Flo's Debt Free Diary

enthusiasticsaver

I don't think you should work 7 days a week if you are prone to anxiety and your health will suffer.

Having only read the first page of your diary and this one your debt does not seem to have moved much over the last 17 months though, unless you have included family debts (ie to your OH) in the £5117 in your signature as you had £5150 in credit card/overdraft debt in 2015 ? Apologies if this is inaccurate and I will read the whole diary soon. If however the debt has not reduced something has to change - ie a better paying job and more restraint on spending and a refusal to borrow from your OH who now seems to be resenting it anyway. You say you are already not buying things so if your wage is not covering your essential outgoings and the occasional non essential without any spare to either save or reduce your debts then this is not sustainable long term. Have you posted an soa recently to see if people can suggest where you can cut back further?

You seem to be really trying though but maybe not quite yet got the difference between wants and needs. If you are in debt ideally you should be only paying for needs with budgeted treats. If you did not have sufficient in your treats budget for the Queen tickets then this really should have been foregone. Is your OH going with you even though he does not like them and is the cost for one or two tickets? It would have been cheaper for you to have gone with someone who did want to see them so you only had to pay for one ticket.

As I say I have not read your full diary so please don't take my comments too much to heart as I see you have changed jobs so maybe were out of work for a while and hence the debt not reduced for that reason? I do think you need to stop borrowing off your OH though as he is obviously good with money, staying in a job he doesn't like purely for financial stability (if your assumption is correct) and it seems unfair to borrow money from him on that basis especially if it is for a want and not a need.

Florence_J

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I don't think you should work 7 days a week if you are prone to anxiety and your health will suffer.

Having only read the first page of your diary and this one your debt does not seem to have moved much over the last 17 months though, unless you have included family debts (ie to your OH) in the £5117 in your signature as you had £5150 in credit card/overdraft debt in 2015 ? Apologies if this is inaccurate and I will read the whole diary soon. If however the debt has not reduced something has to change - ie a better paying job and more restraint on spending and a refusal to borrow from your OH who now seems to be resenting it anyway. You say you are already not buying things so if your wage is not covering your essential outgoings and the occasional non essential without any spare to either save or reduce your debts then this is not sustainable long term. Have you posted an soa recently to see if people can suggest where you can cut back further?

You seem to be really trying though but maybe not quite yet got the difference between wants and needs. If you are in debt ideally you should be only paying for needs with budgeted treats. If you did not have sufficient in your treats budget for the Queen tickets then this really should have been foregone. Is your OH going with you even though he does not like them and is the cost for one or two tickets? It would have been cheaper for you to have gone with someone who did want to see them so you only had to pay for one ticket.

As I say I have not read your full diary so please don't take my comments too much to heart as I see you have changed jobs so maybe were out of work for a while and hence the debt not reduced for that reason? I do think you need to stop borrowing off your OH though as he is obviously good with money, staying in a job he doesn't like purely for financial stability (if your assumption is correct) and it seems unfair to borrow money from him on that basis especially if it is for a want and not a need.

Hi there, thank you for your post, I do hope you have a read through all the diary but to explain a little bit, your guess was right. My debt in December 2015 was less than it was in December 2016 despite a year of bashing at it. This was because I was out of work for four months during the summer and one of my credit cards took a bashing-some essential, some not essential.

My debt in December 2016 was just under £6000, I am pleased to report that once all my payments this month have cleared my debt will be under £5000-with £1000+ having been paid off since December 2016.

I really appreciate what you said. I really appreciate what EVERYONE has said.

Florence_J

I decided to ask my OH two questions. Question 1 was 'Are you staying in a job you hate because you feel you have to support me?' and Question 2 was 'When do you want me to have paid you back by?'

I asked him to be honest, but OH is always honest, he values honesty above all else, he even told me when I had a moustache going on....

Question 1 = OH's answer was no, he was not staying in a job he hated because he felt he had to support me, so I can stop making myself feel guilty.

Question 2 = OH's answer was by the end of the year.

Here is a fact, like I have said to enthusiasticsaver above, I have paid off £1000+ off my debt since December 2016. And that was without working 7 days a week.

I am going to look at my spreadsheets and do a financial forecast to see if I can pay back my debts and pay back OH and live without going crazy.

But, I have something to tell you all. It's not that I haven't been listening to you, because I have, I do feel working 7 days a week would be unwise, especially for me with my problems, But I have decided to apply for the job I have seen on this basis-it is in a field I am passionate about, it would be a new set of skills, it could be beneficial, and it involves little customer service which terrifies me. I am not going to apply for every single weekend job under the sun, I will apply only for the very, very best, the ones where they have enough going for them that it would/could be worth the sacrifice.

Also there is another reason why I applied for the job and that is because I may have worked out the wages wrong, and it would be around £400 a month, meaning the debt would be cleared in 3 months. Still a long time, still unwise, but shorter.

I just felt that I had to give it a try, I had to know absolutely that it is a stupid idea, OH is absolutely fine with me quitting if it is too much (and let's not forget we are going on the basis that I am going to get a weekend job, I may not!) I just wanted to give it a try.

