Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I think lots of people change that when the children grow up but good for you for checking first - many people don't.:(

I don't really see why the parents would need to be involved in decision their adult children and adult siblings make about what to call each other!

As children, yes to an extent, but once everybody is grown up? Why?

moneyistooshorttomention

missbiggles1 wrote: »

At all the colleges I've ever worked, all the female staff were Ms unless they were Dr.

I believe there are now one or two "titles" that are gender-neutral. That being - its not possible to tell what gender someone is even by putting "that title/persons surname". My head hurts ...as I've not managed to figure out just which letters are a prefix to a surname to be gender-neutral personally.

But then...I long since decided my name is to be put down as "initial then surname" (and no "title" anyway).

So - I don't personally really understand the fuss about titles anyway. Its "my initial MITSTM" and that's that and no clue is given re marital status or sex.

Why on earth would my marital status or sex have anything to do with "Me" (ie the person) anyway?

Re my nephews - the thought never really occurred to me that they would call me anything other than "First Name" and "first name" is how I sign cards to them.

Re letters sent to anyone - if I don't know them personally - then its "Dear first name/surname".

balletshoes

Pollycat wrote: »

I call my Aunts & Uncles - who are in their 70s & 80s - 'Auntie' & 'Uncle' but I think when my niece & nephew get a bit older (now12 & 16) I'd be happy for them to call me by my given name. I'd check with their Mum first though.

my nephews are all 18 or over now, my niece is 15, I'd be happy for any and all of them to drop the "auntie" and just call me by my first name. Its habit though, isn't it, I too have aunts and uncles who are in their 70s and 80s and I still struggle not to put auntie or uncle in front of their names when i'm addressing them.

Laurensalive

I divorced some years ago. The first thing I did was to change my name surname. Plus I always have Miss on all letters and any correspondence. I am free and single. So why should I be landed with the title MS or Mrs due to divorce.

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

I don't really see why the parents would need to be involved in decision their adult children and adult siblings make about what to call each other!

As children, yes to an extent, but once everybody is grown up? Why?

Because I'm polite.
Because I have a great relationship with my sister.
Because also she calls our Aunts & Uncles by that title.
You've been very vocal on this thread & it's clear - at least to me - that you have very different views to a lot of posters.
I don't need to explain my family dynamics to you.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

I don't really see why the parents would need to be involved in decision their adult children and adult siblings make about what to call each other!

As children, yes to an extent, but once everybody is grown up? Why?

I thought we were probably talking about older teenagers rather than those who'd reached middle age.:D

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I've refused to be called Nanny or Nanna - if I have to be a (sort of) grandmother I'll be Granny or Grandma.

I am very definitely a granny, an honourable title in my book but lots of people say it sounds like someone very old. How daft, do people think you get called nanna till your 70 and then change to granny.:rotfl:

My granny always insisted on being called granny although one of my aunts always referred to her as nanny so her kids did as well. Granny used to say nanny refers to two things, a female goat or a young girl paid a pittance to look after someone's children and I'm neither. A lady of strong opinions was granny.

missbiggles1

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I believe there are now one or two "titles" that are gender-neutral. That being - its not possible to tell what gender someone is even by putting "that title/persons surname". My head hurts ...as I've not managed to figure out just which letters are a prefix to a surname to be gender-neutral personally.

But then...I long since decided my name is to be put down as "initial then surname" (and no "title" anyway).

So - I don't personally really understand the fuss about titles anyway. Its "my initial MITSTM" and that's that and no clue is given re marital status or sex.

Why on earth would my marital status or sex have anything to do with "Me" (ie the person) anyway?

Re my nephews - the thought never really occurred to me that they would call me anything other than "First Name" and "first name" is how I sign cards to them.

Re letters sent to anyone - if I don't know them personally - then its "Dear first name/surname".

Well, my gender and (to a lesser extent marital status) is pretty intrinsic to the person I am.

Unfortunately your way of addressing a letter is incorrect and people will think you don't know any better rather than that you're making some kind of a point.

missbiggles1

mumps wrote: »

I am very definitely a granny, an honourable title in my book but lots of people say it sounds like someone very old. How daft, do people think you get called nanna till your 70 and then change to granny.:rotfl:

My granny always insisted on being called granny although one of my aunts always referred to her as nanny so her kids did as well. Granny used to say nanny refers to two things, a female goat or a young girl paid a pittance to look after someone's children and I'm neither. A lady of strong opinions was granny.

I'm totally in agreement with your granny - good for her!

moneyistooshorttomention

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, my gender and (to a lesser extent marital status) is pretty intrinsic to the person I am.

Unfortunately your way of addressing a letter is incorrect and people will think you don't know any better rather than that you're making some kind of a point.

Each to their own.

My personal opinion is mine. Your personal opinion is yours.

My way of addressing a letter is perfectly correct and I'm not making any point. I'm just addressing someone by their full name - and neither too formally or too informally.

The gender my body happens to be bears no relation whatsoever to "Me the person". The only relevance it has whatsoever is that I've been able to retire earlier than I would have if I had had a male body (plus side) and I've had to put up with periods/etc for many years until the blessed relief of menopause (minus side).

But my tastes/interests/the sort of person I am are based on "Me" and not related to the sex my body happens to be. I expect to be treated as "Me" and not the sex my body happens to be. Better women than I have fought long and hard for us all to be treated as people, rather than discriminated against as women so to say.

Marital status (like a lot of other things) is a matter of pure luck. You either meet the right person to marry - or you don't. If you don't then the choice is between staying single or marrying someone else and crossing fingers/hoping it will work out anyway. Either way, it doesn't alter the essential person. Single or married - I still have the same intelligence level/the same interests/the same tastes/am the same sort of person/have the same opinions/etc/etc.