in the home this weekend I think.

I feel ill but at least it is Friday tomorrow.