Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

notanewuser

We don't wear our wedding rings, don't share a name. Doesn't make us any less a family than if we did.

Kim_kim

Lily-Rose wrote: »

A lady I knew years ago, had a double barrelled surname that had 8 syllables, and her Christian name had 5 syllables - so she had a THIRTEEN SYLLABLE name. And it had 31 letters in total.

And that wasn't including any middle name. (She didn't have one.)

The second name in her double barrelled surname, was Russian.

She got married, and then had a one syllable, 5 letter surname!

She couldn't wait to get rid of her old name; she said she spent an agonising 25 years having to spell it to everyone she spoke to, who needed to write it down. And she said at school and college and work, nobody EVER pronounced or spelt it correctly. Sometimes, when she was telling someone her name, she would repeat it - and spell it out - up to 5 or 6 times! What a nightmare! :eek:

My birth name & step fathers name aren't really complicated, but I'd probably need to spell them.

Where as my ex husbands name is simple, short & "easier".

That's the real reason I've stuck with it.

Never occurred to me it might bother his girlfriend.

pigpen

Kim_kim wrote: »

My birth name & step fathers name aren't really complicated, but I'd probably need to spell them.

Where as my ex husbands name is simple, short & "easier".

That's the real reason I've stuck with it.

Never occurred to me it might bother his girlfriend.

my fathers name is Stephenson (I don't mine telling you because its not been my name for 23 years) .. I had to spell that.. constantly.. Since I married I don't even say the name I just spell it and OH's is even less common.. there are 5 people in the country with his surname.. 4 live in my house the other is his dad! it is spelled exactly as it is said.. so we just spell it rather than say it.

simple doesn't always make it easier


LW ... you made a difference.. I know that still using cf's name really pee's him off (the main reason I still do).. I never considered it would pee off his pet druggy.. that makes me happy.. I need to find out.. my super-sloth senses are honed. .. ty

coolcait

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Yes you're right. Thank you. What I meant (and should have said) is that when I was younger, a woman who was a 'Ms' generally tended to be divorced. Very few women who were single went by the term 'Ms,' they were just 'Miss' usually. (But yes, I know 'Ms' means 'single' too. ...

Maybe there were indeed regional differences after all?

My younger days, which seem to have been round about the same time as yours, were my 'living in the big city' days. My professional contacts were also 'living in the big city' - and that covered a number of cities.

I knew lots of women who were known as 'Ms'. I don't know the actual 'marital status' of all of them :-). But, I know that quite a few were married, some were single, and a couple were divorced.

Back home, there were very few who called themselves 'Ms'.

But there were also very few who called themselves 'Miss'.

If Josephine Soap was single, she simply called herself 'Josephine Soap'. If she was married, she would often call herself 'Josephine Soap' - sometimes 'Mrs Soap'. But never 'Mrs Brian Soap' - however correct that might have been in terms of etiquette.


(All names, in true MSE tradition, have been changed)

coolcait

Torry_Quine wrote: »

A question for those women who didn't change their name when they married. Did you tell people that you were going to continue using the same name as before? If someone didn't say then I would presume they were changing to their married name.

I take the opposite approach. Unless someone tells me they have changed their name, I'll keep using the name they have always gone by.

In the work arena, I have dealt with people who have changed name because of reasons which are entirely unrelated to marriage.

I have dealt with men who changed their name on marriage and women who didn't.

Everybody's different.

patanne

I kept my married name on (my 2nd) divorce as that time I had a child and had noticed that teachers ALWAYS called mothers Mrs (child's surname) and it all just seemed too complicated. If the ex didn't like it, well that was his problem, but it never occurred to me to ask! I have had 3 surnames now, all completely British and I have had to spell out every one on most occasions. I use Ms by the way because it is the only one that is remotely accurate. What I do dislike is when people who should know better use my first 'first name' instead of my second. A last name is just a name and no-one who really knows you ever uses it which is why some family members forget which one to use. I have friends who still use my original surname which I haven't used for over 40 years.

From a completely different point of view. My sister also kept her divorced husband's surname. This was because the house she lived in was owned in that name and her degrees were in that name and she didn't have the money to change them all. By the time she did she was known professionally by that name and it had become impractical.

So we all have our reasons. It is also a lot more difficult to change your name now than it used to be.

Person_one

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

For me, when we married and then had children we became a family unit. I like that we all have the same family name. I don't feel like I'm my husband's possession. And he is not my possession. But we are one family.

That's a nice enough reason that makes sense, but it would be just as true if your husband took your name or if you both chose a new one together.

System

Person_one wrote: »

You could change your name tomorrow if you don't like it.

I fell too much time has passed to do it now, i've wanted to change it to my stepdad's (and my family's) for a few years but worry that its too late, that of if i was going to i should have done it at 18 i don;t want to make a big deal of it which it would if i changed it now. Sorry its hard to explain.

Torry_Quine

coolcait wrote: »

I take the opposite approach. Unless someone tells me they have changed their name, I'll keep using the name they have always gone by.

In the work arena, I have dealt with people who have changed name because of reasons which are entirely unrelated to marriage.

I have dealt with men who changed their name on marriage and women who didn't.

Everybody's different.

True everyone is different but the norm is still for a woman to change her name on marriage so that would always be my expectation unless told otherwise.

notanewuser

What would you do for a same-sex couple, Torry?