Flo's Debt Free Diary

Florence_J

For the first time since at least late 2015, if not before that, my credit card and bank overdraft debt is less that £5000.

This is a small victory because as we all know I now have a sizeable debt to the boyfriend.

I think it is clear that part of my problem is I don't save. The fact is I haven't been able to and pay off my debts.

I think, if I was to get a weekend job, and I could stand it, I may carry on until after I have paid off the debt to the boyfriend until I have built up an emergency fund.

Let's see how the interview goes first.

Happy Friday everyone. Every day of May so far has been a NSD, I am planning on trying to go for as long as possible.

We do sort of need food though.

I am doing a bonus challenge that I am trying to go a week with only additional spends of £10 on food.

Must get ready. Cannot waste a day off work when it could be my last for a very long time !!!

Lumanous

Good work on getting under that £5k! & good luck for your interview.

Hope you have a great weekend!

skinnylove

I hope your interview goes well & sub £5k is great!

Florence_J

I had the interview on Friday. I was in a bit of a state of anxiety before, during and after. I withdrew my application.

I am going to live on a near zero budget and split my money between the overdraft/saving for Christmas once the overdraft is paid off and paying back OH.

My working in Bristol when I live in Cardiff is no longer sustainable and after being in my new job for barely three weeks I am now looking for work in Cardiff.

To be honest I don't feel good mentally. On Friday I was supposed to volunteer at my local arts centre, something I used to do near weekly but haven't done since December, and to cut a long story short I had a major panic attack, ended up crying in front of the front of house manager and then had to leave before I even begun.

This is the lowest I have felt all year.

I really feel helpless and don't know how to proceed.

Earlier this year because I wasn't coping with the customer service part of my Library job I was prescribed anti anxiety pills that block the physical symptoms of anxiety-such as heart palpitations and sweating. I can take up to 3 a day.

I no longer find that enough. If I could I would take much more than that a day.

I am in such a state of panic about everything. I have really lost the ability to be round people and am in total terror when I walk to the shops or something if it is busy.

I really don't know what I can do. I can't afford counselling. I can't take the time off work to attend NHS counselling as when I finally reached the top of the waiting list earlier this year the only session was Wednesdays at 3 which due to my 1 hour 45 commute from my house to work would cause too much trouble.

I am really, really struggling. And I don't know how to proceed or how to solve it.

jvr

Hi Flo


I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Anxiety can be so debilitating. Have you tried CBT before. When I was in a bad way last year my doctor recommended it. Now they offer an online version, so you get it straight away and you can work through it in your own time. Might be worth a try. You basically can refer yourself, will try find the info I had for you or worth seeing a doctor and see if they can give it to you.

Florence_J

jvr wrote: »

Hi Flo


I'm so sorry your feeling this way. Anxiety can be so debilitating. Have you tried CBT before. When I was in a bad way last year my doctor recommended it. Now they offer an online version, so you get it straight away and you can work through it in your own time. Might be worth a try. You basically can refer yourself, will try find the info I had for you or worth seeing a doctor and see if they can give it to you.

Thank you JVR, I will look into that. If you do find the information you had I would love it if you could send it my way.

Florence_J

DEBTS AS OF NOW

£1001.75 - OH - MUST BE PAID BACK THIS YEAR
£500 - OVERDRAFT - My Priority after the OH Debt.
£1393.06 - Lloyds 0% Balance Transfer card till Jan 2019
£3027.77 - Tesco 0% Balance Transfer Card till December 2018

TOTAL DEBT = £5992.58

Florence_J

Ok, I have been getting myself into a right tizz because I couldn't figure out a way to pay back OH, Pay off my overdraft, save for the big C Word that happens each year AND try to have a social life. It was looking like a part time job or not going out for the rest of the year was going to happen.

I have jigged some things around and I will have to give up football and leave a membership I have and no longer have a direct debit to my savings (I was only putting £20 a month in and tbh I was spending it most months) but this is how it will play out:

£125 x 8 Payments to OH (DEBT CLEARED 20TH DECEMBER 2017)

£100 x 5 to overdraft, thus clearing it and then £100 x 3 to savings account to put towards the big C word

and

£100 a month disposable income. Once it's gone it's gone.

I think this is realistic and fair. I mean, I know people like Michelle McGagh can go a whole year without spending money but I know me and I know that I will become even more socially anxious if I feel I can't socialise in a normal way.

I have had a good chat to my friend who has been in a similar situation in the past (and now if I/she is honest) and we have hatched a scheme to write an e book called something like 'The Poor b*****ds guide to surviving life' as between us we have picked up some resourceful skills. It could help pay off the debt at any rate.

Florence_J

I now feel the calmest I have for a good couple of weeks. I love it when a plan comes together. Some sacrifices have been made, that was inevitable, but I have a fair plan for going forward WITHOUT GETTING A WEEKEND JOB.

Sorry for all the maudlin posts recently, I feel much better now

motivated

Hi Florence

So glad you've got a plan and a way forward without the 2nd job and extra pressure. It looks like an excellent plan too :T
M