I have told him there would be numerous conditions, including he would have to really amp up the amount of housework and food shopping he does, and that bedtimes would be absolutely regimented (we argue about bedtimes a lot, it would take a while to explain, I may go into it at a later point).

I would cut back all my extra curricular activities-including potentially football- to make my working week as streamlined as possible. BUT i would have to take my health seriously and I must use our exercise bike. I don't want to get fatter or use this as an excuse for eating badly and not doing exercise.

I really appreciate all your advice and I did listen to it, I know it seems like I didn't, but I really did. I possibly am making a mistake, but I felt I needed to at least give it a try.

There is also a DFD i follow by a lovely postee called Megano, and she works 7 days a week (she has something like 3-5 jobs) and so I asked her for advice and she was honest about the fact that sometimes she feels like throwing herself down the stairs just to get a day off, but the thought of her clearing her debt as soon as possible keeps her going and that it is to an extent possible.

We shall see what the future brings.

Thank you once again everyone.

xxxxxx

Sayschezza

If it's any help can I tell you that when oh and I divorced and I was in an industry covering any 5 from 7 days a week, I always worked overtime on my days off. It wasn't every week because the ot wasn't there every week but I kept it up for 4 years until the kids and I were established and secure again. Didn't do me any harm and I wasn't the only one in my industry who did it.

Florence_J

Thank you Saychezza

Thank you everyone for your advice.

I'll wait and see if the job invites me to interview and if I get it.

In terms of plan B i have worked out if I don't go to my football sessions, don't pay back my overdraft and don't spend money on anything (so basically don't go out and become a hermit) I can pay back OH in a similar time frame.

Neither Plan is particularly appetising to me, it's one sacrifice or another, but I guess I shouldn't complain when I got myself into this mess.

I told OH that I don't want to ever borrow money off him again. By which I mean I am never going to ask to borrow money again. I am going to do without or sell to make up the money or earn extra money somehow. I don't want him to bail me out.

The fact is OH is paying for us to go to my best friend's wedding, and it's his best friend's wedding next year to which he is best man, so he has his own expenses to come. The other fact is one of my friends who was invited to my best friends wedding is not going because they can't afford it, so why should I be bailed out when not everyone has the luxury of a good-with-money OH?

I was kidding myself that I was paying off my debts when really I was getting into a different kind of debt at the same rate I was paying off my debts. I was at neutral.

I need to be more self reliant.

doingitanyway

Hi Florence,
I have an interview this week for a job. I already work full time. In addition, over the Summer I will teach an evening class. Over the Autumn Winter I will teach about 30 hours at the weekend. If I get this new job I will be working at least every Sunday or Saturday night too

I plan to use my holiday to take days off here and there so no proper holiday for me this year. However, this way by Christmas I will be debt free so it will be so worth it.

I will succeed in getting out of this mess and it is down to me.

Working 6/7 days a week is not my ideal but I am confident I can do it in the short term (7/8 months ONLY)

Maybe you can use holiday leave to lessen the blow...

I wish you well as none of this is easy.

If your mental health starts to suffer you can always stop.

Good luck

Florence_J

I am really touched by everyone's advice and suggestions, thank you. I love this forum!

Lumanous

Hi Flo Just checking in, I haven't caught up with your diary yet but have subscribed and hope to read back a bit also.

I would say good on you. Try it and it could be good for you. You KNOW its temporary which makes a difficult work pattern more achievable (about to go into 3 months of hard manual work myself probably working 7 days & alone but for a good goal). Just keep an eye on yourself and check in on how you are feeling, how you are coping and look after yourself. Worst case you do what, say a month of extra work, find it's too much, pay some back to OH and then reduce to normal work again.

If this job doesn't work out, maybe next time you get a weekend job that's just a few hours on one day, so you work 5.5/6 days rather than 7

Just make sure you and the Mr still have some time for you two, no matter what. I've screwed up a relationship in the past by not realising what I had and working too much. I was stressed and got angry for no reason etc. I'll never get it back and never forgive myself for it, was totally not worth working that hard (makes me cry as I write this). Hopefully while he is on board he will help you with this too

Good luck! x

enthusiasticsaver

I have read the rest of your diary Flo and note the reasons for the debt not reducing over 2016. I agree with your determination not to carry on borrowing from your OH. He is not helping you in fact the debt you owe to him is just as much a millstone around your neck as the credit cards. Even if no interest being charged the fact is that he is encouraging you not to be self disciplined in your finances. Good luck with weekend job application and well done on reducing debt over last few months. Keep going.

Florence_J

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

I have read the rest of your diary Flo and note the reasons for the debt not reducing over 2016. I agree with your determination not to carry on borrowing from your OH. He is not helping you in fact the debt you owe to him is just as much a millstone around your neck as the credit cards. Even if no interest being charged the fact is that he is encouraging you not to be self disciplined in your finances. Good luck with weekend job application and well done on reducing debt over last few months. Keep going.

Thank you.

I have an interview on Friday for a weekend Cash Office job at a certain famous discount clothes shop. An obvious perk if I get it would potentially be a store discount, but since I am doing a No Spend Year and am..ahem..carrying extra weight this would not really be of use to me. Oh well.