Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you're blowing this 'parents being asked...' out of proportion.

Really? I mentioned it once, in a question to a different poster.

You've now responded to that question three separate times!

As I said, I have no interest at all in your particular family dynamics.

I'm sure you'll respond again, but forgive me if I leave it there, shame I didn't even get a proper answer from the poster I actually asked but hey ho!

Lily-Rose_3

I was born in the early 1960s, and always called my parents brothers and sisters 'auntie Lou,' Auntie Pauline,' 'uncle John,' 'uncle Mike' etc; even when I was 30 and they were 60, and when I was 40 and they were 70. In fact I still do. Each to their own though, and if my nephews and nieces wanted to call me Lily, instead of auntie Lily, I would be OK with that.

It's largely generational I think, and people born in the 60s and after, are (IMO) more likely to be more laid back and chilled than someone a generation older. (or more...)

As for when the child starts calling Mrs Wotsit by her first name, or Auntie Fiona by just 'Fiona;' they can make that choice when they hit 18. It's nothing to do with the parents. It's between the (now grown) child and the person in question.

Personally, I would find a person very hostile and unapproachable if they told me I had to call them Mrs wotsit, and that she doesn't want me calling her by her first name. If I am an adult and she is too, the why would you not call each other by your first names?

The dentist and his receptionists call me by my first name, so do the doctors and the receptionists there, all my daughter's friends call me by my first name, my neighbours do, the people at the pub do, (incl the landlord,) and the people at Church do. It's very rare people call me Mrs Jones. I prefer to be called Lily actually.

I think the school always called me Mrs Jones, but then I always called them by Mr or Mrs too.

Oh and I want to be always 'nanny' every time; I hate 'granny.' (JMHO.) I never ever ever want to be called granny and my mother said the same. My parents: Nana Jones and grandad Jones and DH's parents: Nana Harris and grandad Harris. I don't think I have ever known anyone who prefers to be called granny.

No upfront harshness or put-downs intended. It's just all my own opinions and views.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

shame I didn't even get a proper answer from the poster I actually asked but hey ho!

Well maybe if you hadn't accused that particular poster of 'upfront harshness' maybe you would have got a reply....

Hey Ho! Hey Ho!......:cool:

mumps

I never liked nana, I read the Emile Zola novel as a teenager so always associate it with ladies of the night. Can be quite funny when you are confronted with someones grandmother when you are picturing a French courtesan.

NWOIHTS

Noticed a lot of replies saying they would keep married name for children's sake, i.e assuming they married, had kids and then divorced but what about this situation.

Girl gets married has kid, then divorces and has kid with another guy but retains her married name and gives that also to the kid born out of wedlock?

Girl I am talking about told me that she retains the name as doesn't want to be thought of as a single mum and kids with different names, but the thing is everyone that knows her knows she is single mum anyway, and everyone that doesn't...doesn't, so it doesn't make any difference lol - am I wrong?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

Really? I mentioned it once, in a question to a different poster.

You've now responded to that question three separate times!

As I said, I have no interest at all in your particular family dynamics.

I'm sure you'll respond again, but forgive me if I leave it there, shame I didn't even get a proper answer from the poster I actually asked but hey ho!

Shame you didn't think I replied properly - I certainly thought I had.

missbiggles1

Lily-Rose wrote: »

I was born in the early 1960s, and always called my parents brothers and sisters 'auntie Lou,' Auntie Pauline,' 'uncle John,' 'uncle Mike' etc; even when I was 30 and they were 60, and when I was 40 and they were 70. In fact I still do. Each to their own though, and if my nephews and nieces wanted to call me Lily, instead of auntie Lily, I would be OK with that.

It's largely generational I think, and people born in the 60s and after, are (IMO) more likely to be more laid back and chilled than someone a generation older. (or more...)

As for when the child starts calling Mrs Wotsit by her first name, or Auntie Fiona by just 'Fiona;' they can make that choice when they hit 18. It's nothing to do with the parents. It's between the (now grown) child and the person in question.

Personally, I would find a person very hostile and unapproachable if they told me I had to call them Mrs wotsit, and that she doesn't want me calling her by her first name. If I am an adult and she is too, the why would you not call each other by your first names?

The dentist and his receptionists call me by my first name, so do the doctors and the receptionists there, all my daughter's friends call me by my first name, my neighbours do, the people at the pub do, (incl the landlord,) and the people at Church do. It's very rare people call me Mrs Jones. I prefer to be called Lily actually.

I think the school always called me Mrs Jones, but then I always called them by Mr or Mrs too.

Oh and I want to be always 'nanny' every time; I hate 'granny.' (JMHO.) I never ever ever want to be called granny and my mother said the same. My parents: Nana Jones and grandad Jones and DH's parents: Nana Harris and grandad Harris. I don't think I have ever known anyone who prefers to be called granny.

No upfront harshness or put-downs intended. It's just all my own opinions and views.

I wouldn't expect someone I knew socially to call me by my title and surname but I would expect them to ask before using my first name, that's the difference.

I wouldn't want someone with whom I had a business relationship (in the most general sense) to call me by my first name and I wouldn't want to use theirs to them either.

Pollycat

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I wouldn't want someone with whom I had a business relationship (in the most general sense) to call me by my first name and I wouldn't want to use theirs to them either.

We used to holiday in Sri Lanka and bought jewellery from the same shop year-after-year and we gradually became friends - took their kids gifts from UK, stayed at their house after a dinner with the extended family etc - and when we were in the shop doing business he called me 'madam' but when we met for a drink after he closed his shop, he called me 'Pollycat'.

Got it about right, imho.

onlyroz

In general I think you should call somebody whatever they invite you to call them, but if you're given no guidance you should choose the formal option.


I was quite shocked when my daughter's friend addressed me by my first name. I would never have dreamed of doing the same thing when I was a child. I would also not like if my doctor/dentist/nurse/hairdresser etc addressed me by my first name without being invited to do so.

mrsHall2b

My aunty has now been divorced at least 10 years but still has her married name. no idea why though.