Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

Lily-Rose_3

A lady I knew years ago, had a double barrelled surname that had 8 syllables, and her Christian name had 5 syllables - so she had a THIRTEEN SYLLABLE name. And it had 31 letters in total.

And that wasn't including any middle name. (She didn't have one.)

The second name in her double barrelled surname, was Russian.

She got married, and then had a one syllable, 5 letter surname!

She couldn't wait to get rid of her old name; she said she spent an agonising 25 years having to spell it to everyone she spoke to, who needed to write it down. And she said at school and college and work, nobody EVER pronounced or spelt it correctly. Sometimes, when she was telling someone her name, she would repeat it - and spell it out - up to 5 or 6 times! What a nightmare! :eek:

Lily-Rose_3

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

For me, when we married and then had children we became a family unit. I like that we all have the same family name. I don't feel like I'm my husband's possession. And he is not my possession. But we are one family.

This is exactly how I feel, and my husband too. We love being a family unit, we love all having the same name, we love having a home together, and we complement each other beautifully. Yes, it's not all sunshine and roses, and we do squabble occasionally, but we can't imagine life without each other, and are really good friends...

LameWolf wrote: »

Fwiw, it irritates me to death that my DH's ex still uses his surname, even though they divorced 25 years ago. Not a celebrity, and no professional reason for retaining it.

When I divorced my ex, I would have changed my name just to get rid of his, except that I was getting remarried almost immediately, which made it a bit pointless to do so.

Jagraf wrote: »

Why does it irritate you? I use my ex's name, who I can't stand, but that's because of my daughter. I'm just interested to know why it bugs you.

I am curious to know the answer to this too. Why is lame wolf so irritated that her husband's ex still uses his name? I don't think I would care.

Pollycat

LameWolf wrote: »

Fwiw, it irritates me to death that my DH's ex still uses his surname, even though they divorced 25 years ago. Not a celebrity, and no professional reason for retaining it.

When I divorced my ex, I would have changed my name just to get rid of his, except that I was getting remarried almost immediately, which made it a bit pointless to do so.

I was married to my first husband for 11 years, from quite a young age.
Everybody at work knew me by that name, so why should I change it back?

If my ex had remarried, I wouldn't have given his new wife a second thought - even though she would have had the same surname as me.

Likewise, when I married my second husband - who had also been married before - I didn't mind one bit that his ex kept his surname.

As you mention getting remarried 'almost immediately' after your divorce, maybe there was some bad blood that makes you feel the way you do.....?

notanewuser

Mojisola wrote: »

I had a few letters addressed to me as 'Mrs Husband's first name and surname' after I got married. I sent them back and insisted that the companies wrote to me using my name in future.

This was the first year in the 11 that DH and I have been married that my nan addressed my birthday card to the right name. :rotfl:

notanewuser

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Personally I dislike the term Ms and will correct people who use it instead of Mrs when writing to me.

Whereas anyone calling me Mrs DH'sname or Myname gets short shrift from me. :rotfl:

notanewuser

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

For me, when we married and then had children we became a family unit. I like that we all have the same family name. I don't feel like I'm my husband's possession. And he is not my possession. But we are one family.

Would that not be the case if you all shared your name? Or a new one you chose together?

Torry_Quine

A question for those women who didn't change their name when they married. Did you tell people that you were going to continue using the same name as before? If someone didn't say then I would presume they were changing to their married name.

System

Fwiw, it irritates me to death that my DH's ex still uses his surname, even though they divorced 25 years ago. Not a celebrity, and no professional reason for retaining it.

Similarly, my fiance who became my second husband hated the fact my name was Mrs C.

notanewuser

Torry_Quine wrote: »

A question for those women who didn't change their name when they married. Did you tell people that you were going to continue using the same name as before? If someone didn't say then I would presume they were changing to their married name.

We told people beforehand, had the announcements at the venue in our own names (so no Mr + Mrs) and then sent back anything sent to us made out to the wrong names (couldn't cash cheques etc otherwise). Vast majority of people were fine about it - a lot of friends haven't changed their names on marriage either. Took the older generation (and my own mother) a bit longer to come to terms with it.

Torry_Quine

notanewuser wrote: »

We told people beforehand, had the announcements at the venue in our own names (so no Mr + Mrs) and then sent back anything sent to us made out to the wrong names (couldn't cash cheques etc otherwise). Vast majority of people were fine about it - a lot of friends haven't changed their names on marriage either. Took the older generation (and my own mother) a bit longer to come to terms with it.

Then I would address you as requested, very rude otherwise.