Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

Torry_Quine

notanewuser wrote: »

What would you do for a same-sex couple, Torry?

I would probably use the names I've known them by. To be honest it has never crossed my mind:o

missbiggles1 wrote: »

You can't correct them because it isn't wrong. You can, of course, say that you prefer to be called Mrs.

It is wrong to me.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I didn't specifically tell anybody - I didn't need to.

Why would you presume that - I'd've been quite miffed if somebody of my own generation made that assumption about me?

If someone does something which isn't the usual then you do need to tell people.

notanewuser

So you're free to assume something (and we know what assumptions make) and take offence when reality is shown to be something else?

"Why?" isn't asked nearly enough about all these "traditions" IMO.

Person_one

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I would probably use the names I've known them by. To be honest it has never crossed my mind:o


It is wrong to me.


If someone does something which isn't the usual then you do need to tell people.

Ms is not wrong, it is the only title for a woman that makes no assumptions and can apply to anybody. You might prefer Mrs, and people should then use that if you ask them to, but you really need to drop the idea that Ms is some sort of slight!

pigpen

Person_one wrote: »

Ms is not wrong, it is the only title for a woman that makes no assumptions and can apply to anybody. You might prefer Mrs, and people should then use that if you ask them to, but you really need to drop the idea that Ms is some sort of slight!

I quite like the way at the antenatal services everyone is called 'Miss' whether they are married or not.. it tickles me every time.

As a young person I always used to think Ms was used if they were a lesbian .. I know of course that isn't true because I'm not 10 any more.. Miss for unmarried, Mrs for married and Ms for lesbian, the ignorance of youth .. yet I use Ms now I am divorced.. Miss goes with my dads name and that is not mine.

Same-sex couples.. I know many who have double barrelled their names, or mashed them to make a new one .. I think it depends on the norm within their social circle.. the same as with any other married couple.. Peer influence is great

Torry_Quine

notanewuser wrote: »

So you're free to assume something (and we know what assumptions make) and take offence when reality is shown to be something else?

"Why?" isn't asked nearly enough about all these "traditions" IMO.

I assume this is aimed at me.

I certainly wouldn't take offence if the reality wasn't what I had thought but don't we all make assumptions based on our life experience. I can think of only one person I know who retained her maiden name for prefessional reasons but ever other woman I know uses her married name.

Person_one wrote: »

Ms is not wrong, it is the only title for a woman that makes no assumptions and can apply to anybody. You might prefer Mrs, and people should then use that if you ask them to, but you really need to drop the idea that Ms is some sort of slight!

It is wrong for me. Until very recently I had only come across Ms for divorced women or sometimes older women who had never married but had a child. Until MSE I had not come across a married woman using it.

System

Personally i would use:

Miss before i got married.
Mrs after i got married.
Ms if i was divorced or separated.

If i was widowed i'd still use Mrs.

missbiggles1

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I would probably use the names I've known them by. To be honest it has never crossed my mind:o


It is wrong to me.


If someone does something which isn't the usual then you do need to tell people.

It isn't a matter of your personal opinion, Ms is a perfectly correct title for any woman whether married or not. The fact that you don't like it is a personal opinion which, of course, you have a perfect right to express.

(Unless you mean wrong in some kind of moral sense which would be seriously scary!:eek:)

Keeping your own name is a perfectly usual thing to do and has been for nearly half a century, which is what many people here are saying. It may not be a choice made by a majority of women but that doesn't mean it isn't usual.

notanewuser

Judi wrote: »

Personally i would use:

Miss before i got married.
Mrs after i got married.
Ms if i was divorced or separated.

If i was widowed i'd still use Mrs.

Why are you content to be defined by your marital status when men aren't?

Torry_Quine

notanewuser wrote: »

Why are you content to be defined by your marital status when men aren't?

I love being the fact that I am known as married by my name.;)

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It isn't a matter of your personal opinion, Ms is a perfectly correct title for any woman whether married or not. The fact that you don't like it is a personal opinion which, of course, you have a perfect right to express.

(Unless you mean wrong in some kind of moral sense which would be seriously scary!:eek:)

Keeping your own name is a perfectly usual thing to do and has been for nearly half a century, which is what many people here are saying. It may not be a choice made by a majority of women but that doesn't mean it isn't usual.

It wasn't in any way a usual thing until very recently for women to use Ms in my experience.

moneyistooshorttomention

Mojisola wrote: »

Some divorced women might have started using Ms rather than Mrs but Ms has never been just for divorced women.

Mr means an adult male; Ms means an adult female.

Neither describe the adult's marital status.

Absolutely:T

"ms" means = I am a person in my own right (ie regardless of marital status). That would be - the same as men are then:cool: